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#526
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Feeling super depressed this morning along with being irritable. I don't feel like doing anything or talking. My husband just got up and he is always cranky in the morning. I hope the depression gets better as the day goes on.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
#527
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starting new job soon, family still sucks, testosterone kicking in for winter blues
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#528
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Woke up annoyed at everything and everyone. Now I'm feeling down. Not sure what is going on with me today.
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#529
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Today was a good day. Worked out for 40 mins at the gym between the elliptical, recumbent bike, and back exercises. Then relaxed in the hot tub for 10 mins and took a nice shower. Cooking dinner now. Making chicken and yellow rice. It's one of my favorite new recipes that I've tried recently. Usually make it every week now, sometimes twice a week. Doing ok with no Provigil. I think working out is giving me more energy.
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#530
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I feel okay, but have that "something is missing" feeling
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What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
#531
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I've had a busy day and forgot to take my Lamictal until now. Hoping it doesn't affect me too much.
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#532
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I talked to my Mum last night, and she forgot who she was talking to, and started talking about how she was going to leave my Dad but she got pregnant with them, and I screwed that all up. And that she wanted an abortion but was too far along when she realized it.
Yes, I've heard it before. I just think, for pete's sake shut up about it already, it was a long time ago.
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What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
![]() Anonymous45023, Cocosurviving, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835
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![]() marmaduke
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#533
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Oh yeah, I should have said, she is 88 and will act befuddled when she wants something or wants to get away with something, but she is very sharp.
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What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
![]() marmaduke
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#534
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Been sick and tired lately. My kid brought home a bug and it's making its rounds around the house.
Christmas presents are coming in so now have to figure out when to wrap everything with everybody's schedules. |
#535
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I am weary. World weary
Weary of the news Weary of the economy Weary of long nights Weary, weary, weary
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#536
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Lately I've been very tired all the time. I slept all night 8-9 hours. After taking my 9 yr old
daughter to school i went back home and took a 4 hour nap. Then I ran some errands for my aunt and grandma.
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
#537
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Got bronchitis, so no working out for a few days.
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#538
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My brain won't shut up.
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#539
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My brain is in shutdown mode. There's a brick wall between anything I try to read and my brain...no comprehension .
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, Takeshi
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#540
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Stayed home from the gym today. Feeling a little down and needed the rest.
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#541
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Depression has been dragging me down now for several months. It's getting worse as time goes by. I'm not looking forward to going through another med change but I'm beginning to think that it is the only option at this point. I see my pdoc next Tuesday and am trying to decide whether to ask for a change in my antidepressant. I keep hoping that it will turn itself around but am losing hope and I'm maxed in dosage already. I've tried so many already there aren't many choices left.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, BlackSheep79, Cocosurviving, dislexia1214, Takeshi
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#542
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Slow day at work, I caught a litte nap, though! I was thankful for that, I upped my dosage on my meds (Latuda) earlier this week and my sleep has been kind screwed up. Ready to get back to good sleep.
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#543
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Just drained and tired. Money is tight again until Christmas Eve. Just paid off fixing the car so it didn't leave much left. Trying to get myself to do things for fun but just not feeling it. I hope I'm not slipping into another depression.
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![]() Anonymous45023, BlackSheep79
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#544
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My day started off with me waking up from eight hours of sleep. Then walking my dog and sleeping four more hours. I just gotta get a handle on this sleeping situation. My 9 yr old stayed home wasn't feeling well. She spent the day with grandma. I picked up my meds and ran a few other errands. I checked the mail and my electric bill was in. I was so nervous abt opening it up. I finally did and it was $61.00. I was so happy. Now I just have to wait on the water and gas bills. My fingers are cross there low too. Money is very short.
Sent from iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() BlackSheep79
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#545
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So, so scared. I can't handle another depression. I'd rather end now while I have the energy then wait. I want people to remember me as the happy girl. I can't do this again.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() Anonymous45023, BlackSheep79, dislexia1214, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835
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#546
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Tomorrow is my first psychiatry appointment with Dr. Guggali. I'm sitting here thinking of things I'm supposed to bring or what I'm supposed to talk about. I took a test online about Social Anxiety Disorder and (I hope I'm not one of those people who think they have every condition they read about) it really nailed a lot of my issues. I don't know enough about it yet though to say that's what I could have or if it's just part of a larger or broader issue of depression or bipolar. I've watched some video and read up a little on all of this and I have thus far been completely against the idea of some meds but the more success stories I hear about with these meds being a factor it makes me wonder if that may be what I actually need. If so, I don't know yet. I scares me because of my other addictive ways and although I never had an interest or issue with these types of meds my dad has and I don't know if it would even be worth the risk of testing. I do know that I am TIRED of being like I am and whatever it is I continue to sabotage myself in everything I do because of it. It affects me in so many ways and it is exhausting. It gets to the point that no matter how much I actually care about someone or something I can hardly show it because I avoid everything which in turn makes me feel even worse. I let my physical health go because I can't even force myself to make an appointment and if I do I can't keep it. I'll just keep going through severe pain for weeks so I don't have to make a phone call. I've ruined jobs in the past and am currently in the process of ruining this one probably and this one is something I truly am passionate about (even though it doesn't show right now) and it's the best opportunity I've ever had. I get a real chance to help people…but I can't even help myself right now. I don't know what to do or how to fix it. I tell myself just to get determined and just do it and I get to a certain point then my mind takes over. I can't keep up. It wears me out because I have to get so wound up to even be around people. I feel like I stutter and can't keep track or what I want to say. I find it hard to listen to what someone is talking about most of the time because I can't stop my thought processes. I get easily confused because of all this. And on top of that I feel the need to do things perfectly and the thought that I will just screw it up and not do it right is disabling. Even taking a shower is difficult! That is horribly embarrassing and that affects a lot of areas in my life too. When I finally can somewhat slow the thoughts I feel zoned out like I'm a paralyzed zombie for a minute. Like I can't even move. So I let the thoughts gush back through so that I can move or even look in a different direction. Even my eyeballs seem to freeze. I feel so lost.
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~Alexis |
![]() Anonymous45023, BlackSheep79, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835
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![]() Takeshi
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#547
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I've just found out that I punched another hole right next to my bed. That's right in front of my face, when the light is off, I don't see it but,,,awwww.... I punched the wall 'cos I heard a piano sound from upstairs, I hear it at odd hours, it is real. I'm losing appetite, barely taking care of myself.
My financial situation. It's all tied to this current job of course, I've had way too many incidents and caused some troubles and still continuing to do so. At a dollar store yesterday, I bought two items by mistakes, threw them away and went back to get the right stuff. I'm not usually this careless, also I'm looking at reduced hours at the end of the month to the next year. Sometimes I don't know what day it is and my work shift will be a bit irregular, I need to go to ATM to get some cash, I want to keep the status quo just to survive this winter but things look pretty shaky at the mo. I don't hate/like the way things are right now, I was struggling last week and maybe the week before, I was getting used to it. And this guy happened. A new guy at work, he's not that new any more, yet, he just can't follow the work procedure, after the numerous attempt to get him to do it right, I asked him why. His answer was he didn't know why he did the way he did. It's such a little thing, I can take care of the extra unnecessary work he leaves for me, that's not what bothers me. The fact that he doesn't seem to understand a single word I say to him, no matter how I simplify my words, I also wrote down some notes for him, I have used the politest and most acceptable ways to express myself, and none of these efforts I've made haven't worked so far. I get blamed for him not doing his work, the procedure, unless he does it when he does, it won't get completed the right way. I'm only talking about ONE thing, and the message only takes few words to get across, I have no more tricks up my sleeve. I needed to vent a little, I can't help myself blaming all this to myself, I just want this to stop, stop myself from falling further. Last edited by Takeshi; Dec 09, 2015 at 07:19 AM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, BlackSheep79, Unrigged64072835
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#548
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Went to a bipolar support group Monday. My husband and sister came with me for support. It was really hard listening to others talk. I could relate to everything they were saying and teared up so many times. When we had small groups to vent I talked and cried. I'm going through a lot in my personal life and a depression I just can't get out of. I plan on going every week. I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow and I'm really nervous. My pdoc told me she is really good, but will tell you like it is.
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BP 1 with psychosis OCD GAD Meds Seroquel 200mg Lamictal 400mg Propranolol 10mg am Xanax Er 1mg am/pm Clonidine 0.3mg We don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have |
![]() Takeshi
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#549
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Feeling ok, had a productive day and now getting ready to settle down with some Christmas music. We bought our tree today!
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![]() Takeshi
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#550
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The economy here is really tight. At work we usually have a couple skids of toys for Santa's Helpers. This year we don't even have a full box.
Harsh reality
__________________
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |