I want to feel emotionally numb

I want to ask my doc for a med that will just make me not feel any emotion and another that will make me sleep all day and night..I want to be alive but asleep until the day I die..I hate this bipolar.. I hate that I was born like this..I hate that I can't get better like other ppl do..why won't it stop? No matter how good I am it won't stop..y can't these drs figure out how to fix it..its not fair..I hate me..

I hear you there, I feel the same way lots of times. Actually a couple weeks ago I said something similar to the case worker and she didn't get it, she thought I ment Sui and started going on about IP. No I just want to sleep it all away, I don't think that deserves bringing up IP.

I'm sorry that you're in pain

If there was something I could do on my side to help you feel better, believe me I would.

I feel the same way most of the time, as far as wishing I was just numb and felt nothing. It is even funny I guess how I read all of these negative reviews on atypicals complaining that the medication made them numb, and I'm sitting here fingers crossed hoping that it happens to me. It sounds like a blessing, not a side effect, from where I'm standing. I get mostly dysphoric mania, though. It's like feeling every negative emotion in existence all at the same time, but especially agitation, while my mind is just exploding with intrusive thoughts 24/7. So the idea of being numb just sounds amazing.