How to fight the desire to just give up

I'm currently living with my parents as my wife is sick of me and to use her words "cannot deal with me". Things not looking good for our marriage when you get kicked out of the family home. I am halving my dosage of lactimal from 400 back to 200mg and had had Olanzapene and regular valium added to my concoction when I was hospitalalized a few weeks ago. Problems at home are adding to my stress levels no end and I am fighting the desire to just give up. The withdrawal coming of the Lamotrigine are not fun at all.

I am tired of waking up in the mornings and wishing I didn't wake up. I currently don't work, can't work in my trade due to my memory issues and social anxiety...

Has anyone had experience with backing down off lamotrigine, and how do you fight when you don't have the strength left. I have a strong faith in God, but even that doesn't offer me a lot of comfort because I don't feel worthy. All the mindfullness and self healing techniques, on mornings like this morning I don't care and couldn't be bothered even trying them, just don't have the mental strength.

Now I know the answers are get active, mindfullness, relaxation, living in the moment, sleep, distraction, and medication to name a few. But I don't care is the problem.

Where do you get the strength to fight. This morning I could just give up,,,

Sometimes we just have to give ourselves permission to be.


Life is filled with so much to do, eat, sleep, exercise, work, meditate, medicate, blah blah blah, you'd swear we were human doings instead of human beings.


So when I feel like I have no fight left in me, I change my mantra to "Let go and Let God" and allow myself to just be.


After a while my resolve returns and I can get back to fighting the good fight.


Wounded soldiers leave the battle field in order to recover, so why can't we grant ourselves the same grace when we are wounded in our battles...

Sometimes I just accept that I don't have the strength, and just let myself 'rest' for a while. It's not the same as giving up or quitting. Sometimes I just need a break. Where I don't wake up feeling like I need to "try" anything. But rather like I just need to take it easy and let some stuff process & pass before I start trying whatever again.

It's okay to be exhausted and to need a break. It's not the same thing as giving up. It's okay to just mentally and socially check out for a little bit when there's too much stressful **** beyond your control.

Thats exactly what I needed to hear Copper, thank you

I'm just curious why you're decreasing your lamictal? I just started mine a few wks ago and not at a therapeutic dose yet.

When I'm feeling like this, I cry it out till I can't keep my eyes open anymore in hopes that tomorrow will be different. I think of those who love me even when I can't love myself. I think about how horrible it would be for them to see me go. My family also can't take my crap at times and I just keep my distance. They're easy to dismiss my feelings because they don't understand at all. These feelings do pass though, just remember that "this too shall pass." That's what I say in my head when I'm having a hard time. You'll look back on this someday and think how glad you are to be here I promise you. Good luck Hun.

All I can offer you is my deepest sympathy I'm afraid. I have no answers because I'm feeling the same way! I was just thinking before I saw your post how tired I am of NOT giving up! I'm tired of not just quitting everything! Because I always find a way back after saying I've had all I can take, only to fall flat on my face again. I'm tired of being in a perpetual state of ups and downs and right now I just want to stay where I'm going to end up anyway. If I can't maintain happiness, what's the point of even trying?
But this is not helpful to you, I'm sorry! I'll keep you in my prayers. It's all I can do.

Hi Rx, thank you so much for the things you have said. Yes a good cry helps and tomorrow is another day. Sometimes the nights just aren't long enough.

Re the Lamictal, I was on 400mg and having bad side effects trying to use it as a mono treatment. It worked at first, as I have been at that level for about 9 months now, but it slowly got less and less effective. We are backing it down to hopefully reduce the side effects and combining it with new meds to see if we can get me back to stable.

Oh to be stable. What is stable. Oh yeah its where a horse lives.

Give up, fighting does nothing but bring us pain and distress. Go into a dark room and give up. I did it months at a time. It passed eventually. It sucks.

I have one reason that I can't just give up. I can't hurt my niece like that. She just got old enough to understand and I'm one of her favorite people in the world and I could never do that to her even though I want to frequently right now.

So I guess finding one thing to focus on helped me.

I also just let myself have time that I give up. I lay in bed for hours staring at the wall. I don't eat, I don't bother with getting dressed or showering if I don't have to. I can't cry or I'd do that. My therapist wants me to try to put my feelings down in art work so I'm drawing with crayons a good bit the last week. I let that art work be as dark and sad as I feel.

I know it is so hard; I'm fighting with it every minute right now. I wish I knew the magic answer.

I think the fact that you care enough to post proves that you haven't given up entirely. Relax, go with the flow, and keep on posting. Things will get better. Netflix is my number one therapy, btw. I watch a lot of lengthy British shows, like Doc Martin and Midsummer Murders, when I get depressed. It really helps me get through the day.

I've been going through a really tough time too. I lost my marriage my home and my mind within one year. I'm unemployed and living with my mother. The only thing that I can say is try to face each moment. I hope with all of my heart that you can save your marriage. i wish you the best with your health as well. Just face each day. One day at a time and allow what is happening in your life. I know it hurts and it sucks. Just keep holding on, don't let go. Best to you.