[bailey33]

Well I am new to this forum and new to bipolar. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as being bp on Wednesday but I am not convinced. I have suffered with depression for more than 10 years. I have isolated myself from all friends and family. Some days I feel like I am just existing not living. Other days I feel on top of the world and can't wait to get going. Most days I just hate the world and everyone in it. I believe people are lying to me, stealing from me, pretending to like me. My husband tells me I'm beautiful, that he loves me....I don't believe him. Is he having an affair? I feel like I am inadequate as a mother...I don't do enough for my children. This is hard just writing this....everyone will judge me....won't they??? I have so many projects I have started with enthusiasm but are now left unfinished. I started a bachelor degree in psychology in 2004...best year yet....completed 6 subjects....attained high distinctions in all subjects. Then 2005 only managed to complete 1 subject...then dropped out after 11 weeks into second semester. Some days I feel slow and unmotivated. Other days I feel energetic and motivated....I get stuck on a project...nothing else matters...dont have time to eat...my husband tells me I'm obsessed. I email all my friends but then I get depressed again and dont answer their replys. I drink to slow down. I have been depressed for more than 12 weeks this time...nothing interests me at all...can't eat, can't sleep...have to force myself to do the basic chores. Have been off all meds since 2004. Dr prescribed me efexor-xr, sodium valproate and seroquel on Tuesday. I took one efexor yesterday morning and by lunch time I felt jittery, anxious, tingly, sweaty and nauseous....all of a sudden I felt energetic...can't stand still...my mind is racing...finding it hard to listen to people talk for all the "noise" in my head. I feel very aware of my thoughts and myself physically but very unaware of my external surroundings...does that make sense? Is this normal to have such an instantaneous reaction to efexor??? Is this just a side affect of the drug or am I having a manic episode? I havnt taken any sodium valproate as I am not convinced that I am bp. What is the difference between feeling normal and feeling manic???? Thanks for taking the time to read my rantings.

well, you sound manic and depressed to me.......i took effexor for awhile and it actually helped me, at first, with my anxiety. i had to quit it because i lost a lot of weight while on it......

i don't know anything about the other drug but i do know that seroquel is useful for sleeping.......keep posting.....you are in the right place.......pat

[Meta]

Hi bailey,

What's hypomania and what's "normal" appears to be the $64, 000 question. I had always resisted the bipolar label because I thought well I don't have these outrageous spending sprees and I don't suddenly have urges to start going out to bars and picking up a different man every night.

But I do go from top of the world one day to hating the world the next day or maybe two days later. I would go calling everybody I know and then by the time they call back, I don't want to speak to ANYONE. Things like you describe. If that's bipolar then I have it.

I just started on lamictal to try and stabilize my moods--I think if it works, I will buy the diagnosis once and for all.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you good luck.

Meta

[Pughead]

It definitely sounds like you have some variation of BP. I don't believe that you need to exactly fit the DSM criteria to have BP.

I go from significant depression to hypo-mania; and the hypo-mania doesn't last long...and I crash shortly after it ends.

This site has some good info on BP diagnosis, and Dr. Phelps explains a lot about the Bi-Polar spectrum.

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/frameset.html

Welcome to PC, and give the meds some time to work and your body to adjust to them.

[bailey33]

Thanks for the link to that website. It really is very informative and answers a lot of questions my psychiatrist couldn't / wouldn't. I definately have had hypomanic episodes and always crash big time shortly after. The depression is always worse after because that excited, motivated, energetic feeling has gone....

[undertheradar]

Hi Bailey,

You described me to a T! I just got DXed in December and am on the rollercoaster of denial. One day I agree with the DX, and the next I don't. I too am having trouble figuring out what is manic and what is normal, but it is getting a little easier to tell the difference. I am on my 3rd round of drug combinations and am extremely frustrated. I started on Lithium and Seroquel, well I got toxic amounts of lithium and had to quit that. Then my pdoc put me on depakote, lexapro and the seroquel (whicH) I am still taking by the way). I got the dreaded "rash" on depakote and she took me off of that and lexapro, because the lex was making me more manic. So NOW, I am on lamictal and 400 seroquel, we will see. So, you may have to be patient, which is almost impossble for me!! Keep coming back here and remember, no one here will "judge" you. You are one of us!! Take care and good luck.

Michelle

[atmywitsend]

Hello, I'm a new member and a mother to a bipolor child. She is 16 and we are still in the process of finding the right medication. She is on Abilify, Topamax, Zoloft and she was just weaned off Lamictal. She does have a prescription for seraquel - but hasn't needed it for a while.
My reason for replying is because I want her to join this community so that she can ask questions and see that she ISN"T the only person who is going through this. I want her to know that she does have a future and hopefully, one day, we will find the right meds for her. She wants to drink to take care of her problems, she wants to die so that she won't hurt anymore - she feels that there is no hope for her. I see that you are married and with a family - will that be in HER future, I hope so - (I think).If you still haven't found the answers, will she? Just asking - just hoping for SOMETHING positive. (from anyone)

[bipolar_bear]

I am so sorry that you are having such intense moods and swings. Have you considered taking your meds regularly? So many of them take a while to take effect and when the symptoms arise it is a while before you get stabalized. It is so easy to get into projects when manic. And leave them by the wayside when depressed. If you do not think your pdoc is correct about your dx how about a second opinion? I hope you get things sorted out soon. Take care.

[bailey33]

Thanks for the replys and support. I am going to see my pdoc on Friday. Last Monday I completely lost it and beat into my husband, threw his phone down the toilet and broke things...I have never hit anyone in my entire life. I felt like I was out of control. He called the police, his family and my family...I feel so emabarraced and ashamed. I stopped taking all meds immediately....could this violent behaviour be a side effect from the seroquel or effexor??? or am I just screwed up?? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

[june30]

Yikes! You need to talk to your doctor. Certain anti-depressants, mainly the type called SSRIs, (Selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors) when given to a BP person will send them straight into mania! I don't know much about efexor but I'd check it out.

I was put on an anti-depressent before I was diagnosed BP, and I was absolutely nuts! There are anti-depressants that will work with BP (wellbutrin is one) but do your research.

So sorry about the episode. I know when that happens you just think, who is this person in my body making such a huge scene? But you'll get through it... hang on to your confidence.

[bizi]

I agree,
the antidepressant can throw you into a mania, but also being very frustrated can cause these same reactions. WE are allowed to get angry...learning how to verbalise our anger and express our feelings to very hard to do if you have never been able to do this before.
A good therapist can also help you.
I am one to believe that we can't take normal anti depressants until our moods are stabilized it can and will throw me into a mania.
I am sorry that this is so hard ...
Hang in there things will get better for you.
Fall down 7 times get up 8....
(((HUGS)))
bizi

bailey 33, I had such similar symptoms that you described & was dxed with bp abut 6 years ago. I also went kinda nuts when my family doc put me on Prozac. Within hours I felt such rushes of euphoria & incredible self esteem, etc. I just thought the Prozac was working & I thought, wow, this is great. But it ended up being a mania & then after a few weeks I slipped back into the deep depression. I think the Effexor could have put you into a hypo mania--the symptoms you described sounds like it to me. Mania can also cause extreme rage & drastic behaviors.

I have a friend who gets into such rages that she scares herself. She locks herself up in the house with the curtains drawn so she doesn't have a chance to attack someone.

I'm doing better after a year of trial & error to find the right meds for me, but even with the meds I had a relapse into a deep depression after 5 years of being stable. I had been hypo manic for about 5 mos. & didn't tell my pdoc cuz it felt SO GOOD. But then my husband made a hurtful comment to me & I swung into a depression & ODed.

I'm hopeful I can get back on an even keel again. The pdoc is messing with my meds a little--basically changing the dosages & adding some to help me sleep & combat anxiety.

Are you going to therapy? Therapy with medication is supposed to have the best results for bp. Good luck & keep us informed about how you are doing.--Suzy

P.S. My mother had bp & I had to call the police on her several times when she started beating up my brother . Bp can cause some very dangerous behaviors so you need to get it treated right away.