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#577
Jun 10, 2014, 05:53 PM
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I'm ready to quit my job. Tired of the b.s. really thinking about melting into oblivion for the next 9 hours +. Not sure what I'm feeling other than ped to the point of high blood pressure.
Tig
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
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#578
Jun 10, 2014, 06:33 PM
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Well the good news is, it was a good day. The bad news, It didn't stick around. What is it about the evening and night?
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The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow Don't give up |
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#579
Jun 10, 2014, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
 )Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk
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Bipolar II - ADHD ~A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?~ Albert Einstein |
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#582
Jun 10, 2014, 10:21 PM
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Well I started with a new psychiatrist and she started me on 10 mg of Lexapro and changed my Seroquel for bedtime and sleep to the Seroquel XR so it works during the day too. I think the Seroquel XR is making me dizzy and a little stumbly & clumsy & I can't really tell if that's what it is, or something else is going on it's making me feel mildly drugged throughout the day. I've been feeling moderately depressed a little hopeless and somewhat apathetic. But unfortunately I'm also having elevated irritable symptoms as well... so I think that means I'm still mixed. Why can I just get a nice hypomania with no crazy symptoms just energy and no need to sleep?! Instead I'm up and then down and doing lists and schedules like a mad man on some kind of serious time constraint, but also feeling suicidal & having violent intrusive thoughts & images; some from PTSD trauma flashbacks & some intrusive thoughts of either hurting or killing myself with very graphic images. It's incredible that I'm still dealing with my kids and doing my laundry and showering. I feel so insane inside like I'm going to spontaneously combust or implode or something. All it takes to get a full on panic attack going is me dropping something or some tangled hangers. Tangled hangers are my arch-nemesis. I freaking lose it when I have to deal with them.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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"I would say any behavior that is not the status quo is interpreted as insanity, when, in fact, it might actually be enlightenment. Insanity is sorta in the eye of the beholder." - Chuck Palahniuk |
 Anonymous45023
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#583
Jun 11, 2014, 02:44 AM
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Patience is waning. Headache included makes things ****ing worse. *******.
Work sucks sometimes.
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"You got to fight those gnomes...tell them to get out of your head!" |
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#584
Jun 11, 2014, 03:14 AM
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I got a call about a job last night. It's a staff accountant position. Going to be super stressful. I'd be in charge of closing the books for a whole division, cost analysis, fixed assets, and some other stuff. Not sure if I can handle that. But it's a an almost $20k raise from what I'm making now. Is my health worth that much money. I think I'd be fine. I'm relatively stable right now.
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#585
Jun 11, 2014, 04:00 AM
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Took valium and set off to pour concrete slab today. Was stressing about it thinking couldn't do......but was happily surprised at how all worked out.
Stress for today done and dusted. Pdoc says I have to start on 10mg Saphris this week, I keep putting it off....Do I start tonight? Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
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"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes"  Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
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#586
Jun 11, 2014, 07:14 AM
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I have been uncoordinated recently with also being scatterbrained. Every so often I go through something like this. I am right now awake since 4:30 in the morning. I hope this situation will improve for me.
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Bipolar II and GAD Venlafaxine, Lamotragine, Buspirone, Risperidone |
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#587
Jun 11, 2014, 10:49 AM
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I feel good, but it is not a "real" good, it is a "chemical" good.
Hope that makes sense |
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#588
Jun 11, 2014, 11:00 AM
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Very tired...been tired a lot lately....not sleeping well...snoring a lot...with some sinus issues...hence bad sleep....feeling down today...but it's related to being tired...not depression. Tonight my wife and I plan to watch some more Orange is the New Black and get to bed early -- I will get some reading done tonight too...been digging on a good sci-fi series I read back in college.
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#590
Jun 11, 2014, 11:14 AM
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A down day today. a combination of a dreary day, raining, sleep deprived, medication and mood.
Just going to lay low
__________________
The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow Don't give up |
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#591
Jun 11, 2014, 01:05 PM
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Somewhat depressed, trying to get used to the med change. Luckily no side effects from the latuda. Having trouble sleeping like usual. On med leave and I can't sit still. This has been a problem for a month or so.
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#592
Jun 11, 2014, 03:28 PM
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Saw my pdoc today, and she is worried that i may be in hypomania. The reason is i haven't wanted to sleep much, and also hypersexual and hooking up with a few people. She is worried i'll do things i will regret or get myself into trouble. She is especially worried that i'll take drugs and get suspended at work. I really don't plan to do that.
I feel good and in control right now. She told me to self monitor, and take 15 mg of saphris instead of 10mg for a week if i need to. I said i don't really want to change how i feel, and she said that's what worries her, lol. Anyways, she forgot/i forgot for her to give me 5mg samples so i can adjust if i need to. I can always break the 10's i guess. Why does feeling good have to be pathological? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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"Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body?" "Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me. Those feel they're touched my madness, sit down next to me. Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me." |
 Hbomb0903
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#595
Jun 11, 2014, 03:54 PM
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Not really sure how today is, actually. I think something is terribly wrong, but I don't know what. I saw my t this morning. I had to get a new one - the one I liked is on maternity leave and I actually kind of hate this one. Anyway, I'm REALLY agitated. And my anxiety is through the roof. But I'm also...just...off. This is going to sound strange, but I'm trying to decide if I'm sui or not. You'd think I'd be able to tell, but I honestly can't. Trying to decide if I should hotline myself or something since I'm home alone for the next 3 days and don't even have to be at work til tomorrow night. Managed to eat something this afternoon for the first time since Sunday. I had a tortilla. It was miserable. I've felt like this before and always pulled through so maybe a hotline call is overreacting. Sigh.
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"I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between." Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath |
| Blitter2014
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#596
Jun 11, 2014, 04:10 PM
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Quote:
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"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes" Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
| lonelychick
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#597
Jun 11, 2014, 05:40 PM
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Think I'm not on the right combo/dosage. I'm all over the place. I'm so easily ped off. And apparently overreacting to everything. Or at least that's what I keep getting told. Want to call Pdoc, but I don't "really" have one right now. The one that I was seeing left at the end of May. So now I'm in between. My anxiety is through the roof. I still want to beat the crud out of people and fighting that urge I think is causing the über anxiety attack.
Oh and mom is having surgery. Its a semi major surgery on her bowel area from internal radiation several years ago. She's abusive though so I don't talk to her much. Maybe I care more than I keep trying to convince myself. Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#598
Jun 11, 2014, 05:43 PM
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Feeling lonely. Best friend of ten years appears constantly annoyed by me, but that could just be me. How am I suppose to tell the difference between what I'm sensing and what's actually going on? No one would outright say, "Yeah, you're kind of ticking me off." I try to trim back my behavior and be extra nice just in case, but it seems to annoy them even more. Computer charger completely stopped working, and I'm having urges to self harm.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
"We are more than the worst thing that's ever happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing for having been to hell and come back breathing. Your bad dreams are battle scars. What doesn't kill you cuts you f****** deep but scars are just skin growing back thicker when it heals." ~ Clementine von Radics Bipolar type 2 complex PTSD GAD Depression possibly OCD |
| charo224488
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#600
Jun 12, 2014, 09:42 AM
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For the first time in my life I am happy that I see the P.doc today.
Not feeling sui, just like I want to run away from the world |
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