The most embarrassing part of your illness?

My T never told me it was a personality trait....I'm not sure. See I think I know what u mean in reference to the 2 ppl that never apologize. My step-dad is like that. He is uncomfortable apologizing and acts like nothing happened. Some ppl will go buy the person they have wronged a gift (my mom).
It might be a personality thing and it is heightened by my bipolar 1 (extreme mania). Anytime I do something to someone, toward or attempt to I feel justified because they provoke me. Period. I do ask explain to family what my triggers are. However they tend to not retain info pertaining to me very well.

I have attempted to have a conscience by apologizing but I stopped trying. My oldest daughter would get mad bc she could tell I did not mean it. She was correct. She hit a trigger after being told it was one...so she got the outcome. I went for a disability hearing and the judge I had asked me "do u not have any remorse"? I truthfully answered the question. No. The killer part is I didn't use to be this why!!! I have been concerned abt it and mentioned it to my T, and pdoc. My bad did mean to type a book. LOL

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Losing a job and the walk of shame to pick up my tools as my coworkers look on wondering.......

.....having your brother-in-law's mother tell you that her friends have asked her what is wrong with you because they've seen you laughing and talking to yourself during your manic times....................

.......randomly going to your crush's house at 1 in the morning to borrow salt so you can "kill the snails before they get into your house".................

Delusions and just keeping most of my reactions to myself so I don't seem 'crazy'. People then just think 'You have bipolar? It's not that bad, it must be really mild, I didn't notice it'. I guess that's a good thing, but it's also annoying when trying to tell people you're actually ill and they think you're getting carried away and making it up.

....feeling just fine when you walk into work, then little by little, you get yourself worked up over something YOU THOUGHT one of your coworkers said about you, until you fly into a rage and start screaming at her and cussing her out and walk off; then turn around and scream and cuss out your supervisor on your way out-then go and get drunk over it with an ex-boyfriend..

Hypersexuality and self-obsession

The impulsive behavior when manic. The partying, the creativity (not bad at all, I actually miss it), just the bad behavior associated with it.

The depressive state where everything just makes you cry and not want to get out of bed. You can't help yourself and your partner is wondering why you can't just "snap out of it".

People not understanding the illness in general. Feeling ashamed as being labeled as "that crazy person".

Losing friends because of your behavior.

I hate all of it. I wish I could just be normal. I want a cure.

My issue at the moment is problems with work colleagues. I take some things as a personal attack and I get very upset by them. When Im not in an episode there is no problem, but catch me during depression they are all against me and doing things on purpose to make me feel bad or inadequate. I need to be more controlled but I am finding it difficult not to be upset by some of the things they say or imply about me or my work. Its upsetting during the episode and embarrassing after the episode. But they all know Im just a crazy chic anyway, so Im sure thats what they all think when I get upset.

Banging on the door of a friends house at 4AM with a message from God to deliver urgently to him, and when he opens the door, bursting into tears and yelling "I am the Angel Michael, and we are all angels, and this is hell!"

Having a concerned friend come around to visit to check on you, acting all cool like nothing is wrong, and just as you've successfully faked it and he's leaving, saying to him, "Hey Peter, you're never going to believe this, this will blow your mind - I am Jesus."

For me, it's my memory and lack of mindfulness. I will be training someone in the morning for a few hours and leave for lunch. Sometimes I run into them at lunch and I am panicked because I don't remember if they are the person I have been training today or someone I trained recently. (I work for a decent size company) I also had a couple of cases when I come back for lunch and was in a panic because I did not remember who I was training. This fortunately does not happen all the time. I try to be " mindful" but sometimes I just don't realize I haven't been until it's too late.

Being honest in your mental health screening, then being accused of "over-stating" and "exaggerating" your symptoms because your answers were so bizzare-even tho you told the truth the entire time......

Being hateful and nasty and arrogant to others. Deeply regret it.

Not showering.

This past episode it was a week.

When I shake all the time in public

~Ashley~

My credit card bills after I went on a spending spree, and scrambling to find out how much of the stuff I can take back.

Ouch!!

For me the most embarrasing thing was the time I was in a mixed state. I didn't know what to make of it.

For me, the most embarrassing thing about my illness is that I can no longer handle stress of any kind. I just break down and cry. If I'm in a stressful situation, like shopping for groceries, I have to take a nap when I get home. It's just too much to deal with people.

Decreased cognitive status after ECTs

For me the most embarassing thing is that I have all the tools: intelligence, good looks, physically fit (albeit a bit skinny since I've been sliding for months), beautiful children and friends who love me.... but when I get into this particular state (I think it's mixed because I'm not really sad, just scared and confused and avoidant) I fall apart and everything I've built slides because I can't seem to get out there and manage it.

I feel like I'm missing an important piece.

Being too I'll to go into work. I'm in between jobs now because I couldn't handle the anxiety and stress of work. I'm embarrassed it got to this point. This is the 2nd job I've left, now I'm changing careers and I fear if I can ever hold a steady job for more than a couple of years.

I can relate to everyone's comments. When I am down I can't do anything and have to apologize for being 'lazy'. I love being UP but then I have all the apologizes that follow my dumb behavior.

EXACTLY! I'm sure people wonder what agreement, job, volunteer work, whatever I will come up with next. I have No idea where some of my aspirations, ideas come from.

Mania is so embarrassing.

Having family tell me that although I am special to them , I am not special to the world, as in not a prophet. Ignoring this and telling the psychiatrists that I am a prophet and I need to leave hospital to complete my mission (despite being sectioned)

Looking back at my behaviour is hideous

Ease up on yourself Hb! That behavior is not your fault; it is from the disease, of which, you did not ask for.