[Moreta]

I ****ing hate my new insurance. I selected a PCP when it prompted me to and paid my bill for january, but when I went to united healthcare's website there was a different PCP listed. I already made an appointment with the one I selected because I need to get a referral to my OBGYN for my depo shot and the latest I can get my depo shot is jan 14th. I don't understand why I need a referral to doctors I have been seeing for 4-5 years. NEVER get an HMO and NEVER use United Healthcare.

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I ****ing hate my new insurance. I selected a PCP when it prompted me to and paid my bill for january, but when I went to united healthcare's website there was a different PCP listed. I already made an appointment with the one I selected because I need to get a referral to my OBGYN for my depo shot and the latest I can get my depo shot is jan 14th. I don't understand why I need a referral to doctors I have been seeing for 4-5 years. NEVER get an HMO and NEVER use United Healthcare.

I'm sorry. That sounds frustrating!

I can share in your hatred for United Healthcare. My insurance switch to UHC from Anthem last month. UHC will not cover my sons Focalin XR that he has been on for 3-4 years. To add insult to injury, I was suggested by UHC for him to take Concerta (which makes him highly aggressive). I miss Anthem. Never had a problem.

I work in a doctors office, and I'm not a huge fan from that end either.

[Wander]

Been in hospital a week now since I had a meltdown with a mixed episode. They have kept me heavily sedated and added Lithium. I think I am starting to feel better. The agitation is not as intense but it is still hiding under the meds. Was supposed to go back to work tomorrow but my doctor wants me to take another week off as I am too fragile. I agree but I really need the money and I'm casual so no sick pay. Thankfully I have a little save for emergencies like this.

[Unrigged64072835]

Been tasked by my t to write a letter to my now-deceased father. It's supposed to be one of those free-flowing things. My father was physically and emotionally abusive. I've done work on this issue before but we're thinking this might help break this creative block I'm having. We'll see.

On the positive side I sent my friend her annual Christmas ornament. It's one of those Starbucks ornaments. I don't know if she got it or if she'll say anything, but I got it out before Christmas so I'm good.

I feel drained from the therapy homework. But, I'm hopeful this will do something when I see my t next week.

[Takeshi]

I was writing part of what's been going on in my days and I didn't write as well as I thought I did, so now it's gone, let me just post the following instead.

Tomorrow, may never come. You will walk into the unknown. Therefore I think it is as important for anyone to be ready, to give and receive. The readiness of mind, that I felt that I had tonight, which happens to be there before I will act like a human being, which comes before anything like peacefulness or a calmness, anything anyone can humanly describe you as, is not quite you. you just are, just like wildlife you see outside.

And there's a strength/being strong. you find those in many member's signatures. They are our armors, for us to have another moments...

And my knowledge is my own creation, sort of, and I will live to the best of my knowledge tomorrow.

It's my bed time, excuse my randomness. Thank you all for sharing your minds, it is always a pleasure, and have a good one with your holiday season, that I don't get! over here...

Lastly, 24 hrs news media should broadcast more of how many people don't have a roof over there head during this cold winter. Santa or no Santa, does it matter at all? G'night folks.

[scatterbrained04]

Why do I always laugh and crack jokes instead of being honest about how I feel? I always make it seem like I'm doing better than I really am.

So yeah, I had a pdoc appointment today and only said about 1/3rd of what I needed to. Oh well. So the story goes...

[Angry1541]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Why do I always laugh and crack jokes instead of being honest about how I feel? I always make it seem like I'm doing better than I really am.

So yeah, I had a pdoc appointment today and only said about 1/3rd of what I needed to. Oh well. So the story goes...

All I can say is, "Yup!"

[scatterbrained04]

So since the depression and anxiety hit me 2-3 weeks ago, I've lost 6 lbs from not eating much. I guess it's not a huge deal, since I'm fat.

[gayleggg]

Still depressed. Hopefully the new med will kick in soon. I sure hope so. Because right now I just feel like I'm taking up space. I'm lethargic and have no energy to pull myself out of it. Laying on the couch all day doesn't leave me feeling any better. It's just all that I have the energy to do right now.

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[cogladaid]

Whiskey and tears today. I was optimistic this morning and then it was like a light was switched off. Yesterday was the opposite - depressed as hell in the morning and hyperactive in the afternoon.

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[cogladaid]

I almost stole a car the other day. It was sitting there running. The driver not there. I almost jumped in and drove off. I managed to ignore the impulse.

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[Kymaro]

Been writing a lot, which is good for me. So I'd have to say I'm doing all right

[gayleggg]

I'm feeling very depressed. Don't think the med change is working. I'm so down this morning.

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[hopeless2015]

Doing okay... Plan to get presents wrapped and under the tree this afternoon

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[Nammu]

getting antsy

[Unrigged64072835]

Started good and just ground to a slow halt.

[scatterbrained04]

Morning was ok then crashed. Lots of going back to bed and some crying. I don't know what's going on with me.

[Takeshi]

A stray cat was snooping around my desk at work the other day, haven't seen it since then, and there's this wagtail (black-backed), it's probably tailing me to see what I'm up to, when I look at it, it just 'walks' away like there's nothing wrong, it likes to pretend that I'm not even there. We call it a 'parking lot bird' over here, we see them everywhere and not many really knows what they are. What businesses of theirs to be hanging around in a human world.

Jack the sparrow, he flies in every day past few days, not even being hungry, it just feels nice to be visited, I know he has a big family nearby, I saw a bunch of them at my old workplace. They entertain me and makes me feel like what I can do for them in return. There was also a great egret perched on water outside my window the other day, they adapted for us.

The world is a habitat as well as a playground for them, and we on the other hand, have this holiday season, is someone still shopping for gifts? Money is means to an end, we shall command it, instead of letting it create so many distortions in our views. Sometimes this reminds me of the time my brother destroyed what I said to him, my utopian view of the world, but this is for another time.

Holiday stress? For whatever reasons, someone would go to a room and cry, taking one hour at a time. I guess what surrounds them are just part of human landscape, it's a nature of things. The passage of times and fading of emotions, I hope y'all do more than just surviving and live through the holidays.

I'll be busy working till the 3rd of next year, so let me just say now,

Have a merry merry christmas to you all, forget about what the detractors/politicians say, it is what it is, it is just a human tradition, it's like a bandwagon. go see a parade if you feel like it. If any of you're feeling sick, or hitting a roadblock in life, not to worry, you put in twice more than you get like we try to do everyday, and another christmas will be around the corner waiting for you. I hope that everyone can believe in something larger than themselves and we, humans will be fine. Have a good one!

[Moreta]

Doing good today. Got done making all my christmas presents except for a bracelet and 2 pairs of earrings, but I can't get any supplies until Thursday when my husband gets paid. Looking forward to leaving on Wednesday to go down to FL. Will be nice and warm. I might even get to go swimming. My mother in law messaged me today and said she got me a gift certificate for a beading store and they even have classes. Might check out a class if I see one I like and also get some beads. My husband's aunt is getting me a gift certificate to Michael's because she asked what I wanted and I told her a gift certificate to a craft store. It will be exciting to get more craft supplies.

[Lady Lazarus]

Feeling kind of empty today. Saw a new T today..I actually really like her! She's young and nice. Hopefully she can help straighten things out. It's weird though, does anyone else feel worse after therapy? I almost always feel worse rather than better..

[UpDownMiddleGround]

I'm doing good today. I have been for a few weeks. I have a very positive outlook on everything that i have to handle. I am hopeful that things will keep going well.

[Saltine American]

Last night I went into a Walmart. The first place/shop/anything I've been in since maybe last December. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. Today, I had a T appt. and called an hour before and cancelled. Then I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 5:30a.m. Blah.

[Nammu]

felling really lazy and want to hole up.

[gayleggg]

Still depressed and anxious. I did make it to my therapy appointment but it wasn't very helpful.

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[BlackSheep79]

Went to DBSA last night, it was good. My husband is going too, they split off and have a small group of family support people that talk. I think it will be good for him and me as well. I finally came out of my depression last week. Saturday through Monday I felt like I was going hypo, but today I'm just really tired, so maybe I'm not going hypo. I'm on vacation for almost three weeks and I have no clue of what I'm going to do. I'd like to go bowling. I'm addicted to Blue Bloods on Netflix right now, so I know I'll finish watching that. Right now I'm just being lazy.