Bipolar daily check in thread #7

Turtlesoup · Nov 09, 2014, 08:34 PM

Pretty good weekend, got some things done around the house, didn't get overwhelmed, paced myself fairly well-some anxiety though cause I go back to my pdoc for meds-am sure she is going to increase my Prozac but need to get her to focus on something for my mood swings. Remember to breathe breathe breathe

tigersassy · Nov 09, 2014, 09:48 PM

Trying to stay mindful. It's difficult. I'm so tired still...

Standup2me · Nov 09, 2014, 11:23 PM

I am on holidays all next week.
Usually Sunday nights are sheer h*ll, but tonight is good.

Love&Toil · Nov 10, 2014, 02:48 AM

The moodiness and depression of SAD are hitting hard right now.

Imah · Nov 10, 2014, 03:16 AM

Did well today, kind and helpful. Folded laundry, spot painted bedroom. Didn't binge. Kept track of progress. Took dog for walk.

Not feeling so good about myself though, kind of weird. Wanting to isolate from social media so i don't cause bad karma (not here) Oh, maybe its just the depression swing starting.

Its not that I did something bad then.

<3 thanks again for this thread!

Wander · Nov 10, 2014, 03:41 AM

Coming down from a hypomanic episode and I am utterly exhausted (I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue) and crying a lot. My PTSD is flaring up too which is bringing with it anxiety and panic. Not feeling good at all. I am scared I am falling back into a depression which would be awful as I only came out of a 6 month long depression a month ago (and went straight into a hypomanic state). I am scared. The PTSD can be really bad too.

tigersassy · Nov 10, 2014, 10:56 AM

I'm good so far today. I think I'm getting a normal sleep schedule for my body now. I'm not having to go into work until 7am compared to 5:30 and get off at 4pm. Maybe this will help. I've got an appt with Pdoc on Thursday. My birthday is on Friday. Going to finally get blood work done on Thursday. I haven't had the money go up and get it done or the time since I've got to fast. I'm looking forward to today. Its supposed too warm up. I haven't said that in a while. I'm looking forward to something. And if I have its not been true. Maybe everything is coming together... still need to be mindful live in the moment. Embrace what is going on right now and enjoy it. Now if only I could drown out the buzzing in my office. Little victories.

Love&Toil · Nov 10, 2014, 12:20 PM

Haven't been awake for very long today as I slept 13 hrs. So far okay. I need to up my meds. Appt with pdoc next Friday. Ugh I hate waiting. May just increase my prozac a bit myself until then. Trying to be productive today on my day off. Laundry, dishes, shopping. Come on girl, get up and at 'em. Low energy.

Polibeth · Nov 10, 2014, 12:43 PM

I had ECT treatment today because I was severely depressed. It seems to have thrown me into a hypomanic episode. I came home from the hospital and did the dishes, cleaned the cat box, did the laundry and vacuumed. I hope this lasts!

Standup2me · Nov 11, 2014, 12:19 AM

My birthday is tomorrow
I hate birthdays
Just make the world go away

lacerta · Nov 11, 2014, 05:53 AM

Got up with terrible headache. I had planned to work from home today, but can't do that. Painkiller doesn't work.

Pikku Myy · Nov 11, 2014, 08:33 AM

I am feeling more and more depressed

Hard time with motivation, anything now... just being me.

tigersassy · Nov 11, 2014, 09:19 AM

I'm doing ok still. I'm feeling better, yeah I still cry sometimes. Yeah I get the ruminating depressed thoughts, but not as often. My job is going smoother for now. I like my new schedule. Mindfulness is working I think. Meds are building up. I'm exercising more than I was. I'm asking for help when I need it. I hope this lasts.

Darvula · Nov 11, 2014, 09:44 AM

Don't feel good today. One of those days when I feel only 50% here and that 50% isn't my good half either. Had to go back to work after 2 days off. Felt depressed, weak, drained and exhausted. The people I work with are so much younger than me and at times, like today, I really struggle with being patient with them. They behave like little selfish kids, making a big fuss over trivial things like having a lunch break at 1 instead of 12 or having to use a computer mouse they don't like. Of god ******* help me! Just trying to stay patient with them is a real real challenge and I know I need to be more tolerant than I am, so I bite my lip and say nothing, but really I just want to switch off my laptop and go the **** home.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Darvula.

lacerta · Nov 11, 2014, 12:03 PM

Pushed myself to go for walk, felt real bad, came home, measured my temperature, got little fever.

Turtlesoup · Nov 11, 2014, 04:52 PM

Started Depakote last night so took that with my ambien & slept til 5ish-read for awhile & was actually able to go back to sleep which is a huge deal for me. Made breakfast & coffee & hung out with my husband & cat for awhile-vented some about my pdoc appt. which was humorously therapeutic-did exercises, brushed & flossed-feel good today.

Standup2me · Nov 11, 2014, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Standup2me

My birthday is tomorrow
I hate birthdays
Just make the world go away

To everyone who wished me a happy birthday, your caring
touched my heart so much

Thank you

Nov 11, 2014, 10:04 PM

Wrung out. Since last checking in, life has been surreal, and not in a good way. Physically, mentally (emotionally more than episode per se). Cannot believe all that has happened in such a short time. I'm actually going to bed now (7 pm! This is UNHEARD OF!) Hopefully, it'll just be a nap (though I really don't "do" naps -- I tend to go down for the count), because it would be nice to get some stuff done, but damn, I'm just SO exhausted!

onionknight · Nov 11, 2014, 10:41 PM

Mad at the world. I just got reported as a potential danger to myself. It's what I get for being open with people.

Hopeful Camel · Nov 12, 2014, 07:38 AM

The taper off of the meds is going well, all things considered. I've resigned myself to never having a full night's sleep. Rapid cycling through the past couple of weeks. Wearing myself out. First appointment with new therapist today. I feel vulnerable.

Darvula · Nov 12, 2014, 09:20 AM

A much better day today, thank f***. The people at work were just as hopeless as yesterday, but I was patient. At one point, I gave 15 minutes of advice to a colleague about her hemorrhoids. Yes, you read that correctly. Hemorrhoids. I'm managing to sleep a bit better, though I was woken up by awful acid indigestion in the small hours. Maybe due to stress. Anyway, better than yesterday. That's the main thing.

Pikku Myy · Nov 12, 2014, 01:01 PM

I am just depressed

can not get rid of this sad feeling again.. I feel super lonely. pity, pity, pity party here... need to figure out how to pep myself out of this?

Turtlesoup · Nov 12, 2014, 03:51 PM

Minimal sleep again

bleh-was pretty slow out of the starting gate today but did manage oatmeal & 2 loads of laundry. Forced myself to exercise which helped-my mood feels OK so that's always a huge plus-going to read some more in my book.