[Mimielam]

I put a trigger thing..not certain if that is what a trigger is for..I just need to say that I'm so upset and angry for so many things right now it's very confusing. I just feel like yelling and I would do need to be able to let out all this.

I really wish people would realize that I'm not all yet all good...I'm still slow at doing things I'm usually good at..I'm also still under so much stress..It is so very difficult...

everybody expects me to be who I usually am..I can't right now. I've really got to find a way to tell all the people close to me without making things worst.

I'm this close to quitting my job, this close to telling a few people to go...
and this close to telling some people that I'm really fed up of a few things..it's so really really hard right now. and I must keep my head, my calm, my cool because: I need money to pay my bills, need to be there for my mother who just found out she has lung cancer..and I must maintain my treatment..but man do I wish I could just go have a good healthy way to let out all this anger without making my closed ones feel bad..I want to be alone and just scream, punch something..a bag, break things...I need to let it all out...

[CANDC]

Mimielam, I know how you feel. You aren't triggering me.

I tried the acting out feelings therapy but it only went so far.

What I do when things get bad is just jump in the shower and get ready for bed and go to sleep early if possible. If I can't sleep on goes the soft comforting instrumental music.

Maybe I do mindfulness with counting of the breaths from 1 inhale 2 exhale up to 10 and then go back to 1 when I get to 10 or lose the count.

I do yoga (youtube adrienne complete beginners yoga) just to relax the body.

I do exercises in the morning before work. I don't talk about my struggle at work. I just do my job. I am a caregiver on weekends for my parents but I just try not to make waves.

I think you are smart because you can separate the anger from the realities of keeping your job, dealing with mom, keeping yourself on track.

Just keep on going and get enough sleep. Maybe if you are on meds you need to talk to your pdoc or if you are not on meds, maybe it's time to see if that would help.

I feel your pain from 1000's of miles away, so feel free to PM me or any of the Community liasons and let one of us know what we could listen to and help direct you to resources

[Love&Toil]

Originally Posted by CANDC

I think you are smart because you can separate the anger from the realities of keeping your job, dealing with mom, keeping yourself on track.

This. It is really wise to think about the consequences of your actions.

So how to get out all this anger in a productive way? How to talk to the people in your life about what is realistic for you, that they have to adjust their expectations?

You seem quite self-aware, CANDC gave some good suggestions for calming and relaxing. Have you ever tried journalling your feelings? Do you want to talk more about what's making you angry here? It might help to get things sorted into perspective and give you a plan for talking about the things you need to talk about.

It also occurs to me that something physical, like exercise, could diffuse some pent up anger. Do you ever workout? Thrash about to some awesome tunes? Go for a walk?

Just some thoughts.

[healingme4me]

Getting the anger sorted in a safe environment, helps to sort through where the underlying frustration comes from, before doing anything in person that could be rash and backfire.

Sorry to hear about your mum.

Work is work sometimes. Damaging the bridge of connection there would have long term consequences. There's also the Work and Career forum, to sound off and get career feedback on what troubles you there.

All good suggestions given ^^

[jelly-bean]

It sounds like you are in a very bad place right now but are aware and trying to find a way out. I like to go for a bike ride to a park where I can enjoy nature. the exercise helps drain off some of the tension and Nature can ease the mind. Dancing is another way to lose some of the tension and then a hot shower, scented candles, nice music and a good book. Do the people at work know the problem you have? If they do oftentimes a little education can help them understand the problem. You can PM me if you need to talk or vent and I will be there for you. We all know what you are going through and would love to help.

[Lexi232]

Are you able to take the day off and travel to a wildlife park, or some sort of simliar place where you could take a day away from everything?

[Crazy Hitch]

Thanks for sharing this.

It makes me feel less alone.

I want to smash my face into a brick wall right now.

Sorry I'm of no use right now.

[Mimielam]

hey, Thank you for all the replies, you all gave me good ideas and it helps. I told myself I would go to bed at 11pm..still up but going there now. Yes, I'm taking my meds, must get up early for blood work and will be seing the pdoc nurse about all the meds next friday..but until then..I must cope with a lot of stress right now..my emotions are very edgy, not only because of my illness but also because of part of some news I got on friday about my mother's health..and tomorrow afternoon I'm going with her to her appointment with a pneumologist. My boss has already offered me to call in after the appointment to let her know if I will be able to work. Because I spoke to her on friday..because my mother told me the news about 10 minutes before my super break was over and it just Hit me and I was in tears..ah..my co worker..I guess they just did not know how to react to me..I wish I could of just walked out..but I stayed a few hours and then left..now I'm also afraid of going back..(that is my illness fear) anyways I'm going to bed, hot bath seroquel here I come..got to sleep a good 8 hours. thank you

[lacerta]

When I'm really angry I do indeed find time to be alone, punch pillows, yell in pillows etc making sure beforehand that I'm alone and I'm not scaring anyone. Put some loud music our white noise on.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by lacerta

When I'm really angry I do indeed find time to be alone, punch pillows, yell in pillows etc making sure beforehand that I'm alone and I'm not scaring anyone. Put some loud music our white noise on.

I'm going to try yell into pillows .... I like that one