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#1
Nov 05, 2015, 04:52 PM
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Sometimes I'm not very smart... Even with my mom running my finances I took what allowance I had and gambled all but $8 away. Just washed down an anxiety pill with a beer. Feeling sorry for myself yet AGAIN. I have to get control of this gambling addiction. It's ridiculous...why of all things am I addicted to this...it has and continues to ruin all the good in my life. I have no control and I hate myself for it. Hoping to just sleep the rest of today and manage to pick myself up and go to work tomorrow instead of heading back into the black hole of depression that I seem to bring on by my own actions
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__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
 cashart10, CopperStar, LettinG0, newtothis31, raspberrytorte
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#2
Nov 05, 2015, 05:22 PM
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When I had an issue with gambling (mostly instant tickets), in the end I realized that at its core, I had an 'addiction' to the feeling of hope. For the few minutes it took me to buy a ticket and scratch away the sparkles, there was the *chance* that my life might not be so hard and stressful anymore. It was the feeling of hope, I just didn't recognize for a long time that that was what it was that I was experiencing and desperately seeking. It took a long time and hard self-work to learn how to find hope in more reliable things. I hope you can find the same somehow.
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 hopeless2015, LettinG0
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#3
Nov 05, 2015, 05:43 PM
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I used to do scratch cards because I honestly believed I was going to win, every time I scratched one I said to myself this is the one (£250,000) I became addicted but I never won. I eventually convinced myself it was a mugs game and stopped.
I still want to buy them now but I stop myself. |
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#4
Nov 05, 2015, 06:39 PM
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I've been to hell and back with addiction. Alcohol and rx meds were my thing. This is the first time in years that I'm sober and taking my meds like a good girl. Yea it gets boring lol. It's all about that will power which I have very little of!
Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia Seroquel 300mgs Trileptal 300mgs Buspar 45mgs Ativan 1mg PRN Vyvance 50mg PRN |
| hopeless2015
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#5
Nov 05, 2015, 09:17 PM
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There are a lot of people addicted to gambling. My step-dad is so although I don't know first hand I do have a love one. I see what it does to him. He gets behind in bills. He receives disability and gambles all that away. There are support groups available. You can see if one is in your area.
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#6
Nov 06, 2015, 07:56 AM
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Being bipolar affected, we normally don't feel good and chemically out of balance, so we try to fill the "off" feeling with whatever produces dopamine. The pleasure and excitement felt from the anticipation of scoring is an increase in flow of dopamine in some that it is addicting, much like drugs do to drug addicts.
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| Christopher1990
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#7
Nov 06, 2015, 08:25 AM
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Thanks for your comments I've talked with my therapist about the thrill/dopamine seeking and about getting into a program I've tried the gamblers anonymous here and it just feel fake to me. May have to try to find an AA group that fits for me, alcohol is a struggle as well. I have all the books and especially like the daily meditation for women but also know this is going to take hard work on my part. I really can't be trusted alone with money right now. It makes me mad and sad. I'm freaking 45 years old!!
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| raspberrytorte
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#8
Nov 06, 2015, 08:41 AM
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I spent 3 weeks in June in an outpatient program and I identified myself as and alcoholic and gambling addict and I felt like they didn't know what to do with me, I went to two meetings a day and participated in all the group sessions but didn't fell like I deserved to be there I felt like I was stealing a spot someone else much worse off needed, now I know that was my own denial.. Thinking I'm not as bad off as the others, not that I thought I was better than anyone there just felt like a joke because I wasn't fighting the same battle when in fact addiction is addiction...yes my denial is very clear now
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__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#9
Nov 06, 2015, 08:50 AM
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It's all about will-power. AA, gamblers anonymous can only do so much. It comes down to you taking control of your life and realizing what's important. You have to help yourself. Once you give it up, it all becomes easier. Youre 45 so I realize you have been told this.
I've given up drugs. And had a problem with gambling. Truth is, I still gamble, but in moderation. Even though, lately I have been betting on games with money I really can't afford to lose. I've stopped for long periods of time, and then usually go back to it for a couple weeks, its a cycle. I love the rush and the casino and everything you get out of it, but nothing feels worse then losing. Sends me into a depressed state for days, not good for bipolar. Anyways, good luck I hope you can overcome your struggles Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
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#10
Nov 06, 2015, 09:12 AM
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Thank you and good luck to you as well. Yes it's time for me to do the hard part!! Scarey but I have to find that inner strength. And the truth is I have more good days than bad lately I just have to learn to deal with the bad days in a new way and without gambling or drinking. It also sends me into depression for a few days after. I'll figure it out I know I have it in me deep down inside I've just got to pull that strong girl out more often
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
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#11
Nov 06, 2015, 09:13 AM
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I feel you on being a gambling addict. I used to be a truck driver and in doing so I had access to tons of different casinos. In one year I lost about $65000 in gambling and the next year I won over $200000 only to return it to the casinos. This was the biggest argument with my wife while I drove truck. I have not gambled in three years since this last August. One of the ways that helped me stop was I quit driving truck and it made it harder to access the casinos. I live like two hours from Nevada but I am now to lazy to drive there. I still jones for it though but my marriage has been pretty good since I quit playing cards. I wish you the best of luck cause I know how hard this is to quit. It was easier for me to quit Coke and meth twenty years ago than it was to quit gambling.
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#12
Nov 06, 2015, 09:38 AM
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An addict is an addict is an addict.
90 meetings in 90 days, go even if you don't feel like going. I know NAs that go to AA or visa versa just because of the group dynamics. I prefer AA myself, but have gone to NA and Alanon also. I think I tried GA once. If I had willpower, I wouldn't be going to meetings because I'm powerless over addictions and my life is a living hell. 
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| hopeless2015
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