Thoughts of hurting others

Does anyone else do this? I'm a very quiet person and I would never actually do anything like this, I am actually horrified I even have these thoughts. I havn't in a long time but I think the first time that I can remember was being on a Ferry. I was on the top deck with my daughter who was 3 months old in her stroller and I just had the random thought of throwing her over the edge into the water.Just typing this out, makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I have also had the thought while working with a coworker of taking a pair of scissors that were on the counter and stabbing her with them. I didn't dislike her, and I would never ever do that to anyone, it was just a thought that popped into my head suddenly.
These thoughts have happened a few more times and like I said I would never do it, and I don't think I would ever even tell anyone because I don't want someone to misunderstand and think I am crazy, dangerous or a danger to my kids because I would absolutely never do anything like that.
Anyone else have these thoughts?

Yes, intense feeling XT called them intrusive thoughts.

Nope. But I've seen it on TV.
What do you think causes these violent thoughts?
Have you shared with your Pdoc or T?

I haven't shared these thoughts with anyone except a woman my age who used to be my neighbour. She has OCD, anxiety and possibly a few more issues and told me she had those thoughts too so I told her I did aswell, but I couldn't imagine telling anyone else. Honestly if someone told me they had thoughts like this I wouldn't trust them so I don't want people to think I would actually do these things.

And I have no idea what causes them, they would just pop into my head. I also have gone for walks along the river close by (there is a walking trail along the river and a bridge) and it totally relaxes me to just stare into the rushing water, and I have thought a few times of jumping. Which is wierd because I am not, nor have I ever been suicidal.

Hi Melmo and welcome to the BP area of the forum. I talked to you in the anxiety area about you possibly being dysphoric and BP.

I actually have a thread in here about how I've been fantasizing about revenge on my old boss and coworkers. So yes I understand. And I got a lot of mixed replies. No I'm not going to act on my thoughts but one can dream right? I usually only get these thoughts about people that have hurt me or screwed me over in life. It is obsessive and many people with BP get this. When you finally get in to see a pdoc and T then maybe discus this or meds that can help with these kind of thoughts. I'm on risperdal (as I told you, for my anger) and it does help. So I take it only when I'm like this (I could take it every day but I take it as needed). You're not alone here and we're all here for you. In the back on my mind of course I HOPE you don't have BP and dysphoria but I think at this point you need to be screened asap. I hope you feel better soon and get the care you need. ((Hugs)). Feel free to PM me if you're feeling really bad and just need to talk.

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Hey, yes I remember you You were very helpful.
I actually thought of this after reading your thread. I don't get these thoughts as revenge, they're just random and pop into my head without warning. I remember actually being disgusted and horrified at myself when I had that thought involving my daughter. That's the only time I have had thoughts like that involving my kids, the rest of the time it's been other people or myself.
I meant to call my dr today to make an appt but I forgot, so will have to wait until Monday.

I believe this falls under OCD. There is a subsection on it in the following Y-BOCS checklist.

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&sourc...RgQKo04SHgsIJA

I'll check it out, I had heard that but one symptom of OCD wouldn't mean I have OCD right, it's just wierd and random.

who doesnt have thoughts of hurting people?

as long as your not doing it who gives a ****?

I mean, I do other OCD like things, like counting ceiling tiles, reading licence pates on cars and reading them over and over. When I wash my hands after touching something really dirty like after cleaning the toilet or litterbox, I wash my hands 2-3 times before I believe they are clean. This one is really wierd and hard to explain, but tongue clicking compulsion etc. It seems like a lot lol now that I list them but they aren't really keeping me from functioning, they're just wierd things I do.

You may in fact find more. Either way, the results should give you a better understanding of what you are dealing with and possibly then some sort of starting point to cope/deal with these thoughts.

Oh, and checking things. I check the stove a few times before I believe it's actually off. Every night I check the door to see if it's locked. I can see it's locked but I actually have to turn the knob to check. And I can put my money/debit card in my wallet and close it, but then I have to open my wallet one or two more times and look to see that it actually is in there, maybe I imagined it. I really am strange.

I dated a guy who had to have every can/cologne/medicine label facing outward. He was a major *** to me though so id go and mess them up on him lol. I know it's probably mean but if you only knew the things he'd done to me... Messing up his cans is nothing.

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LOL that's funny.

oh ok

yeah i used to do OCD things as a kid. now i just have stim ticks when im immobile

I know what stimming is, but what are stim ticks?

idk i just call them that

twitches may be the better word

Yeah, I get thoughts like that sometimes. I've gotten used to them, though, and do my best to ignore them. I basically accept them for what they are, and I make sure I don't act on them.

The more I've accepted the thoughts, the less intrusive they've become. I really don't get them as often anymore. I mean, I used to be afraid of getting them, and being afraid of them just made me think about them more. Then the more I thought about them, the more I'd get them. So yeah, "accepting" those thoughts for what they are really helps.

I also have gotten sexual thoughts, like imagining people naked, who I really shouldn't be thinking about. Dark sexual fantasies that I won't describe. I kind of forgot about it because it hasn't happened in awhile.

Yea I don't let them get to me too much, it still does bother me a bit though. I guess because I know I would never act on them is why it isn't concerning.

omg.. what a savage

lol, I know right

is it family members?

Sometimes.