want to go off Zyprexa

Its gonna bea night in eating pb and j and watching loveboat

Nope. I was wrong. Mac n cheese n a hot dog n a huge glass of milk n loveboat. Carb overload.

Was right about loveboat though.

Saw my T today. (Every Monday.) I'm beginning to think its too often because I don't usually have anything to say. So today, she brings out all the old topics we've talked about. Talk about OUCH! Talked about the painful things from the last year. We talked about the homework for the dbt group and I had a hard time with this as this module is difficult for me. I was yawning. Something that she's noticed before. Truthfully, its probably because I'd only gotten up a half an hour before, but she thought I just hated being there. Then she started yawning because I was yawning. We got through the hour, but gosh, she even asked if I wanted to come on Friday because Monday she can't meet, and I said no that's okay because I knew it would be just like this week again. Should I hope for something bad to happen so I can talk about it in therapy? No! Right now, I'm trying to get the kids registered for school. That's my big project. I hope she doesn't decide we can't see each other. She didn't seem mad, so that's good. She just seemed like we had nothing to talk about. You'd think we would after everything I've posted here. But I'm seeing my pdoc to talk about going off zyprexa, not my T. She asked if I'm anxious or anything like that and i said no, but maybe I am? I'm not sure.

You know, one of the things the homework wants to know is what you want to do with your life. I was asked that question as a senior in high school and I had no idea, even though I was accepted to university as a music major. Boy I really messed that one up- i should've finished school, but my dad wouldn't pay for it anymore if I was living with my boyfriend -turned into husband.

Moose look back at this thread ... All of this is what your SHOULD be talking about in Therapy . You deal with Intrusive thoughts almost daily. Do you not tell her this stuff ??? Getting more stable requires You to be honest and disclose all the things you have no problems doing here on PC .. Maybe Print out this thread and take it to her?

Therapy is hard work if its not then your not really working on your problems .

I could try to print this thread and give it to her. Its mostly that she talks a lot, tries to ask me about old stuff. I feel okay in her office and then don't mention the stuff I post on here. Thank you for giving them a name: intrusive thoughts. Now I don't see her for two weeks, but I do see my pdoc to talk about my zyprexa in a week and a half, so I can mention some of this to her. Talking about symptoms and wanting to go off meds? Well maybe zyprexa isn't working too well? I feel so much better when I talk with a friend of mine and he says what a wonderful person he thinks I am. That warms my soul. I'm still taking showers. I have paper work to do for my kids' school. Must do this! Functioning this well at least. I tried to call psych ER the other day but I hung up. Afraid of being sent to the half-way house place I went last November. I hated it. I'd rather go to Psych hospital like I did last October when I was manic.

Oh boy. I feel ramped up. I can't be. I have to stay home. I have to register my son for school on Friday. I feel almost like I'm shivering. Internal vibrations.

I called PER. Nurse talked with me. She just said to come in if I feel worse. Take ativan if I need it. Internal restlessness sucks. But talking with someone was nice. I should text my friend. He will make me feel calm.

My friend didnt reply. Maybe he will tonight.