[scatterbrained04]

Does anyone else have a huge problem asking for help from family?

I'm a single mom and haven't been doing particularly well. My house is so trashed, and I'm so disorganized with a couple other things, but I just can't seem to get started on fixing anything. Even though I have the time, I just CAN'T move and do it. It's so overwhelming. Being so disorganized is making my anxiety bad. I feel like I could at least make a dent in some of it if only I could have a weekend at home without my son. Yet, I feel terrible asking anyone to help. I don't want to burden anyone.

[Mountainbard]

I've always had a problem asking for help from anybody. It's one of my greatest failings.

[DysphoricManicMom]

Thats exactly how I feel about it, always feel like a burden. But in my situation the people I have to help usually make comments about how tired they are after watching my kids and how one of them was a hard time taking care of, so it kind of so it kind of reinforces my feelings if being a burden, which makes me not want to ask for help until I am at a breaking point again.

Im not a single mom, so props to you. My boyfriend works two jobs and its rare that the kids are with him. So it feels like I am doing it on my own.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

I've always had a problem asking for help from anybody. It's one of my greatest failings.

Mine too. For some weird reason, I think of it as a sign of weakness

[Standup2me]

It's not a weakness, rather, not asking is really more of a weakness

[tanto]

I feel very good imagining cleaning your home for you to bad Ohio is too far from Texas!

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by tanto

I feel very good imagining cleaning your home for you to bad Ohio is too far from Texas!

I love you for the thought

I'm afraid of rocking the boat too, and it goes beyond family members.

I am desperate for car repairs and without them I will have to park my car for the winter and rely on the bus system. Despite a brother who has offered in the past to help me out I am extremely uncomfortable asking him to do so.

The handle to my front door, post box, and toilet tank have needed repairs for months yet I am too afraid to rock the boat and ask my caretaker to fix them. I'm not sure what I'm afraid of. I've convinced myself that I will be introuble for something and don't want to rock the boat.

My art work is on walls of friends and family members - even my psychiatrist's office - yet I can't bring myself to ask for remuneration. This despite my going into debt making and framing them.

[Azvixxen]

I detest asking for help. Biggest weakness I have.

[Trippin2.0]

I have the same problem, can't ask for jack shyt, and when I do muster the courage, I mostly relearn why I refrain from asking.


I'm a single mom too, lucky for me though, my daughter is 11 already so she's not high maintenance and actually helps when I need her to.


She's a Godsend


If you really can't bring yourself to ask someone for a weekend, try tackling the house in small increments.


Set a timer, say for 15 minutes, then you tackle one task until the timer goes off.


Take a break, once again, you decide how long and then start with another task once your break is over.



I tried this method, but my OCD kicks in so quickly it either overrides my depression and I end up getting though everything while ignoring the timer completely, or I end up overwhelmed and in tears because I can't finish but I really want to. LOL


But I hear some members do find this method helpful.


Also, if you're a music lover, crank up the volume while you're cleaning. I cannot for the life if me get through cleaning without music.

[LettinG0]

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

I've always had a problem asking for help from anybody. It's one of my greatest failings.

^ Yes, this. I am getting a teeny bit better as I get older but it used to literally make me sick to my stomach to have to ask anyone for anything.

That said . . . just take a deep breath and ask.......and if you can't then try the timer thing that Trippin suggested.....that sounds like a pretty good approach.

Here's hoping you can make even a little progress and that it helps your anxiety!

[scatterbrained04]

I'll give the timer thing a whirl.

Usually I get so overwhelmed because I can't finish, or because my son is coming behind me messing it up again!

It's like, why bother if I'm going to get no where? I probably wouldn't if I didn't have anxiety about it.

I have a heart attack anytime someone sees inside my house. It's so embarassing. I won't invite anyone over because of it, so I become even more isolated.