i may hate my new treatment team.... opinions needed

So I walk in to t's office and he said we have to make a new safety plan. Fine whatever 10 days IP okay. Then it hit me: I must be completely med compliant, my husband must hold my meds, I must get the abilify shot, my husband must call er if I threaten or hurt myself/others in any way, if I miss an appointment I'll be called at that time to come at some point that week. It goes on but you get the picture. If I don't follow this at any time they can/will put me IP.

What I get: on call therapist 8-8, pdoc every 3-6 weeks, first cancelation when I call.

Wtf, happend? Isn't this over the top? Did they finally finish reading my file? Am I really that ill? Can they really do this? Is this really the amount of care I need? I don't think I can do this. No prn, to help my thoughts just straight to IP.

Honestly, it has been a long time coming. You have been highly unstable and have needed more careful intervention. Previously your care providers have not monitored you carefully enough, nor have they intervened quickly enough. You have a long history almost no medication compliance which has led to constant instability. Hopefully, with more structure to your care, you will learn better and healthier self-care skills. I know you don't ilke this, but this is a move in the right direction.

I'm with lol grace on this one. It may seem over the top but once you get stability you will be thankful for this care.

What changed so dramatically? They haven't even seen me "bad" yet.

I agree with Grace 100%

You have been in a very bad way for a long time. It's going to take a treatment plan like this to give yourself a fighting chance to find stability.

Maybe look at the positives instead of focusing on what you find are negative.

It's not a punishment. They're trying to help you find and maintain stability. A lot of us on here don't have that opportunity for intensive treatment we may need. Embrace it. Be thankful for it.

Sometimes they start safety plans very strict and taper off (I'd guess probably frequently but I've only had one big one once). After I got out of the hospital after a suicide note and complete intention to follow through I was told that I was to throw out all meds that I wasn't taking as soon as I got home and they were to be mixed into wet kitty litter so I couldn't dig them back out that night. My pill bottles went into a padlocked box and my therapist had the key. Every week while supervised I got out a week's worth of meds and then gave the key back to him. When he decided my box was too flimsy I had to buy a more sturdy one. Eventually he didn't pretty much count pills with me and I was allowed 2 weeks of pills at once. It took 2 1/2 years before I was given my key back; I had to go a long time without wanting to hurt myself. There were other things in place but that was the most annoying (I didn't have anyone to control my meds for me). I had to have my mom lock up her enormous bottles of ibuproferon and tylenol when I stayed at her house so I didn't have access. For a few weeks I had to promise on the threat of IP that I wouldn't go into an aisle in a store containing tylenol.

I hated it but understood why i had it and honestly when I got to be done with it I was really proud. I know right now the vultures are circling for whether I'm safe or not and I may loose my freedom again but so far I just have to show that I have crisis #s available and plans to get from one visit to the next.

Hopefully you'll also get to back off some of that over time. it truly is better safe than sorry. A therapist once told me that they are especially careful with suicidal patients because they lost a patient to suicide and don't ever want to go through that again. This made sense.

I agree with above - this was a long time coming MM. It isn't a drastic measure, although I know it seems like it to you because you've had so much freedom to change around your meds as you wanted.

They are trying to get you to be stable, long-term. Which you haven't been in the just over two years I've used this site.

They are looking out for the best interest of you, but also for your son and husband.

I'm sure once you've been stable for quite a while, and have demonstrated that you are going to be responsible enough to actually take care of your own treatment... then they'll loosen up on things. But really, with your history, how could they trust you with your own stability and safety when you haven't demonstrated that yet? They're trying to help show you and teach you that responsiblity. It just is a bit of a tough-love approach because anything less hasn't helped.