This CAN'T be normal...

My family doesn't think there's anything wrong with me. Or they think whatever's wrong with me is very mild, and I don't need treatment/drugs. This is very frustrating to me because how I feel can't possibly be normal. My moods and thoughts jump around constantly. I'll be suicidal for a few days and then elated for a few days. It interferes with my ability to function on a day-to-day basis.

Tuesday I was experiencing severe depression, so I broke down and went to my GP and admitted that a therapist had diagnosed me with bipolar I disorder. He gave me a prescription for Abilify to take along with my 20mg of Citalopram. I'm supposed to come back in 2 weeks so he can monitor how I'm doing. But my husband and mom don't think I should take the Abilify because it's a "serious drug" and I'm just not that bad off. This really makes me question my own judgment to take the medicine. Sometimes I just feel so tired of all this...

You know how your thoughts are affecting you the best.

If you believe it's interfering with your life then it probably is.

Sometimes family just don't want to accept those they love may be in trouble. They want to think that they can fix it or maybe that they're the problem so enter into denial.

You need to do what is best for you.

You won't know if the pills can help you if you don't try. (Just keep in mind that dosages need adjusting and some pills won't work for you where others might.)

And hopefully if it brings a change your family will understand how much you've been struggling.

I think your husband and mom are in denial. You know what is going on with you, and you need to continue the course of treatment. As for Abilify, all it is an atypical anti-psychotic used in combination with either an anti-depressant or a mood stabilizer. It does not work for everyone, but I can tell you it saved my life.

I agree with the previous comments. I have had trouble with my mother in the past and now accepting that I have BP 1 and OCD. Even when I was suicidal she would say that is what all teens go thru. I feel you should go with your gut instinct and the fact that you have been diagnosed by a professional and your family is not professionals. It is sad that you do not have family support, but hopefully all of us can help you thru this.

THERE'S SOME GREAT ADVICE GIVEN HERE THUS FAR - but I want to add to these the fact that nearly all of us BP's begin with denying our illness and finding hundreds of reasons why the mental health professionals are wrong and we were just going through a bad period in our lives, or weren't thinking correctly, or were just emotionally devastated by Blah, Blah, Blah . . . . But eventually, this illness traps us in a corner where we cannot deny its reality. Only then, provided we survive, can we accept the help we so desperately need.

If you've been diagnosed by a mental health professional, please accept the truth of your illness and follow their guidance to recovery - before something disasterous happens to you.

I had a really hard time accepting my dx, to the point of convincing myself the convo with my pdoc went differently than it did...but then I started reading about BP and checking stuff out and I was like, yup...that me...

It was hard to tell my dad, because one his best friends was Type 1 (i am type 2), and his friend committed suicide about a decade back...so I think when I told my dad he didn't want to accept it.

I still need to address it with the family...but I think this summer around the campfire, it'd make a good family discussion...as I am sure, upon describing it they will likely agree with my doc.

Aren't families great, zona? Pretty much everyone around me knew I was an alcoholic (they always do), but when I finally accepted it, bit the bullet, & entered an inpatient treatment program, most of my family responded with a resound, "Oh, no, you're fine! There aren't any alcoholics in our family, and besides, women can't be alcoholics--only men."

Some of my family haven't spoken to me or included me in family events since then (1981). Most listened later & realized that many on both sides of my family were alcoholics, ever (whisper this) women.

Very professional advice in the above posts--from people who have been where you are. It might be better, though, to see a psychiatrist about meds. GPs and PCPs aren't usually well-trained and experienced in psychiatric meds. Finding the right mix/dosage can be a bit tricky.

I'm bipolar II and haven't had a manic episode, but now that I'm educated in the disorder I can see periods of hypomania going back 40 yrs.

Best wishes, keep coming back, and be assured many of us here really really understand. Take best care.

Roads

Nobody really knows what is going on in you and what you need except for you. They don't know what it is like to be you. They also won't ever really understand. I am still learning this lesson and was just thinking about it today as my doc left it up to me whether or not to increase my meds. He thought perhaps I could go another week and see if it lifted on its own. I decided to go ahead and increase because he doesn't really know EVERYTHING that is happening in my head and body and how I am suffering etc. I try to remind myself that managing the meds proactively is always better than going to the hospital. All of that isn't to convince you to take the meds. It is just to encourage you to do what you need to do for your own safety and well being and yes even happiness. Which you deserve!

Good for you for taking care of yourself!

Thanks, everyone. I find everyone's replies to be very encouraging. I've been going back and forth all day on whether or not I will actually take the Abilify. Now I think I will at least try it for the two weeks the doctor said. After all, I won't know what effect it has on me if I don't actually take it.

Sometimes the treatment can be worse than the problem. Weigh up if your life is really at risk before you give in to taking such strong medication. Your family is right to be concerned over medication like this. GPs are not as trained in mental health as a psychiatrist and even therapists should not be giving out diagnosis's like that. You really need to see a psychiatrist for the best treatment for yourself. Are you sure there are no triggers to your moods? Have you done any mood tracking? How is your diet and lifestyle? There is so much you need to ask yourself before turning to medication. Be cautious. Meds really can cause more problems for people who do not truly need them. Be absolutely honest with yourself before taking this step.

Your family is WRONG to tell you that you should not listen to your doctor. Get a second opinion if you need to but don't let your families judgment stop you from continuing to get help!

BE VERY CAREFUL! I was mislabeled as "an alcoholic" for years before the mental health professionals determined that my drinking was a desperate attempt to self-medicate against the symptoms of BP1. Now I don't drink at all, because I'm on psychotropic medications to control my symptoms. So, F___ AA and the idiots that preach their BS.

I'm sorry, outlaw sammy--I don't see anywhere I mentioned AA, or "their BS," as you put it. I am an alcoholic, and I brought it up because if I'd believed my family's analysis of my problem I'd be dead by now from drinking.

I'm also bipolar. I take medication in an effort to cope with the disorder. I am in AA--and some members or even chapters might argue that I'm not sober because I take these meds ... I'm guessing that's the BS you're referring to. All do not, however. I'm in AA, yes, but it's not a cult ... I work the program that keeps me sober. No one in AA controls me or makes choices for me.

I know there are many people in AA who think they have all the answers and will run roughshod over new comers, acting as if they know more than anyone else and turning AA into their personal vision. They can do a great deal of harm with their tunnel vision and need to control those in their group.

It's completely possible to get and stay sober without AA. There's a path that works for everyone, many paths that work for someone. Drinking isn't always a matter of self-medicating for some disease ... often it's quite simply addiction to alcohol. I didn't need "a reason" to drink to excess: The incentive was in my genes.

I agree with supanova that it would be best to go to a psychiatrist. It can be hard to find a good one that is a good fit but it is still better than a GP usually.

Also just wanted to put out there that two weeks on Abilify isn't very much as far as my experience has gone. I'm not sure how much info you will get from that. Abilify was my med and it didn't do anything for me and in fact was a very wrong med for me.

Which was my other point. That it can be easy to write off all meds after a bad experience with one me which is what I did. But there are other meds out there and you may find one that is just right for you.

But yes. It might be very helpful to go to a psychiatrist and get a real diagnosis. That will give you more peace with all of this. And maybe your family would be more on board in that case.

[QUOTE=roads;3741667]I'm sorry, outlaw sammy--I don't see anywhere I mentioned AA, or "their BS," as you put it. . . .

Actually, you didn't mention AA, but whenever I encounter a person who publicly claims to be "an alcoholic," I sense the AA poison is in operation. Tell me that I'm wrong. The part of adding the descriptive assessment of "their BS" is purely my opinion. If I hadn't undergone treatment with a very experienced and insightful therapist (M.A., CAC III), then I'd still be wasting my time listening to propaganda, myths, and fairly tales perpetrated by fools with severe brain damage and ulterior motives.