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#1
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I can't lie about certain things. I think I have my morals.
Then, I've been repeating stories for years that are absolute lies. So much that sometimes I think they're true. Is this a bipolar trait or I'm just a plain stinking liar. |
#2
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I do not lie anymore. However, when I was a teenager, I told heinous lies and, while I take full responsibility for them, there is no denying that the root of my behavior was the instability of bipolar disorder, especially with such an early onset. I am not a liar and, despite the lies I told when I was younger, I don't believe I was a liar then. I was just very very unwell and when I was younger, unwell came with a large degree of manipulation.
What kind of pleasure comes with the lies you tell? Do they make you feel better about yourself? Grandiose? Do you feel you could come clean to those around you? I think lying springs from many things and I do believe that bipolar can be one of them but often the cause is something else.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() fishin fool, Imah, pirilin
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#3
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Hi Cash,
I really can't lie. I've been in trouble for not telling easy lies. Now the stories I invent are Hollywood caliber. I think they add color to my personality, and justify some of my madness. I did come clean to the only true friend I have now. Because my lies involved me getting pension money when I wasn't and he was in need of money. I told him about this and everything else. He's still my friend. Last edited by pirilin; Feb 27, 2016 at 11:28 AM. Reason: Congenital stupidity. |
#4
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Do you tell these stories primarily when you are manic? If so, I would say bipolar is definitely at play. Grandiose thinking and self veneration can certainly be characteristics of mania. We seem to put these emotions and thoughts on others.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() pirilin
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#5
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Yes I do it when manic, which used to be 90% of the time.
I've done a lot for a single life. My life really doesn't need any coloring. 10+ businesses (until I get bored) 3 marriages, 3 kids. Lived in 4 countries. Self medicated for 30 yrs. Had a lot of friends (when I had big money). I can write a novel without the lies and it will sell. But, still, I'm not satisfied. I want more. I want to be Superman. Hehe. I guess is classic mania. |
![]() cashart10
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![]() cashart10, Imah
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#6
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Not a bipolar trait.
Something like grandiosity might make it easier, but it's not a trait of BP unto itself. Consider perception and intent. Something may not be true, but not be a lie. Like...in a strong hypomania, I threw my hands to the sky and shouted, "I'm a f****** genius!!!!!!!!!" Is this a lie? No. I was just crazy full of myself. Grandiosity. (Lol, it involved a marker, aluminum foil, and glue gun --oh how it would have wowed 'em! ![]() Or situations of saying I'll do things. And they don't happen. Not lies. I really DO mean to do them. But I'm not having a realistic perception. But say someone IS trying to deceive. The grandiosity and feeling of invincibility could certainly embolden them to cross the line, but it doesn't cause them to lie. Deceiving is a choice. Lying makes me super anxious (a mix of personal code, paranoia and being terrible at it anyway). The only thing I'm good at lying about is saying things are ok when they totally aren't. |
![]() pirilin
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#7
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Yes, I still do, but nowadays only to myself. Of course that is a/the huge bipolar trait. No intent needed, in my book. I find the whole intention thing confusing, really. We may think we lose control over ourselves, but do we really? Or do we ever have control, just because we act more acceptably?
But as a child I lied all the time. Pretending to be more interesting than I was or just different from how I was. I still think back with nostalgia to the time of my former self. Totally different from who I am now. I know for sure (I clearly recollect the moment I felt I couldn't continue being that way) that lying (together with an incident of aggression) has been (and is) the reason that I got severely depressed for the first time, lasting years. It was (in the eyes of a child) mania-like losing oneself, losing control. I've never been the same since. I still lie, but only to myself (unless "I am fine" is a lie). And I can't lie to others. It must be very much associated with my first, "childish", but very severe Icarus' fall.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() Imah, pirilin
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#8
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I almost never lie. Sometimes I'll use a white lie for my daughter who is 9, or I'll lie to people who ask "how are you?" but I feel terribly guilty if I don't tell the truth. Like icare said, I do lie to myself.
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dx: bipolar II wellbutrin citalopram lamotrigine |
![]() pirilin
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#9
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Yes, all my life-to keep jobs, to soften blows, to feign emotion, to myself. I almost never have to lie now, since beginning the path to understanding, accepting and coming out with my MI.
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BEST OF LUCK TO US ALL! ![]() 600 mg Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) 30 mg Atarax (hydroxyzine) 8 mg Trilafon (perphenazine) Bipolar 1 - Borderline Personality Disorder - Generalized Anxiety Disorder - Eating Disorder |
![]() pirilin
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#10
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Quote:
In fact, spending, wreck less driving, sleeping around are not symptoms of bipolar, they simply fall under "poor judgement," just as I believe lying can fit under both grandiosity and poor judgement. When I was younger and cycling rapidly, I would lie through my teeth for attention (when I was high and inconsiderate) and then crash and through tears confess the truth. In fact, my pdoc told my mom he wouldn't believe anything I said at that point as I was so out of my mind.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
![]() Imah, pirilin
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#11
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Quote:
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![]() pirilin
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![]() pirilin
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#12
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I'm very honest. Not judging. Just answering post...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
![]() pirilin
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#13
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Darn it I just remembered I lie when I'm fully manic. So there you go lol
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
![]() pirilin
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#14
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Quote:
Good for you, that's awesome! I'm working on that journey. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk |
![]() pirilin
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#15
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I tend to lie because i don't want people to know about my MI, in my country I could lose a job/not get accepted into a university so I don't let anyone know any details. I also have not told people about suspending my studies because the would ask why and I can't say bipolar, because I actually really suck at lying. I'm actually better at omitting the truth. Let people come to their own conclusions.
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![]() pirilin
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![]() pirilin
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#16
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* I used to lie a lot to my mother, because not tolerating her anxiety when I spoke hard-truth ~ just simple conditioning really. Most lies are due to conditioning in early age.
* I would lie to my boss to avoid a last-minute call for work - I can't say I'm depressed and I just don't have the energy to move myself. * I lie about my sexual/romantic experience because I'm too embarrassed to tell the truth. * I make little lies to make fun (but never hurt others) This all has nothing to do with bipolarity, only the when slightly manic I can come up with **** but it's a different story.
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Bipolar II ENFP - |
![]() pirilin
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#17
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Constantly. I'm lying to you right now.
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![]() pirilin
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#18
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I don't tell a lot of people about bipolar. Maybe lie if I needed to about how I feel?
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![]() Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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