[gayleggg]

I'm feeling rather bored. To depressed too do anything. Anxiety isn't too bad.

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[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I feel a lot better today. Didn't take my full dose of saphris friday night so i felt horrible yesterday. I will make sure i don't do that again.

Glad Saphris is helping you too.

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[scatterbrained04]

Last night went well

So I now have insurance, but no card yet. Tried to print one from insurance website, but they don't have it available yet. I have a member ID, but no pharmacy numbers. Have to cash pay $50 for my son's Focalin today. I will be taking my last Latuda tonight. Sounds like I will be going through a few days of withdrawl while trying to work this week

[Takeshi]

R.I.P. majestic ocean friend.

This big empty cardboard coffin came through my work today, wrote big R.I.P on the box, put it on a display. I hugged it, danced with it, and I had to dispose the box myself. The label saids it was for DISMEMEBERING SHOW! Someone told me that there was a huge crowd for the show, when the fishmonger asked for who wants the head for free? There were no takers. We eat the head, supposedly the best part of a tuna fish. I've talked with these fish guys and meat guys, they are alright.

Rows of packed meat and fish, a native tribe somewhere that is untouched by the modern world, not quite completely of course, I just have sadness inside making me see everything in that light. Everything I see in this room makes me think of as a result of exploitation of natural resources, the damaged we caused and can never give back till we're gone.

There was another thing from yesterday. I got to remember this, I need to talk to or read something about blind man/woman, and learn how they perceive the world around them.

REVERSE ENGINEERING!!

Sorry I was just thinking about something. a-ha moment.

---------------------------

So looks like my writing was cached by this old chrome browser..
I just came back to write what happened yesterday or the day before. I was crying for a good reason in front of someone I've never talked with. I already written about my tuna friend, didn't I?

Typical me? Yes, whatever happens, that's normal, slight course adjustments has been attempted every day. I sometimes feel that I'd been brain washed with bad ideas on things through out my life, look where we are!! No worries i'm fine.

Tomorrow's my day off, can't wait. Too tired to plan anything for the day though.

Tv, could be a mind altering device, and I don't own it, scars me a little. .. Subliminal message? What's that got to do with American Idol?? ....mmm....Now I see!

[Standup2me]

Somedays I just don't care about anyone but me
Todays is one of those days

[Pastel Kitten]

Got a good night's (morning's) sleep (although it did take quite a bit of wearing down to achieve that). Feeling great!

3:30 a.m. Laying here wide awake. Can't shut brain off. It's looping on really depressive thoughts, so I'd really like it to shut up already! If I take more meds, it'll be hell getting up 3 hours from now...
But, to not... will there be sleep at all?
Hate the damned if you do, damned if you don't time of night...

Think I'll opt for a bit more med. Gotta shut this brain the hell up.

[Takeshi]

Looking at an object, closing my eyes, staring at the ceiling, whatever I do, I have no thoughts or feelings, I get stuck there for a bit, I can't seem to get up and do something. I'm still in work uniform, I'm worried for my day off tomorrow. Just for half a day, I can still do something about this. The right way.

[hopeless2015]

Struggling today...came home from work for afternoon, going to bed. Can't do other people today... Hope I'm not going back into depression

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[BlackSheep79]

Going through a severe depression. I'm having suicidal thoughts. One minute I feel I should go inpatient, then I know I can get through this. I'm almost always hypo, I haven't been this depressed for a few years. I'm going through med changes and work stress. I have almost two weeks of vacation, couldn't have been more of a perfect timing.

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling soooo relieved. I can feel the stress just melting away. I was able to print my new health insurance card today, so I can go get my Latuda filled now. Ran out of it yesterday.

[scatterbrained04]

And then went to the pharmacy and was told my new insurance won't cover my son's Focalin XR

[Unrigged64072835]

Kind of a blah day. Moved my furniture around so I can see my artwork. Hoping it'll set off some mojo to make more. Otherwise I haven't done much except therapy.

[Takeshi]

It's coming on again. Everywhere I look, I'm picking up this one particular color. I was watching this night view from my window last night, it was fine. And this morning, I see the houses and other buildings, I'm not criticizing the design or how tacky all that looks, it's just too many. My room and stuff inside tells about what kind of person I am, I made it so the way it is, and how I felt about it last night and my brain's reaction to them this morning are making me very uncomfortable. Past few days, I can say that I'm okay for only a few hours a day, I never feel that I relax at any time of the day but those are the time, that gives me a break and obviously I'm not getting enough of it. I feel that I'm at the opposite end of comfort, peace, relaxed state, joy and enjoyment. All the excitement of life, the faulty view I was having has subsided substantially, almost nonexistent at this point. How my mind is working right now is so mechanical, watching myself reacting the way I do is just what it is, I'm doing what I know, my imaginations included. If there were a time, my clock would be desynchronized, and I'm not hearing the next ticking sound. I'm not complaining about this ups and downs and what has been presented to me, I've been using tools and ideas to counter them, doesn't seem to be working much, being stuck in wherever this is, there's no envisioning happening. A single moment still gives me something I suppose, then I have to walk past it, then the world around me gets blurred. Searching the depth of the ocean, or out in the space, I just live till I collapse.

[gina_re]

I'm currently in PHP and the one nurse practitioner decided to lower my trileptal to 1500. I was very hesitant and told her I know its a high dose, but anytime I try and go down on this med good things do not happen. But she convinced me because I was adding lamictal into the cocktail it should be ok. NOPE!! **** is going crazy and I had such bad anxiety during the afternoon group session, I had to leave the room until art therapy. Then I lost it again this afternoon and was soooo tempted to drink. I somehow made myself not to do so and ate a bunch of junk food instead (Five Guys). But then I came home to a beautiful get well soon card from my boss's boss. That made me feel better, it was so sweet and unexpected. I just hope I can sleep tonight..

[Lady Lazarus]

I'm doing a little better than I was yesterday. Unfortunately I am still at a low point but I am still trucking along.

[Standup2me]

I find Mondays really hard. I got yelled at by my boss and yelled right back (he was shocked). I never yell, so it was kind of hard to do.
Boss is an a@@hole, and yelling was long overdue

[Furelise]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Hope it is ok for me to start the new one. (#9 hit the post limit for a thread.)

How's everyone doing today?

I'm good. Saw my therapist today. Went for a walk afterwards. I have a book assignment... Adult Child of an Alcoholic. ( will read a bit before my next session)

[Furelise]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

I find Mondays really hard. I got yelled at by my boss and yelled right back (he was shocked). I never yell, so it was kind of hard to do.
Boss is an a@@hole, and yelling was long overdue

I hope you feel ok. At least you didn't bottle things up ( emotionally). Hang in there

[Unrigged64072835]

Quiet day. Made some art and listened to music. Waiting until Friday when I can decorate the house for the holidays. (The rest of the family didn't want it done sooner.)

[BlackSheep79]

Went to a hotel for the night with my husband. Just wanted to get away and chill. I'm severely depressed right now in my life so it's nice to be with my best friend right now during this time.

[Takeshi]

Just my distasteful thought:

Possible trigger:

False God/Goddess and gallons of blood running like a water fall, were once part of a human ecosystem.

It's just one of my random thoughts from this morning. 10hrs of sleep, what more could I ask for? Doing fine.

[ColeM1100]

Hi
Feeling okay which makes no sense, usually I am sad. The sun is out which helps, also my pills are seeming to be working


Having P.M.S though as I'm tired and a little cranky
at the same time

[Unrigged64072835]

More art and more music. Trying to keep myself busy so I don't start bouncing off the walls.

Happy Thankgiving to those who celebrate tomorrow. Otherwise try to have a nice day.

Going well, home tomorrow, just a bad reaction to the withdrawal meds. But cannot waiting get home.