Memories and feeling 'broken'

I don't remember much of my past. And what little memories I have, I remember them like short movies - like I'm looking down from above, from the outside. I'm also feeling like I'm broken - my mind is slowly deteriorating. I'm not able to do things I used to - which is scary because my job depends on being able to understand and explain difficult and complex problems. I'm hoping my mind doesn't continue to deteriorate - but I am scared that it will only get worse. I'm hoping this may be because of drugs so I have an agreement with my pdocs to consider a service dog in an effort to reduce/discontinue meds.

Has anyone gone through this?

I have periods like this -- where I feel completely unable to cope with stuff...stuff I am normally good at becomes confusing and almost foreign seeming.

But they are fleeting.

Yes, I've felt the way you have. It does pass...try not to panic.

I know how that feels. There is so much I can't do anymore because of cognitive difficulties associated with the progression of my illness over the years I went untreated, and of course the meds don't help the brain-fade much.

However, the thing to remember is not to let what you can't do stop you from doing what you CAN do.

It took me over 2.5 months after I started taking my medication to even be able to drive by myself, so I sympathize. I remember looking at papers and realizing that I couldn't think as fast as I used to and instantly felt dumb.
I have that feeling to- where you're completely detached from your memories. Unfortunately, the longer you go without medication- the more damage it does long-term. Looking back, I think the illness developed when I was about 19/20- and I didn't get treated for it until I was 30.
I agree with Bipolar nurse- there are still a lot of things you can do- and things that you might not be able to do (for me it was driving) can actually be temporary.

I'm so glad to hear for some of you that it passed. I had the diagnosis of depression and it took 15 years before I got the correct diagnosis. My mind didn't start to rapidly decline until I started meds 3 years ago.

And unfortunately because of the nature of my job I can't afford this decline - scary.

I know that feeling. I was a nurse---well, I have a license that says I still am one, but I'm not practicing anymore because I just can't handle the stress. Constantly shifting priorities, multi-tasking, close attention to detail.....none of which I can manage now. I came close to making several critical mistakes toward the end of my last job, and that was it---I knew I couldn't hold peoples' lives in my hands any more.

Now I'm looking at possibly filing for disability because it doesn't look like I'm going to EVER be able to nurse again, and I have physical problems that make it difficult to do much of anything else. I have an interview Friday for a job as an intake coordinator for a children's psychiatric residential care facility, and I think I might be able to do that. I hope so anyway. It won't pay a fraction of what I made as a nurse, but the trade-off in lower stress levels may very well make it worth the pay cut.