I miss being manic.

Okay so today I realised among a sea of reasons I wanna come off meds because I really miss being manic. I don't miss the aggression or the crazy rage. But I miss feel good immortal! Like nothing could touch or hurt me like I was everything. God I even miss the delusions of grander.

I'm quite balanced at the moment I still get lows but not suicidal anymore, I still self harm and feel very lonely a lot of the time but I'm okay on meds. I just really miss flying.

Hope you can recall the really down side of that high. I love the high and the feeling. Not so thrilled with the opposite though. I hope that you realize that the medication is preventing other negative effects. It sounds like justification and possible minimization going on. Could be completely off. Hope you are okay

Hi, TheMadHattersMuse, and welcome! I can understand wanting to have those feelings. But remember that there are bad consequences such as taking on too much, etc.! I will hope you will level out at a bit higher level, though.

I miss the good feelings of hypomania, but i am scared of the financial consequences. Last hm i almost committed to a fancy renovation which may have bankrupted me and left my dog and i homeless. The good feelings are not worth becoming destitute again. Other hms i have tried to start relationships only to wind up rejected and that's another sort of fresh hell.

It's not worth it. The crazy hours, insomnia, waking at 4am ready to start my day -- it's nonsense. As painful as the depression is, at least it's manageable.

I thought I did till I got my wish this week. Not worth it. I just want to be normally level.

I can relate. I didn't get aggression or rage but I was off the wall happy and had grander. Nothing bothered me I'm invincible. I only get lows now. It sucks. The meds stop rhe manic

I know the feeling. I miss my hypomania.....not the full-blown mania which turns nasty on me, but the feeling of flying high, being able to do all sorts of things, seeing all the beauty in the world, etc. The meds have tamped down all that, and now I only experience depression when I become unstable. That sucks, even though it's easier on everyone around me than when I get manic and don't listen to anybody.

I've been medicated for 8 years and and didn't experience my first mania until a month or so ago. It got very energetic and productive and remodeled my kitchen. Then the rage set in. The mixed emotions and the energetic destructive feelings were awful. I would love to have the energy back, but I'd rather not be evil.

How is still self harm and feel very lonely a lot of the time okay on meds? If your depressed just not suicidal on meds that's not okay, either. Other then nostalgia and being comfy what are your other reasons for wanting off meds? I think your nostalgia is coming from a depressed spot.

Being high is wonderful, scary and disastrous.

I understand how feeling lonely and self-harming can be OK. I am on meds and still cycle from that to a bit of hypomania.

I thinK for some of us, we don't get more stable than this. ?

Having bouts of depression for months on end while on medication is a living nightmare from which there seems no end. Anyone feeling like that would naturally want the opposite. I know that feeling. My last manic episode was 18 months ago, i was happy, confident, full of energy and generally loved being alive. I wasn't so high as to require hospitalization, but did make some really really bad decisions. Since then I have very much swung into a depressive low, and have been switching meds trying to climb out. I want what I consider "me" back.....that confident happy go lucky person I associate with mania. I hate being medicated for depression but at the same time being medicated to ensure I don't go high...it just doesn't seem fair.

But the mania is not worth the cost and it doesn't last. Especially if your not on any medication. My experience with bipolar is you just cannot maintain a stable mania. Nor is it in anyones long term interests. When you weigh up the positives vs negatives of mania. ...med induced "normal" us the best goal to strive for.

But one can dream....and if I could choose my dreams, I know who I would like to be..........

Thanks for everyone who's replied it's nice to have people I can tell about stuff like this with out fear of getting sectioned or people worry I've stopped taking my meds.

Lonely is just part of me the drugs don't fix that and I dout they ever will so I don't link it to meds not working or not being okay. The self harm has become a reflex over the last twelve years and I can't help but think even if they came up with a cure I would still do it occasionally.

Some of the other reason are weight gain I hate the way I look, my room has no mirrors but I can't get rid of the bathroom one without my dad getting upset. Another is I hate having to medicate myself to be whatever normal is meant to be.

I wasn't on meds during my first manic episode and when I came down it was horrible. Now I get some stables moods and a lot of mixed moods. Only semi-horrible.