[HolisticGal]

Can I ask you what's the most difficult for you while trying to maintain your sanity, health and your job?

Mine is the extreme sleep deprivation firstly as I'm not able to turn off until 2 or 3am (and some industries start the day at 8am or 9am). I find the lack of sleep day in and day out to be a living hell more than my episodes.

Or is it for you having to fake being normal?

[Justugh]

odds the not turning off is the drugs they have u on......one of the side effects of a class of them is u basically turn into a vampire life style it messes with your sleep patterns

ideally if u can working in another timezone is the best choice that way u can do what u have to get your sleep and still do everything in working world (telecommuting)

the other choice is to set up a night time routine ....combine this with meds from the doctors to knock u out and get u to sleep once u lay down ......i personally like to stay up for 32/48 hours before i try to reset my hours .......Sleeping Tips & Tricks - National Sleep Foundation

as for the hypo if u use it effectively and keep someone around u at all times to keep u in check then it is not to bad of a tool ............it is when u are by yourself and decide to buy something or do something or go somewhere is when u get in deep troubles

[HolisticGal]

Hey Just - thanks so much on the helpful info. Sorry I forgot to mention I was not on any meds (other than 10 cups of coffee per day). I was only recently diagnosed but have always been a night owl ("Delayed Sleep Phase" syndrome) like my Dad, which I realize now is tied in with us being bipolar.

And yes, the hypo comes on especially when I'm sleep deprived, much to my benefit actually in completing tasks at work and solving complex problems. So that's the positive.

[Crazy Hitch]

Meds that make me dopey and unable to concentrate on anything for very long and feeling like I'm about to fall asleep at lunch time .... Yuck!

[Justugh]

coffee is bad ......try tea the different blends will have different reactions on u ( red rose iced tea is what i go for)

ohhh u just got it then here
Finding the Treatment Options that Suck Less | The Good, the Bad & the Funny of these Crazy Meds
what ever they offer u check on this site to see what the reported side effects are ......u a fresh so u have a chance to look at them and tell them hell no i want something else

as for sleep try seroquil ..........ask the doctor for 100 mg pills and u can break them into half then into quarters ......take that and u will be out sleeping with in 45 mins of taken it and being comfy in bed............down side of them first 2 hours u are awake in haze and if u take them and stay awake the devil can do a tap dance on your balls and u will not care .....great for anger but u lose most functions including higher thinking ....slows my mind to a 1 thought every few mins

[Curious651]

Coffee would do it. I have to avoid coffee and caffeine so I do not become whacked out. To answer you initial question, it would be the faking normal that gets to me.

[HolisticGal]

The coffee was due the massive sleep debt due to 12 hour days but I guess it was a vicious cycle.

The faking is quite stressful.

[pink&grey]

Mine is tolerating other people and how slow they seem when I'm hypo-manic. I get so damn irritated.

[Wander]

Depressed and mixed episodes are the worst when trying to work. Depressed is like walking through molasses and mixed is pure hell as my mind is racing and I'm so irritable and wild eyed it is difficult to appear normal.

[HolisticGal]

Pink - I'm right there with you on that girl!!! What took me one evening to solve, took THREE staff over a month to figure out and two of those were superior to me. Even the types of questions they asked clued me in on each of their skill levels.

[lacerta]

Originally Posted by pink&grey

Mine is tolerating other people and how slow they seem when I'm hypo-manic. I get so damn irritated.

I have a co-worker who is schizophrenic and very slow. When I'm hypo he basically doesn't understand a word I'm saying, so I have to e-mail to keep off explosion.

[lacerta]

For keeping the job - I'm managing through depressive part, using all my coping skills. But when it comes to hypo, I'm often afraid I'll be fired, because I keep going away from office, surfing internet on working hours, doing something else than work etc. But often I do a lots of work, so it balances a bit.

[HolisticGal]

Originally Posted by Wander

Depressed and mixed episodes are the worst when trying to work. Depressed is like walking through molasses and mixed is pure hell as my mind is racing and I'm so irritable and wild eyed it is difficult to appear normal.

Oh the wild eyes! If only there was another one at work to not feel so alone.

[newlifeyeah]

the worst part is, that I can't hold a job. because I get super-exhausted when I'm "depressed". It's not even the mood, it's my body's energy levels get so low, that I can't do anything else, just stay in bed all day for months. Is this ever gonna get better? or only worse?

[BipolaRNurse]

For me it was having to deal with overstimulation---ringing phones, too many people in my office, and constant interruptions. I don't do well with that. I need quiet and solitude to accomplish what I need to do. I also can't handle rapidly changing priorities, because I like to take on one project at a time and complete it before I go on to something else. Needless to say, I don't thrive in a fast-paced environment.

[Welder]

Ya the coffee doesn't help matters, and have you thought about working night shift

[jdubsms]

I thought I was alone when it came to dealing with work! My job is over the phone in a call center. Sounds easy but I have social anxiety disorder. It's nice not seeing the people I'm talking to but I have issues concentrating on what they are saying. My coworkers are the ones that keep me going. They don't know that I have a few "issues" though. Nevertheless, they keep my job entertaining.

[loophole]

Honestly night shift is a nightmare for bps. I was on it and had to transfer departments to get back to days. Other then that. Coworkers and paranoia. High stress jobs aren't good for anyone but worse for bps. Have difficulty handling those personally

[BlackSheep79]

When I'm going thru a hypomania phase and I'm going thru that irritable phase that's the hard part. Luckily I'm on intermittent FMLA and I've learned to recognize when I'm going to explode. I can go off just by certain peoples voices. I just leave work. I hate to do it, but I hate risking losing my job. I had to do it Friday.

A really big issue is the side effect of seroquel. I'm a zombie when I wake up. My pdoc hates that I have a little caffeine, just in the morning that's it, to get going. It's sad, but my two goals for the day is to get in the shower and make it thru the day at work. I recently told my husband this crying telling him that I felt horrible that Monday thru Friday he isn't even part of it. Saturday and Sunday he is, but that's not fair. It's all about surviving, and I have to work.

Most people at work know about the BP, but I still feel the need to put that fake face on. I don't want to be asked questions. To be honest, it feels like my OCD causes more problems at work because of what I do for a living. Especially lately. I was on Latuda and it destroyed my life, and now my OCD is completely out of control. Managing a job and mental illness is the hardest thing I've had to do, and I hope it gets better someday.

[kmptrgeek]

The constant cycling. One day I may be the guy with all the answers and the next day (or hour) I may be laying flat on my floor doing breathing exercises).

I'll 2nd the comments about the "I don't give a crap" pill also know as Seroquel. My pdoc just took me completely off it because when I took it I felt like a walker that was mad at everybody for not eating people fast enough (sorry, Walking Dead reference).

I have to say though, my biggest challenge at work is my boss. He's a BP's worst nightmare.

[echobravo]

I also suffer from sleep problems for which I take medication and so far only one has worked and I kind of got hooked on it so I decided to switch. Turns out that was a horrible decision because none of the new medicines have even close to worked and I feel like I'm tired all the time. I'm a teacher so I have to be on my game all the time and keeping up that energy with out the right kind of sleep is really hard.

I wouldn't say faking it is that difficult for me. Some days are definitely harder than others. Like the other day I was having a really irritable hypo day and felt like I was always one step away from losing it, but when I came clean a few days later and told my coworkers I had a tough day, they didn't even notice anything was wrong. I guess the only reason I'm 'normal' these days is my combination of anti-psychotics and antidepressants. I say to myself everyday that I am thankful for my medicine because it allows me to live as close to a normal life as I can, but in reality it terrifies me to think that I might or most likely will have to take this medicine for the rest of my life, and even though I don't want to kill myself all the time or run around screaming at people and feeling so angry I could explode, there are certain things, certain parts that the medicine closes off to me and I miss them and I'm worried I will never get them back.

Depression is the worst for me, my episodes of depression are very long and dark. Mind you, last time I was hypomanic I quit my job... Luckily they were begging for me back 6 months later.

Work stress can trigger episodes of depression for me, so I need to be aware of how much I take on. Most days I have to drag myself there as I dont feel like I can cope with it, but once there I am usually fine. I love my current job and could not imagine anything better or more suited to me but some days it is really hard to put on the happy face.

[Blitter2014]

The stress associated with having to put on a happy and professional facade. I found that by the time I had psyched myself up for work I was already exhausted before I met my first client. Then trying to keep that disposition all day, and work through any problems that arose without falling apart.......

I speak of work in the past tense due to having to give up work only a couple of months ago after 10 years of being self employed.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by HolisticGal

Can I ask you what's the most difficult for you while trying to maintain your sanity, health and your job?

Mine is the extreme sleep deprivation firstly as I'm not able to turn off until 2 or 3am (and some industries start the day at 8am or 9am). I find the lack of sleep day in and day out to be a living hell more than my episodes.

Or is it for you having to fake being normal?

I am on the job market again, but not working yet. What I fear the most is having to get up early in the morning. For me, if I sleep enough, I can conquer most things, but underslept, I am completely helpless. Also, I become very anxious when I do not get enough sleep. So I am with you on sleep deprivation causing living hell.

[HolisticGal]

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

the worst part is, that I can't hold a job. because I get super-exhausted when I'm "depressed". It's not even the mood, it's my body's energy levels get so low, that I can't do anything else, just stay in bed all day for months. Is this ever gonna get better? or only worse?

Totally get you on this - it's not the mood for me either - it's the ENERGY. It make sense though - I just had a week of hypomania and forgot to eat some days and got so much done. I had been putting off washing the inside and outside of my car for months! Bam, out of no where it's done now. But then naturally you need to go through a down phase to recoup in a way and catch up on calories and rest, which is so hard to do while at work where you are expected to perform at the same pace while you were hypo!