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  #1  
Old Dec 05, 2015, 09:13 PM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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I have done things during a hypo manic episode I cannot forgive myself for. It destroyed my marriage. I have tried to make amends and when I think I have made headway he lets me know what a horrible person I am and how I will never change. I feel my forgiveness is tied up in him whether it is us getting back together or something. I don't know. Since his latest outburst of name calling after telling me he loves me and forgives I am devastated. The guilt is killing me. It is keeping me from moving forward. I am beginning to lose hope in all this. Has anyone ever been through this and how did you forgive yourself?
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  #2  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 10:02 AM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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I went to a 12 step program that helped me work through the guilt. I had to accept that I wasn't perfect. But it's hard to get to forgive yourself as along as there is name calling. I was lucky as my husband forgave me before I was able to forgive myself. Good luck.

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  #3  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 10:04 AM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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Thank you. I have good days and bad and after the latest round it has been really bad.

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__________________
BP II
OCD
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Lamictal 200mg
Prozac 40mg
Topamax 100mg
Klonopin .5mg as needed
  #4  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 10:59 AM
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Pastel Kitten Pastel Kitten is offline
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I know the feeling. I've messed up during hypomania on quite a few occasions. It always seemed like such a good idea at the time. I forgave myself by reminding myself that even if I hadn't messed up in those particular ways, I may have messed up in a completely different way. Mistakes are inevitable. The important part is learning from them and improving ourselves.
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  #5  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 11:54 AM
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Mountainbard Mountainbard is offline
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Guilt is such a corrosive emotion. I've messed up while hypomanic more times than I can count-- bipolar eventually brought me to rock bottom-- homeless, friendless, and jobless. Getting out of that hole took some serious doing. And it was during that time that I came to realize that my guilt was completely counterproductive, as well as misplaced. I began to concentrate on getting better, so I wouldn't make awful mistakes while hypomanic, rather than beat myself up for things I had done in the past when I was really not in control of myself. Sending you good energy.
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  #6  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 03:36 PM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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Thank you. It is good to hear there is hope.

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__________________
BP II
OCD
Anorexia

Lamictal 200mg
Prozac 40mg
Topamax 100mg
Klonopin .5mg as needed
  #7  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 04:11 PM
little turtle little turtle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tbird20tv View Post
Thank you. It is good to hear there is hope.

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tbird there is hope but that guilt is a real toughy...
mountainbard gave a real good reply...
please let us know how you are doing..
  #8  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 07:36 PM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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Up and down. When I am alone is the worst. I want to start begging for his forgiveness. He uses it to hurt me. I am definitely going to increase my therapy.

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__________________
BP II
OCD
Anorexia

Lamictal 200mg
Prozac 40mg
Topamax 100mg
Klonopin .5mg as needed
  #9  
Old Dec 06, 2015, 07:37 PM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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Thank you.

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__________________
BP II
OCD
Anorexia

Lamictal 200mg
Prozac 40mg
Topamax 100mg
Klonopin .5mg as needed
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