Bipolar, lack of motivation, housecleaning and clutter

Hi. I have BP2 and ADD (no H but I often wish I did). I also have a serious problem with a lack of motivation to do anything...most importantly cleaning my home. I have a serious problem with clutter. And I can't seem to get to a point where I feel the need to keep it tidy. I don't live in filth. My home isn't dirty per se. It just comes down to clutter. And never wanting to pick up after myself or my daughter. It's embarrassing. It's mortifying when someone comes to the door that I am not expecting. That happened tonight. After they saw the horrible mess and clutter in my living room, I spent the rest of the night crying over it.

I just want to take pride in my home again. I used to have that feeling. I used to always keep a very nice, clean and tidy home. I want to care again. It makes me feel like a failure and beyond horrible that my daughter lives in mom's clutter and messiness. I just don't have that motivation anymore, and I am desperate for it back. I want to love my home again.

I've bought books. I've watched youtube videos. I've read blogs. All about how to clear the clutter and make daily chores to keep on top of everything. I can never get anywhere with it all. It is all so overwhelming.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any tips or insight into this specific problem?

*********
BP2
ADD
Meds = Seroquel, Lithium and Lamictal

Bipolar, lack of motivation, housecleaning and clutter - I have all of that. I was searching for help for my procrastination when I found this site. There are several of us here with problem clutter.

First of all, welcome to PC I hope that you find this place to be helpful, and a great resource and tool, as I know many of us are.

As for the clutter issue, the only thing I can really say is to try your hardest not to get too down on yourself about it. Especially when it comes to worrying about the judgement of others. I know that can be especially difficult, but we ALL have something (or many things) that we struggle with. It's important to be gentle with yourself.

Maybe just start with a small area of your home? Like, let's say even just one piece of furniture. Make a goal to go through all the stuff on like, a bookshelf, and then just make it a habit to maintain that one spot. You don't even have to worry about the rest of the room, let alone the house. And once you feel like it is manageable, and even easy just to take care of a bookshelf, maybe start with another small area.

It might take time; a LOT of time, and that is okay. It's perfectly okay. It's just important to establish the habit. And hopefully as you de-clutter, you will gain more confidence in yourself and it won't weigh on your heart as much as it is right now. Once you see your home slowly starting to come together, hopefully some of the motivation to keep it this warm and happy and inviting place will also return.

I've found a lot of these books and youtube videos and such often ask TOO MUCH all at once, so it's no wonder that it can be overwhelming, especially while trying to balance mental illness along with it. Just start with little baby steps.

Wishing you all the best! Just start small, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Can anyone relate? Yes.

Does anyone have any tips or insight into this specific problem?

I pretty much threw out everything when I moved. So now we have 2 sets of dishes for each of us, a 4 pot/pan set, 5 pc baking set and that's it for dishes. I brought our computers, desks for entertainment and bed/draws and seating.

My son kept his game system, games and out door toys but that's about it. Even staying very minimal we have issues with cleaning.

We happen to have 3 n 1 shower gel so our tub looks tidy. All over our house we have clorox wipes. The last one to bed wipes down the sink, toilet seat bowl and throws it in the trash (and scrubs their hands). It takes less then 2 min.

We've given up on sorting cloths before sticking them in the laundry first one to leave the bedroom throws the cloths in the wash. When it's full you throw a pod in and start. Whoever turns of the kitchen light moves the cloths to the dryer and gets the kitchen night clean up. Drop in guests are usually not welcomed.

You've been given some good advice.

My closest friend has issues with clutter and things just lying around the house. The only time she will put stuff away (throw them in cupboards) is once a year when her landlord comes for an inspection. And she will get her mom to mow her lawn.

Nobody is allowed at her house. Ever. If I see her it always has to be at my place. If her son wants to visit a friend it can't be at her place it must be at theirs.

I'm pretty sure we've all been in a situation when an unexpected guest has suddenly popped by and we think omg why now! I know I have been caught of guard.

Think about where this is leaving you in the long term and then ask yourself if you're willing to make small, one step at a time, basic suggestions given to you?

Be well.

My house is not too bad, but my mum's place used to be terrible. It looked like someone had ransacked it. That was while she wasn't correctly medicated. (She was on Valium for 17 years for what they said was "nerves", but they later decided it was schizophrenia, though I think she is actually bipolar the same as me). Anyway, when they finally gave her the schizophrenia diagnosis and put her on anti-psychotics, she changed from being an absolute slob to fanatical about cleanliness. Not sure if you would want that or a change in medication; just saying that for my mother it was the medication which sorted out her dirty house. She still hoards things like crazy, though, just that now it's all done very neatly. She has drawers and cupboards packed full of useless crap she'll never use, but can't bear to throw away.

Darvula

Yes, this is me for sure. Its always when the house is at its worst, your unexpected visitors arive. I think to myself, theyre here to see me not my house, dont stress over it, people close to you understand..

I also have bp2 and adhd. Since being medicated the h has gone away. Anyways I've always struggled with keeping a tidy home. Esp the mail and bills that would pile up on my dining room table. Clean clothes piled on my bedroom floor cause I couldn't muster the energy to put them away...people here have given some really good advice. I agree with starting at just ONE area of yr house. Get it under control. Then start with another area. Be easy on yrself about it too...don't put yrself down about it either. Take one moment at a time just like one day at a time. I recently got a hold of my clutter. I did have my bf help tho. Sounds like you could benefit from an add medication. I take adderall and it helps me so much. Ask yr pdoc about it. Not that meds are the only answer but If you have extreme add meds can help you tremendously! Good luck hunny. Welcome to pc. You are needed and loved

I have Bp and ADHD, for me looking at the clutter around the house is overwhelming. The gf would often tell me to clean the living room and I'd shut down because I didn't know where to start or what to do. My therapist says it's part of the ADHD and has taught me to attack it a little at a time. My goal at the moment is to attack one box, one bag, or one pile daily and eventually it will add up. I had gotten to three bags/boxes a day but I recently had a set back and am again starting over at one bag/box.

I am a 50 yr old bipolar male and I have trouble cleaning the house. Clutter is not and issue I pick up after my myself and my girls 9 & 13 but when it comes to cleaning the house I just can't get into it. I don't work outside the home, my wife is a very sucessful career women also stressful and the house cleaning falls on me. When I worked we had a cleaning lady but since I stopped working my wife feels I should clean. She doesn't like the way I do it, she thinks I don't get enough clean. But I just canted get the motive to do it. Any help? If you can't tell I'm new here.

I had a horrible issue with this. Horrible beyond belief. I have completely conquered the clutter and I got into a cooking routine, but I cannot conquer cleaning yet. The trouble is that I do not have skills for heavy duty cleaning - if all there is to do is to wipe an almost clean counter with nice lavender-smelling vinegar solution, then sure. But if I do not keep on top of it and now the kitchen floor and the counters are so dirty, with caked on, almost baked on dirt, that I need heavy duty cleaning. I was going to post about it, asking for help. Maybe the situation in my apartment is so bad that I need chlorine bleach solution - I do not know.

If you have a budget for home organization, I can post links to pretty neat stuff that got me out of the funk (neat products for containing clutter). I have not read any books to conquer clutter, but I did buy helpful products and tools.

About the books - many years ago I checked out a book about organizing housekeeping from our local public library.

The book was interesting, but... I misplaced it somewhere in the apartment and ended up paying fines for being overdue with a BOOK THAT WAS INTENDED TO KEEP ME NEAT AND ON SCHEDULE LOL!

So I do not trust books anymore, but I trust useful tools and products to help me do the job and will be happy to share.

Once again, my case was extreme. The embarrassment, the limits on social life from being unable to invite people over, and in the past the constant nagging of the then H and his mom - oh my. But I got over it - I just need to learn to clean.

This is how well organized the place is now.

And this is how incredibly dirty it is - the floor and the counters.

I am just illustrating the point that decluttering/organizing and cleaning/maintaining are two distinct skills. I would say go for decluttering first for your own sanity. Cleaning would come next, I hope. At least this is how it made sense to me.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...s-my-life.html

this is about decluttering. Not much on cleaning YET, but hopefully in the near future there will be.

thank you all so much. it is overwhelming and i know i shouldn't beat myself up over it or be so ashamed, etc...but i am. i am what i am, but am hoping to improve upon what i am.
hamster, i would love those links to products that have helped you.

If you have ADD, get aderall from your doc. Your house will be spotless in a day & you'll have more modivation then you know what to do with

I looked at ADD and am not sure that I would fit - I can do very boring, repetitive, mundane tasks requiring attention over and over again without losing focus and without compromising quality as long as they are on the computer. And my memory of things that I read - in books or on the computer - is close to perfect. But in the physical world - cleaning, where are my keys? where did I park my car? etc. - I am having trouble. With the keys no more trouble because I have a hook for the keys on my front door now and I finally learned to hang my keys on it first thing when I get home.

I think it is a matter of developing a skillset (hence, questions for Christina!!) and not motivation. Right now, I would not know how to get the house to the spotless stage because I simply do not have the skills and do not know the processes - if you give me all the motivation in the world, I would not know where to start. The oven? Counters? Vacuuming? I do realize that you go from top to bottom - so floors come after counters - but that is the extent of what I know. If I learn how to do something and find out how frequently this needs to be done, I do it - no motivation issues - but I need to know exactly what to do and when to do it. Say, I learned how to disinfect cat litter boxes and I do it, but I needed to learn how to do it, how to prepare the bleach solution (1:32), how long to soak, etc. When I learned and started doing it, I got satisfaction from knowing that I was doing something hygienically important, and the satisfaction motivates me to stay on track. So I think that is not that much motivation, but simply learning the skills and the howto. My mother had no skills whatsoever, and I am more "advanced" than she was because at least I learned to cook.

But thank you for the idea - I will go see the pdoc in Dec and run those thoughts by her and see what she has to say about adding Aderral.

There is an alternative to Aderral though...

Hiring cleaners. But I cannot afford them now, so - off to Walmart for the degreaser.

thank you so much bi girl and hamster. medication could be an option. i have never been on meds for add. doc has always said he did not want to start an add med until my other meds were figured out and my moods have stabilized. i have been on my current regime for over a year now, so i feel good about possibly trying adderall for maybe a month to see what happens. i just get so nervous messing with my meds when things are going well for the most part.

but i have ZERO attention span, can only dream of doing repetitive tasks, easily distracted and i get bored very easy, and my memory is the worst ever.

there is quite a difference between adhd and adhd-inattentive. i unfortunately have the latter. i would love to feel a little hyperactive! i do not think i have ever had that feeling in my life.

as far as skillset. i definitely have the skillset...for both cleaning and organizing. i know how to do it all, without question. and do it well. it absolutely comes down to motivation for me. i just don't WANT to do it. and i already know i will shift from task to task without getting much accomplished at all. it will become worse than before i started...then i will get discouraged and just stop because i feel overwhelmed. so then at that point i am now living amongst even more clutter.

i am not sure what happened. i used to be sooo good at cleaning and organizing. i suppose the add has just gotten worse as i have gotten older? hmm....

i will see my doc in about a months time, so i will let you know if i decide to try adderall etc.

hamster, can you come to georgia and help me organize?

Oh, Georgia! That would be fun! I only had layovers at the Atlanta airport and once had a really tasty meal there with Southern greens. I tried cooking them myself (collards?) but got nowhere. I guess I do not know the secret recipe. So yes, would love to, as soon as I get some $$!

In the meantime, wrt products, tell me which area you would like to conquer first and I will post links. Pantry, entrance area, etc. Something small enough as not to be overwhelming.