[imadeitanotherday]

Lately I have been struggling with a thought, and it has to do with the possibility of becoming less and less functional to the point where I am not longer capable of working or supporting myself.I am also concerned that I am going to quit my job, give up on my future, become recluse, and essentially need to be taken care of by my boyfriend.

Bipolar I- Lamotrigine 150 mg
Anxiety- Propanolol 20 mg
Depression- soon to be an antidepressant

[Ripose]

Why are you giving up in advance? You should be planning for a good future despite being bipolar. You have a diagnoses, are on medication and are hopefully looking for other ways to help you cope like coming here.
I would say so far you have a good grip on things don't let a label ruin your life!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Nobody knows this, bipolar or not. I could be hit by a car tomorrow and die and that could happen regardless of bipolar. Bipolar acts differently for everyone and everyone's circumstances make it different so that it's just impossible to guess. Going through life will at times affect your bipolar but that can go both ways, good and bad. The answer is just that it is anyone's guess how ANY life will be in a year or 5 years or a month even.

[Lonlin3zz]

Your username says you've made it another day, another day of what? New chapters in your life.

Hey man, being concern about your future is good, but being negatively concerned won't make it change, but instead decline for the worse. You are aware about that don't you?

You will never know what awaits you everyday, whether it be good or bad, it just unfolds in front of us unexpectedly. I hope you'll do consider weeding out the threats that your mind is trying to impose or mislead you, because it will never totally happen unless you follow it.

Don't just throw in the towel yet!

[~Christina]

What that is called is fear of the unknown. Everyone on the planet is at risk of not making it and having to depend on others.. the diffrence? You are aware a bit, You have a treatable illness that you can be proactive about.

Bipolar doesn't mean your dreams can't be reached, You can indeed have it all. Work on learning way to stay healthy and moving forward.

Don't let Bipolar become a blod sucking monster, It's just a illness, along with every other lillness out there. It's all about learning to live to the best ability you can.

Enjoy life

[Trippin2.0]

Work eventually turned out to be a huge issue for me too, and I had very similar fears, but its like the previous posters said... Fear of the unknown, nobody knows what lies ahead, and negative self-talk all happening at once.


Me? I chose to be proactive, I dabbled with different work environments and circumstances to see which option would be BP friendly, because I was at that point where my T was talking disability already, and I mean c'mon I'm a 30 y.o single mother, I would never survive that way. Not with how social security is set up in my country.


These days I'm happy to report that reducing my hours, even though I took a huge pay cut, has helped me immensely. Even if the first few months were really wobbly because I had the schedule from hell.


Its been a year at my current job and I'm ready to work full time, so things are definitely looking up for me.


It could've turned out very differently if I just sat and waited for the sky to fall.


Find the path and the method that leads you to contentment.


Its possible

[BastetsMuse]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 21 years ago. I was declared unable to work about five years ago. Guess what? I'm not homeless. I'm not rich, but I still have money to spend on books (my favorite thing). My life is comfortable, even happy. I raised my daughter to be a productive member of society. I divorced, then remarried, as "normal" people do. My husband loves me. I have two dogs. I'm a little bit of a recluse, but I like life that way.

Do I worry about tomorrow? Yes. And I plan for it as much as I can. But I don't let it cripple today. Today is sweet. Live in it.

[raspberrytorte]

Everyone has given great advice.

I can understand your worry though.

My biggest worry is that I'm going to completely lose my mind sometime in the future (of course, that's kind of already happened, and everything turned out okay, sort of. So, maybe worrying about that is warranted. Lol).

Like trippin, I had to find a job that worked for me. I don't make a whole lot of money at my job, but it's a good job for me and my mental situation. Before the job I had now I was an HR person and sitting on my *** all day in an office was driving me crazy.

[imadeitanotherday]

Thanks for your advice, all of you. I have noticed that most of you think I am being kind of negative. It helps to be called out on that because I am typically very pessimistic by nature and I can't always tell when something I say or think is negative in some way.

I have another concern and that is the impulsiveness I have been experiencing lately. I have been acting inappropriately sexual toward people I shouldn't, being unable to resist stealing prescription narcotics, not being able to fall asleep, and feeling like I could easily down an whole bottle of pills. I was very close to taking a whole handful of aspirin last night and it really scared me when I realized how close I was to doing something so dangerous without really caring about the consequences. So much so that I almost asked my boyfriend to hide everything in the medicine cabinet and the knives... I am considering admitting myself to the local mental health unit for safety and security. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to afford it in my current situation. I may be able to in September. And the fact that I actually want to be admitted is really different to me. The only time I have ever been admitted to the psych ward was when I was 16 for an overdosed (not intentional suicide, just didn't care. Much like the way I am feeling right now). I'm not sure the lamictal is working for me.

[RisuNeko]

You need to do something to take care of yourself. That sounds like a really dangerous situation. Mixed episode coming on maybe? Those are the worst.

I'm assuming you don't have insurance? Most hospitals have a 'charity care' program where they will cover your stay. It sounds like you are in a very dangerous spot.

reading this thread is a sort of comfort to me.

i worry about my future all the time, and some of the comments and advice in this thread makes me feel less worried about it

somehow..