Suicidal Thoughts...do they creep up on you gradually or bombard you suddenly?

I seem to be more the latter. I haven't really noticed anything that warns me when they are going to hit, but once they do, they will last anywhere from 3 days to 3 months.

Is it normal to have zero thoughts of suicide, and then within a couple of days, you can't think of anything else?

Sorry if I'm asking a bad or redundant question, I'm just trying to find more ways I can relate to people as I spiral down into lonely land...

I can understand wanting to relate. I feel the same way. For me it mostly happens out of the blue without any warning. I'll be sitting at my computer feeling alright and then out of no where I just want to kill myself and there's no telling on how long it lasts... On the night that lead to me being diagnosed I was biking back from class feeling pretty happy and as soon as I got home all of a sudden I jumped to a 10 on the depression scale and I tried to kill myself. Ended up in the ICU for a day. So you're not alone. It's normal to have zero thoughts of suicide and then all of a sudden for that to change

Mine are always triggered by some situation. In the past, when I had a job, often situations at work were the triggers. Lately, arguing with my husband can do it. Very recently an emotional event sent me reeling back into unhealty ideations.

When did the thoughts and feelings start? What was going on when they came up? If you examine your situation carefully, you will discover the trigger. Sometimes meds can put you in that frame of mind. Have you started a new one? Have you gone off any?

Just keep in mind, the thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings, but you have complete control over your behavior. Please don't act on your thoughts.

They creep up for me mostly, but i haven't had anything more than fleeting thoughts in a long time, thankfully.

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They kinda come... sometimes totally randomly.

Mine usually only hit in deep depression, so they aren't usually unexpected. I feel the depression and know that if it continues, I'll end up suicidal. After the depression is over, I'll have fleeting suicidal ideation for maybe a week.

I get very passive ideas of suicide that spring up on me randomly. Like this morning I was driving my husband to work and the thought came in my head "I want to die." Now I'm trying to distract myself from those thoughts.

Its been situational and random with me throughout the years. Usually I am depressed when this happens and my mind is racing. Maybe thats mixed episode idk? Its usually that I think my lived ones would be better off without me especially my kids or that I am just tired of living this way. Sometimes they last only a short time sometimes a very long time.

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Over the past couple of months, I've been experiencing more suicidal thoughts with this nearly-8-month depressive episode. It usually happens to me at night, when I'm lying in bed for hours waiting to take my nighttime medication. Rarely does it happen during the day. I think it's because when I'm lying in bed at night, I feel like I've given up on trying to beat this episode. In the morning when I lie in bed for hours before finally getting up, for some reason I don't feel that way. I guess it's because I know lots of people aren't out of bed at 4 in the morning (when I usually wake up), but the majority of people don't go to bed at night and just lie there for hours. I just have to realize that it's not catastrophic for me to be in bed at night and to not beat myself up so much for it, or feel like life is not worth living.

Have you tried reading before sleeping?

I used to get that way at night when the night was winding down. If get really anxious and feel like I didn't accomplish anything. The thoughts turned into self-defeating thoughts which would turn into suicidal ones. I'm still not completely sure what changed it, but I still experience self-defeating thoughts before sleeping. Just not as severe.

I haven't tried reading before sleeping. I'm generally in bed about 4 hours before I actually try to sleep, and I doubt I could read for 4 hours. Thanks for the input though.

Can you try to stay out of bed until you're actually going to sleep? I know it's hard when you're depressed, but I find only using my bed for sleeping is a good way to help sleep problems.

Have you tried to just get in bed before sleeping? It could help your body associate the bed with sleep.

I think that it could contribute to the problem and would be worth trying? I mean, I sit on a coach for 10 hrs a day sometimes, but I only really get on my bed if I'm intending to sleep. My psychologist at some point mentioned bed is only intended for sleep and sex. I think if you are sitting/laying and not doing anything for 4 hours it would be hard to not doubt yourself. I know habits are hard to change though.

My depression is so bad that it gets to a point everyday when I just feel I can't participate in life anymore. As it is, I struggle to function during the daytime when I'm out of bed. It's just a bad rut that I'm in. My depression has caused me to really limit my activities to just those that pass the time, e.g., internet and watching t.v. I really have no interest/motivation to do much of anything else at this point, unless it's with my husband on the weekends or something. So I force myself to be out of bed until 5 p.m. and then at that point am tired of the internet and t.v. and just can't take being out of bed anymore. It's probably hard to understand. It's like I give up at 5:00 p.m. I was going to start a thread wondering if other people in depression spend time lying in bed when they're not sleeping. Maybe I still will. I feel really ashamed and embarrassed about this habit.

My sleep is actually pretty good. I sleep about 7 hours a night, with not much interruption in the sleep. I've heard that the bed should only be used for sleep and sex, but right now I just can't hang much past 5 p.m., and then I have to retreat to my bed.

I'm sure someday I'll look back on this and realize just how very depressed I was. The need to retreat to bed is obviously a sign of deep depression. When I get to the point where I go to bed when I'm ready to sleep and get up when I wake up between 7 and 8 hours later, that will tell me I'm not depressed anymore.

Thanks for your thoughts, guys. As I said, right now I'm in a bed rut that I just can't get out of.