Help please

Hello everyone. I'm a 37 year old male and just realized something is very wrong. I''m your average guy, married with kids and a good job. Over the past year, something has been wrong. I was on Percocet for a back Injury and was on for years. I started to notice that I was enjoying them to much and started running out a week ahead of time for a refill. I would get horrible mood swings that we're effecting my marriage. I decided to stop taking them and have not had any in 2 months. While I was on them, I became very depressed as well due to my father passing away with cancer. I took it pretty hard. Now here is where things start. I have always had a hot head about myself, even when I was young. Not violent, just extremely irritable every once on a while. I went to speak to my doctor about being depressed and he put me on wellbutrin 300mg 1x a day. It helped. I felt great after a month. I've been on it for almost 6 months now and felt great. Now here is the problem. A few days ago, I was depressed. Nothing big, just normal life crap. I had to take a week off work to regroup. When I returned, I was brought in to be questioned about why I was off and what meds I was on. My job requires disclose of all meds to them. Anyways, I was in the office and I felt something was wrong inside. It was that old feeling of getting pissed off I used to get except I knew that I could keep it in check but the feeling was there. My employer said I was displaying bipolar symptoms and was everything ok? I never thought of bipolar before. I went home, took every one of those online bipolar screen tests and everyone of them said bipolar 1. I even retried to make sure the answers I said were the. Most honest and accurate. Today, it hit me. A feeling I have never experienced before. I called my employer and asked for a leave so I can get better. My employer denied my request. Then it happened. I started sweating up a storm, roasting hot, felt like my head was going to explode. I didn't feel happy or angry but the best I can explain it was turbo charged to the point of almost passing out. I was thinking irrational thought and my mind was racing a mile a minute. I kept deep breathing thinking it's nothing it it didn't stop. I went home, looked up the laws about my human rights in the work place and before I knew it, my rights were violated when I was denied time off. Next thing I know I'm on the phone with my union stating that I wanted to sue my employer and then my rep stated that I had a case if I really wanted to go through with it. I said yes. Next thing I know, I'm on the phone to my boss telling them I'm during them for discriminatiom. My employer was caught off guard. He tried to explain his side but I wasn't having it. This whole time, my mind is in turbo, acting on instinct alone. I yelled at my boss, and said I'll see them in court and hung up. I spent hours after that researching everything on this matter and then I started feeling sick. I was trembling. I laid down for an hour to some relaxing music and just deep breathe and relax myself. When i got up, I started to cry. I realized what I had done with my job and now I feel horrible. I knew it seemed right at the time bit I know I was way out of control. I was acting on autopilot it seemed. Please...help. I have never experienced a feeling like before it all though it wasn't scary or violent, it was something i did overly enjoy it to say the least. I have never done hard drugs before but of how they show cocaine on tv and movies and now it effects you, I'd say to sum up,how,I felt was that I dunked my head in a pile of coke and took a few shots of speed with that. Can anyone tell me if this would be a manic episode? Please help.

In my humble opinion, I'd make an appointment with a psychiatrist & therapist immediately. Sounds like, you do have major anger issues. I wouldn't allow others to diagnose me or self diagnose myself. I'd definitely take some of psychcentral's online tests & share the results with a professional. I would share your potential change of heart to your union rep & have him represent you in finding a resolution. That's just me. *big warm friendship hugs* Definitely keep posting & sharing your thoughts. There are alot of wonderful experienced people here to help you.

The first indication for me that I was bipolar and not "just" depressed was the anger and irritability I would feel. Almost immediately after going on a mood stabilizer the anger went away. I agree that making an appointment with a psychiatrist and therapist as soon as you can would be your best move. Hopefully you will feel better soon! Best of luck!

Yeppers. I know people who are on here regularly probably get tired of me posting about it, but I call it "euphoric rage" and that's the form of mania I have. I don't have the happy rainbow type of mania.

You should get help, because my mania escalated to physical violence before I got help. But in the beginning it was just words. It was just words until one day I discovered what a wonderful rush it is to put your hands on someone when you have all of that powerful energy surging through your system.

And jobs? I've blown through more jobs than I can count, mainly due to my temper and my quick impulse to suddenly quit. I'm basically self-employed because no one will hire me with the references I have. I'm also bankrupt because it's hard to pay bills without a steady income.

So yeah, take my advice and get help.

First off unless your Boss has and "MD" after his name he has no right to consider a diagnosis.. That kinda stuff just annoys the hell out of me.

I think you need to see a Pdoc and get in with a Therapist as soon as possible. Only a Pdoc can diagnose you and begin a treatment plan that can settle your life down. Some people with Bipolar (myself) just cant take a AD with out it flipping us into Mania. It's pretty common.

I hope that the union can help you resolve your problems at your job and make your re entry smoothly.

Meanwhile start working on learning coping skills to help you manage your moods. Meditation, Mindfulness, Breathing exercises, Cardio exercises.

Welcome to PC

This may sound harsh, please forgive me if it does. Sometimes when people read symptoms or dx information they start to formulate that behavior and act as if they are what they read. I think there is a term for that, but forgive me I don't recall it. I am not trying to say you are or you are not bi polar, but I agree with Christina. Have the doc check and be careful you do not create symptoms that are not truly there. I know my symptoms started with anger, depression, days of feeling up. It dawned on me after numerous ppl suggested I go top doc and it was there where I was given dx of borderline, bi polar. Still struggle with borderline dx, but definitely have to admit the bi polar. Sorry you reacted so quickly. Hope all works out well. Again, please don't take this the wrong way. Just my thoughts.

My input is that Wellbutrin took me on one hell of a ride. I started it to quit smoking. I started talking about nonsense and was unable to stop. I would be up all night cleaning something, and once I did get myself into bed, I was so sensitive to my skin being touched by the blankets I scratched almost all the skin off my thighs. I was denying my diagnosis at the time and wasn't on other meds. I was also super reactive, overly defensive if anyone asked me something I didn't want to answer. And I cried at a lot of commercials. Same deal with Chantix. Never again.

Ontario Guy I hope your union supports you well through this process. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Sorry you're having such a bad time. I agree with the others who said you really need to see a pdoc to get a diagnosis, and that your boss is not qualified at all to do so.

I noticed one thing I wanted to mention: you said you took a week off to deal with a normal depression, "nothing big, just normal life crap." Feeling so bad that you need a week off is not normal at all. I'm not trying to make you feel worse. Just wanted you to realize that is not normal.

I hope you'll talk to a doctor soon and tell them everything you told us.

Hang in there.

What you just described is 100% me. I'm not a bad person. I have had 1 violent episode which is not like me at all. I work in health care field for brain injured clients, go figure, lol. I've been through 7 jobs in 5 years.mi always end up blowing up at work and telling the boss where to go and usually make a scene before they fire me. I started on wellbutrin 300mg and 2mg Ativan when needed. They have been working great for a few months but just the other day is when the worst outburst ever happened. I've been some what depressed for a few weeks and then it hit me over something stupid but it hit hard. I could feel my pulse race, I started sweating, yelling, stuttering, threatening my boss verbally, blood pressure through the roof, shacking in the hands and then about 20 minutes later, I crashed and started almost crying and saying sorry cause what seemed correct at the time of my episode, really was he dumbest thing I could of ever done. Thank god my employer had sympathy and understood I was having a problem and let me take a 6-8 week short term disibility leave till I see a psychiatric doctor to see what he says. My family doc signed me off due to extreme mental stress and manic episodes but he said the psychiatric doc may want me off longer.