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#1
Dec 05, 2015, 09:13 PM
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I have done things during a hypo manic episode I cannot forgive myself for. It destroyed my marriage. I have tried to make amends and when I think I have made headway he lets me know what a horrible person I am and how I will never change. I feel my forgiveness is tied up in him whether it is us getting back together or something. I don't know. Since his latest outburst of name calling after telling me he loves me and forgives I am devastated. The guilt is killing me. It is keeping me from moving forward. I am beginning to lose hope in all this. Has anyone ever been through this and how did you forgive yourself?
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BP II OCD Anorexia Lamictal 200mg Prozac 40mg Topamax 100mg Klonopin .5mg as needed |
 Hemingway, Pastel Kitten
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#2
Dec 06, 2015, 10:02 AM
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I went to a 12 step program that helped me work through the guilt. I had to accept that I wasn't perfect. But it's hard to get to forgive yourself as along as there is name calling. I was lucky as my husband forgave me before I was able to forgive myself. Good luck.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
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#3
Dec 06, 2015, 10:04 AM
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Thank you. I have good days and bad and after the latest round it has been really bad.
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__________________
BP II OCD Anorexia Lamictal 200mg Prozac 40mg Topamax 100mg Klonopin .5mg as needed |
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#4
Dec 06, 2015, 10:59 AM
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I know the feeling. I've messed up during hypomania on quite a few occasions. It always seemed like such a good idea at the time. I forgave myself by reminding myself that even if I hadn't messed up in those particular ways, I may have messed up in a completely different way. Mistakes are inevitable. The important part is learning from them and improving ourselves.
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Do at least one thing you enjoy each day.   Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed "Now I can see all the colors that you see." |
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#5
Dec 06, 2015, 11:54 AM
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Guilt is such a corrosive emotion. I've messed up while hypomanic more times than I can count-- bipolar eventually brought me to rock bottom-- homeless, friendless, and jobless. Getting out of that hole took some serious doing. And it was during that time that I came to realize that my guilt was completely counterproductive, as well as misplaced. I began to concentrate on getting better, so I wouldn't make awful mistakes while hypomanic, rather than beat myself up for things I had done in the past when I was really not in control of myself. Sending you good energy.
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well. "Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
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#6
Dec 06, 2015, 03:36 PM
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Thank you. It is good to hear there is hope.
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__________________
BP II OCD Anorexia Lamictal 200mg Prozac 40mg Topamax 100mg Klonopin .5mg as needed |
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#7
Dec 06, 2015, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
mountainbard gave a real good reply... please let us know how you are doing.. |
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#8
Dec 06, 2015, 07:36 PM
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Up and down. When I am alone is the worst. I want to start begging for his forgiveness. He uses it to hurt me. I am definitely going to increase my therapy.
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__________________
BP II OCD Anorexia Lamictal 200mg Prozac 40mg Topamax 100mg Klonopin .5mg as needed |
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#9
Dec 06, 2015, 07:37 PM
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Thank you.
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__________________
BP II OCD Anorexia Lamictal 200mg Prozac 40mg Topamax 100mg Klonopin .5mg as needed |
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