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  #1  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 06:59 PM
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My wife left abruptly and took the kids with her...without my consent.

It hurts that she left so suddenly, but I can live with it. What really hurts is that my kids are no longer living with me, and it wasn't my choice.

All I can do now is freeze my heart into a block of ice, so I don't feel too much pain. I can't afford a depressive episode right now.
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  #2  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 07:10 PM
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I am so sorry
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  #3  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 07:24 PM
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be strong, im pretty much in the same boat. when you are ready look at at the circumstances that led to this. you can try to piece together what went wrong. do not blame yourself or your partner. look objectively. to leave with the kids is a big hard decision so something is not working. when you can try and make sense of what is happening come up with a plan to talk to your partner when you are calm and collected. also make a plan of what to do if you become angry or sad when you two are talking how will you handle those emotions so they do not intrude into your conversation.
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  #4  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 10:25 PM
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Have you had any dialogue about a visitation schedule?
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  #5  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 10:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love&Toil View Post
Have you had any dialogue about a visitation schedule?
Yes, I am visting the kids. But they are little, one is 6, and one is only 18 months! I want them in my home everyday! My wife is living in a freinds house with our kids! She only just left on friday, and I think it was an irrational, emotional decision....she is not thinking clearly. Thanks for asking though.
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  #6  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 10:54 PM
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I was supposed to take my oldest daughter to an amusement park vacation this weekend, but my wife has brain-washed her into not wanting to go with me. I am giving her full custody and all my money. **** it. I am just a mentally ill loser. I'll just give up my kids and wife and everything. I don't deserve it.
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  #7  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 11:12 PM
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I am not going to kill myself. but if I die, I don't care. at all.
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  #8  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pawn78 View Post
I was supposed to take my oldest daughter to an amusement park vacation this weekend, but my wife has brain-washed her into not wanting to go with me. I am giving her full custody and all my money. **** it. I am just a mentally ill loser. I'll just give up my kids and wife and everything. I don't deserve it.
You are not a mentally ill loser and you do deserve your family. This is a really ****** difficult time right now. It sucks because things are so uncertain. You are really missing your little ones right now. I'm sorry your wife persuaded your 6 y.o. to miss the amusement park trip. How did she convince her not to go? I am asking because I am wondering if there is some emotional weirdness going on with your wife saying things to your daughter about you that she shouldn't be saying...
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  #9  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Love&Toil View Post
You are not a mentally ill loser and you do deserve your family. This is a really ****** difficult time right now. It sucks because things are so uncertain. You are really missing your little ones right now. I'm sorry your wife persuaded your 6 y.o. to miss the amusement park trip. How did she convince her not to go? I am asking because I am wondering if there is some emotional weirdness going on with your wife saying things to your daughter about you that she shouldn't be saying...
I don;t know. I am bipolar, I am a horrible person, and i must be a horrible parent. I am gving my tickets to my wife, she can take the kids. I am just a money machine.
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  #10  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 11:44 PM
newtothis31 newtothis31 is offline
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I'm going through a divorce now and it really sucks. When I was in the early stages of separation, it really aggravated my bipolar symptoms and led to me being hospitalized.

Did your ex provide you with a reason? Has she stated if she will file? Most states do have a preference towards 50/50 custody. I'd start to lawyer up. Also- goes without saying but I would get a new bank account and consult with an attorney before providing financial support to your ex.

Keep us posted! You may want to set up an appointment with your pdoc and see if adjustments can be made your medicine.

Keep us updated!
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  #11  
Old Aug 12, 2014, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtothis31 View Post
I'm going through a divorce now and it really sucks. When I was in the early stages of separation, it really aggravated my bipolar symptoms and led to me being hospitalized.

Did your ex provide you with a reason? Has she stated if she will file? Most states do have a preference towards 50/50 custody. I'd start to lawyer up. Also- goes without saying but I would get a new bank account and consult with an attorney before providing financial support to your ex.

Keep us posted! You may want to set up an appointment with your pdoc and see if adjustments can be made your medicine.

Keep us updated!

Thank you. I am extremely intelligent. I am practically a lawyer myself. I am separating bank accounts this week. I am drawing up a legal separation agreement also. I will give my wife full custody. I will pay child support and see them on a limted basis. I really am ****ed up, I am bipolar type 1, and my moods are outrageous. I don't deserve to be around my kids much. I guess I am bad temepered and ****ed up.

The only thing I am good at is making money and I am a genius and creative. So I can provide for my kids. Emotionally though, I might as well be dead. I will get a lawyer soon, a top one. Jusr like my pdoc, I only want the cream of the crop.
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  #12  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 12:09 AM
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There is reason my avatar is Anikan Skywalker/Darth Vader.

On one hand, I am amazing and gifted far beyond normal, like Anikan Skywalker.

On the other hand, I am evil, and my heart is encased in a steel machine, like Darth Vader.
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  #13  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 02:41 AM
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I cancelled the trip. The hotel and tickets are non-refundable. so I just burned $255. I told my wife to tell my little girl that I am very sad, and I am very sick, and I can't see her because I am too sick right now. (bipolar sucks)
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  #14  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 02:46 AM
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I am cutting my wife off. Closing all bank accounts, shutting down our cellphones, everything. She doesn't appreciate or car about the fact that I have supported her and the kids for 6 years, while she hasn't worked at all.
She is cut off, she can go live in a ****ing box for all I care.
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  #15  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 03:19 AM
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I'm really sorry to read about this. I know I don't know you, but my heart goes out to you during this extremely difficult time. I know there's nothing that can be said to make you feel better, but I wish the best for you out of this horrible situation. You're not alone on these forums, for what it's worth.
  #16  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 10:57 AM
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I'd really caution you to retain an attorney ASAP- particularly one with experience with mental health and custody issues. Make sure you get that cream of the crop- you are going through a major game changer right now.
Take care of yourself! I can tell from your other postings- you have a big heart with others- just not for yourself. Keep us posted on how you're feeling- there's a number of people here who can listen to you and help you get through this situation.
I'm also going through a support group- DivorceCares. It's at a local church so there is some religion sprinkled into it- but it may help you to be around people facing similar challenges.
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  #17  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 11:41 AM
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Dear pawn, I'm rather new here, but want to say how sorry I am about your situation. Please don't harden your heart! Your kids need your love for their whole life. My sister divorced her husband after 22 years of a dysfunctional marriage. Her two kids are now almost 40. The husband has worked hard to alienate their boys. But she still has a relationship to them. She loves them, and they love her. It's been rocky for all of them, but she has stuck by her sons. My sister and I have finally appreciated all our own parents did for us, after their deaths from old age. It would have helped if my parents had been open and willing to discuss parenting with me -- then I could have appreciated them more when they were alive. So that's my story, if it's any help. I just think hardening one's heart is very sad, and I hope you can love again.
  #18  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 01:13 PM
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Well, my wife finally came to her senses today, she realized it is cruel to use the little kids as an emotional weapon.
She is letting me take my daughter to the amusement park. She has warmed up a little. My heart has thawed a little.
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  #19  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 01:36 PM
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That's good news!!
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  #20  
Old Aug 13, 2014, 04:30 PM
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That IS good news! I agree to stay as close to your kids as you can. They do need a father.
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  #21  
Old Aug 14, 2014, 08:17 PM
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Hey everyone! I am at the amusement park with my daughter and we are having a blast!
My wife and I have even been behaving civilly and warmish to eachother. Even used the "L-word" on the phone tonight. My wife is staying at our house again, at least while I am out of town. I hope the warm and civil behavior continues between us, and she moves back in.
I know you guys are pulling for me! I am not religious, but you religious people on the forum can say a prayer for my marraige. All the support is greatly appreciated!
Thank you all.
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  #22  
Old Aug 14, 2014, 10:38 PM
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Got my fingers crossed for you!
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  #23  
Old Aug 15, 2014, 01:45 AM
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That's so awesome! Sending the positive vibes your way that things will keep on the upswing!
  #24  
Old Aug 15, 2014, 02:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pawn78 View Post
My wife left abruptly and took the kids with her...without my consent.

It hurts that she left so suddenly, but I can live with it. What really hurts is that my kids are no longer living with me, and it wasn't my choice.

All I can do now is freeze my heart into a block of ice, so I don't feel too much pain. I can't afford a depressive episode right now.
I didn't read through all the messages, but didn't you cheat on her and have a mistress?
  #25  
Old Aug 15, 2014, 05:56 AM
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I'm sorry that you are going through this pawn. I think your BP symptoms have greatly interfered with your marriage. You went through quite a bad hypo episode and really clouded your judgement as it does with all of us.

I was very concerned when you started posting about having a mistress and was worried that it might come to this. Perhaps you should seek marriage counceling as well as ramping your own personal counceling as well.

I can say from personal experience that hypo episodes can be a marriage killer. Due to extra marital affairs my marriage ended as well. I sympathize with you.

My thoughts are with you pawn
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