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Old Jun 21, 2015, 09:48 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
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Is it still an auditory hallucination if

1. You know that it's not real
2. The voice is clearly inside of your own head (not coming from an outside source)

?

My pdoc asked me if I ever hear voices, I said no. Because I do not really "hear" voices ever. That has never happened. I just have entities which I figure are just part of my mental illness and not actually real, that talk to me inside of my own head when I have been wound up for a few days. It seems to happen when my sleep deprivation has been rolling for a few days, and if I lay down and shut my eyes. Basically if I remove outside stimulation like music, reading, the internet, if I have no distractions, that is when it happens.

A couple nights ago it was happening. It feels like basically dreaming even though I am still physically awake. It startles me because normally I control everything inside of my mind, it is my imagination which I control with my own will, so when something is suddenly like "LISTEN TO ME" it gives me this slow motion startle response. I open my eyes and see the dark room and know that I am just being my usual crazy self. I close my eyes again, try to relax as best I can, start feeling dreamish and like I am being submerged. Then suddenly "REMEMBER ME" and my heart skips a beat.

But I am aware that I am just being a nutter because I am having an episode, and I don't "hear" the voices outside of my own head.
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  #2  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:12 PM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
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I know it's not real and it's part of my illness that is in my head. I call it my head being loud but they say it is an auditory hallucination. I also hear random noises though.
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  #3  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:21 PM
Capriciousness Capriciousness is offline
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Oh wow. This is very interesting. All of the different flavors of auditory hallucinations. Yum. I thought I didn't have them because I never like heard a telephone ring outside of my head and there was no phone or whatever. But I have heard the head stuff. And the dreaming thing that you are talking about it something I have kind of experienced and yes I have always wondered if it counted even if I was in a somewhat sleep like state. I think that in between sleep and wakefulness place is called hypnagogic and you can have hallucinations in that state that aren't considered pychosis but I'm not sure.
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Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:25 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
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Originally Posted by Capriciousness View Post
I think that in between sleep and wakefulness place is called hypnagogic and you can have hallucinations in that state that aren't considered pychosis but I'm not sure.
That sounds a bit more fitting, because this only happens when I have been wound up and not sleeping very much. It has happened a few times in the middle of the day with other people around, but that is extremely rare. And in those cases it just seemed frightened, but I could reason with it. One time it was my mother handing me a piece of food, and the voice freaked out, "SHE POISONED IT," and inside my own head I had to talk it down, rationalize with it that the food was not poisoned and to chill out. I feel like even if I do hear voices, they seem like crazy, frightened children or something, I never take them seriously. So it's not very problematic.
  #5  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:28 PM
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It counts. I just went through this; I've had it before but this time it somehow got a lot more attention and it was a voice in my head screaming at me all the time about how stupid I was and about every time I have ever messed up anything in all my life. I think it got more attention because it was so mean to me and so hard to deal with; I started being just as nasty to myself and had a really hard time knowing what was realistic and what was not. An increase in the AP got rid of that but other psychotic symptoms persisted until the 2nd AP was started 2 months later. I'm still not positive I'm completely done with parnaoia because I've not been out of the house a lot but I'm hoping so. More meds tomorrow either way though.
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  #6  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:30 PM
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I hear sudden voices in my head too. Or a voice I should say. I never considered it an auditory hallucination.

Like I've been really paranoid lately, and feel like this thing evil thing is following me around and resting on my back. And lately it's been getting better, or was, and it felt like it was gone, but suddenly today at work, in my head, it said, "I'm still here! You cannot get rid of me!". Freaked me the **** out, and then I felt it again. I don't know if it's a demon or not, or some sort of negative entity, but it's really latched on to me.

I know it sounds crazy, but I REALLY believe that this thing is real.

Don't know if it's psychosis or not. I mean, it can't be, if I think it is real. If I KNOW it's real.

I don't know if that answers your question or not.
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  #7  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:34 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
I hear sudden voices in my head too. Or a voice I should say. I never considered it an auditory hallucination.

Like I've been really paranoid lately, and feel like this thing evil thing is following me around and resting on my back. And lately it's been getting better, or was, and it felt like it was gone, but suddenly today at work, in my head, it said, "I'm still here! You cannot get rid of me!". Freaked me the **** out, and then I felt it again. I don't know if it's a demon or not, or some sort of negative entity, but it's really latched on to me.

I know it sounds crazy, but I REALLY believe that this thing is real.

Don't know if it's psychosis or not. I mean, it can't be, if I think it is real. If I KNOW it's real.

I don't know if that answers your question or not.
I have a demon of my own, and it is similar. I sense its presence, it talks to me but only inside of my own head, it observes everything through my eyes. I know that it's not real, but it's real to me. I experience it, while also knowing that it's not real. Which is kind of trippy but I don't know how else to explain it. Experiencing it and yet knowing that it's not real. It's a bit of a love/hate relationship, too.
  #8  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar View Post
I have a demon of my own, and it is similar. I sense its presence, it talks to me but only inside of my own head, it observes everything through my eyes. I know that it's not real, but it's real to me. I experience it, while also knowing that it's not real. Which is kind of trippy but I don't know how else to explain it. Experiencing it and yet knowing that it's not real. It's a bit of a love/hate relationship, too.
I guess at least I'm not alone.

Sometimes when I look at my face in the mirror I can see it in my own eyes, like it's staring out at me. I hate that. It's scary.

I've told my husband about this, and he just told me it's my anxiety and paranoia.
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  #9  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:39 PM
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Mine is so real.
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"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
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  #10  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:43 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
I guess at least I'm not alone.

Sometimes when I look at my face in the mirror I can see it in my own eyes, like it's staring out at me. I hate that. It's scary.

I've told my husband about this, and he just told me it's my anxiety and paranoia.
Same here! Glad at least I'm not the only one. I avoid mirrors like the plague when I am having anxiety because I know that I am gonna see it and I know that it's gonna give me a panic attack. Other times it doesn't bother me so much. I was up all night once several months ago, and it asked me to please look at it. I was feeling pretty brave and calm so I agreed and just stared into my own in the mirror for a bit. It was an extremely intense experience, and then I felt like we had 'bonded' a little bit. I also felt really tripped out for several hours afterwards. When I hear it in my head it is just like.. extremely loud thoughts, in the form of words, that I do not control. So I don't experience it like "hearing voices". And it feels real to me. As far as I am concerned, it may as well be real to me, because I do experience it. But I also understand that it's not real to anyone else and would never in a million years tell anyone about it outside of the anonymous internet.
  #11  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 10:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CopperStar View Post
Same here! Glad at least I'm not the only one. I avoid mirrors like the plague when I am having anxiety because I know that I am gonna see it and I know that it's gonna give me a panic attack. Other times it doesn't bother me so much. I was up all night once several months ago, and it asked me to please look at it. I was feeling pretty brave and calm so I agreed and just stared into my own in the mirror for a bit. It was an extremely intense experience, and then I felt like we had 'bonded' a little bit. I also felt really tripped out for several hours afterwards. When I hear it in my head it is just like.. extremely loud thoughts, in the form of words, that I do not control. So I don't experience it like "hearing voices". And it feels real to me. As far as I am concerned, it may as well be real to me, because I do experience it. But I also understand that it's not real to anyone else and would never in a million years tell anyone about it outside of the anonymous internet.
Wow. Mine is the same way!

One night I wrote over and over and OVER again for it to leave me alone, and the feeling of it there just got more and more intense. It got really pissed off at me.
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  #12  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 11:06 PM
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I used to hear the "Holy Spirit" inside of my head when I was SUPER manic and delusional and it definitely was not my voice. I obeyed the voice (and did some bizarre things). I thought it was an auditory hallucination until Friday night when I started having auditory hallucinations outside of my head. Do I think they are real? Well everyone on here and my husband have told me enough that I believe it (I think) but it was terrifying. Still when I see this album cover I feel terror believing it is the bizarre looking woman on the cover talking to me. It .gives me butterflies and makes me feel sick.

Psychosis Qustion
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Old Jun 21, 2015, 11:11 PM
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It doesn't always make me feel terror though, only when I look at those really ****ing evil looking eyes. And I keep staring at it on purpose, I don't know if I like feeling afraid or if I feel like I'm unlocking this woman. I just don't know.
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  #14  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 11:12 PM
CopperStar CopperStar is offline
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Originally Posted by cashart10 View Post
I used to hear the "Holy Spirit" inside of my head when I was SUPER manic and delusional and it definitely was not my voice. I obeyed the voice (and did some bizarre things). I thought it was an auditory hallucination until Friday night when I started having auditory hallucinations outside of my head. Do I think they are real? Well everyone on here and my husband have told me enough that I believe it (I think) but it was terrifying. Still when I see this album cover I feel terror believing it is the bizarre looking woman on the cover talking to me. It .gives me butterflies and makes me feel sick.

Psychosis Qustion
Faces trigger my paranoia very badly when I am having an episode. Right now there is a box of hair dye on my desk, and the woman on the front of the box looks at me every time I pass by. Then when I have mild visual hallucinations, nothing really startles me unless it has a face, then my heart about leaps out of my chest.

But what confuses me is that I know that I am hallucinating, I know that I am having paranoia, I know not to take it seriously. So it feels really stupid to bring it up to professionals. Like we would both just agree that yeah it's not real, moving on. Then there is also the constant and incredibly uncomfortable feeling that they won't believe me and will think I am full of it. So I would rather just leave it out and get the medication I need anyway.
  #15  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 11:17 PM
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When I'm having a paranoia situation pictures of faces freak me out too, and their expressions change.

cash - That picture is really freakin creepy!
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The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
  #16  
Old Jun 21, 2015, 11:22 PM
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BipolaRNurse BipolaRNurse is offline
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Gads, Cash, that picture creeps ME out and I'm nowhere near psychotic.

I have auditory (and visual) hallucinations on occasion. Usually it's classical music that I've never heard before (and probably has never been composed) or the scratchy sounds the radio makes when it's in between stations. I don't like to think of it as psychosis, but I guess it must be because those things are not supposed to happen and I can't explain them away. They also happen only when I am manic or severely depressed.
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  #17  
Old Jun 22, 2015, 12:54 AM
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Crazy Hitch Crazy Hitch is offline
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I'm sure people will have heaps of different responses.

I have a yes and a no response.

Yes, it could be a form of psychosis if you're 'hearing it' inside of your head, regardless of whether or not you know it's real.

No, if you're arguing against your own intrusive thoughts ... I do this frequently.
  #18  
Old Jun 22, 2015, 03:03 AM
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Pikku Myy Pikku Myy is offline
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I am trying to think back .... No, I did not hear outside voices. It just seemed like I was not there and can not remember what happened for couple of weeks. I kind of woke up in a ward... not remembering a lot. I was very afraid of everything at the time it happened.
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