[Velouria]

Aside from generic symptomology, how do you know if you're hypomanic or elevated?

Since Friday, I keep feeling like I need to keep talking even though I don't really feel like talking. My mind keeps going from one thing to another and I keep forgetting what I'm doing as a result, unless I repeat the task I'm supposed to be completing in my head, or try to keep reminding myself of it. I'm becoming oversensitive and a little agitated. I've been pretty productive but more frequently finding it hard to focus. I feel great and awful all at once. I feel more creative, wittier, able to form insightful connections in my head between unrelated things. I'm afraid the wrong thing could come out of my mouth at any moment in response to anything, because even the bad things I might say don't seem to be that bad. More impulsive. Reactionary to stupid, meaningless things.

Not asking for a diagnosis, but if anyone can identify with any of this, I'd like to know. I'm sorry if this is a bunch of babble, but if I don't get it out as it comes, it disappears and I might forget.

Aside from all this, what are some things unique to you that are potential red flags that you might be elevated or hypomanic?

I don't know the answers to these questions but decided to give you a (((hugs))) anyways... blessings and tc

[pirilin]

^^^ Ditto.

I hope this helps:

I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until August 2015. In the past, I was diagnosed as having ADHD and MDD, so I didn't know what a hypomanic episode was or when one was occurring. Once I was diagnosed as bipolar, I started becoming more aware of my emotions, and I worked with my therapist to identify when I was experiencing hypomania. My therapist even said that it's difficult for many people to identify because everyone experiences hypomania differently. (The textbook definition is only that: a textbook definition. Plenty of people fit in the "NOS" category, which doesn't fit the textbook definition, so please consider that.)

It helps to keep track of your emotions, either mentally or on paper. Just write journal entries about your day and you'll start to see patterns. It can be a little boring, but when you think you're experiencing hypomania, you can look back at your previous entries and compare.

[Bipolar Warrior]

I identify with almost all of it. I know I'm hypomanic when I can't sit still; I'm on my laptop and I can't keep my legs still. I feel agitated and fidgety. I often feel like hiding in my room because I know I am in what I call "troll mode" where I feel like I want to bite people's heads off just because they exist.

Also, I usually lose my filter - you know that thing you have that stops you from saying every thought that pops into your head? That pretty much just disappears, so I will say things I normally wouldn't because for some reason I can't seem to stop it from coming out. I also feel that pressure to keep talking, even though I am actually driving myself insane with it. I think I need to shut up, but I can't.

My mind also does the jumping from one thought to another thing, or it just feels like everything is spinning into nonsense and I can't concentrate on anything. My hypomania episodes are hardly ever pleasant experiences. I don't become productive, I feel on edge and become unpleasant. Fortunately they mostly just last for a week or so. Or maybe not fortunately, as I usually then plummet back into depression, but at least I feel more sociable when I'm depressed. It's easier to hide, even if it still sucks, you know?

Anyway, you are most certainly not alone.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by omegalamed

I don't know the answers to these questions but decided to give you a (((hugs))) anyways... blessings and tc

Aww, thank you!

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by pirilin

^^^ Ditto.

Thank you so much!

[gina_re]

I think it's different for everyone. Your description does sound like it could be. But sometimes it's not always easy to tell. You may not realize it until after the fact. It varies. For me, the longer I have to deal with this, it becomes "easier" to identify that upswing.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I'm BPII and it's still hard to tell. My first 3 episodes were clear as day, a sharp swing starting with waking up one day feeling absolutely wired and as if I was on drugs.

This year, not sure. I would rate myself a 6 or 7 out of 10, 5 being normal, but I feel as if I am acting normal for the first time.

Maybe I'm used to it? Maybe it has become more gradual and drawn out into more elaborate episodes?

Who knows?

But seriously, does anyone know why?

Maybe my other episodes were gradual too but I had less insight?

[hahayeahtotallylol]

My only clue is I feel mildly omnipotent, fairly hot headed - but I still wake up tired. That's the thing. Usually I pop out of bed as if I had been drinking coffee in my sleep..

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Could be an after effect of smoking though. The tiredness. I've been smoking to chill me out. But still I think my hypo would trump a marijuana after effect when I wake up..

The biggest sign that i'm hypomanic is my change in sleeping pattern. When i'm depressed i sleep from midnight to noon but when i am manic i'm up at dawn or earlier. Sometimes i just stay up all night decorating my home or cleaning or working on some art. The change in energy level is dramatic.

I also want to socialize lots when hypomanic. I take my dog out when i know my neighbors are gathering for the morning dog party and have a grand time. I feel optimistic and full of hope and bonhomie.

Unfortunately, i am indulgent with money and with trying to save for retirement in 15 years i really can't afford my hm spending. I'm due for my Spring hm any time now and have resolved NOT to spend like a fool this time.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I find that most people on here get euphoria and clean or do productive things when hypo. Totally different for me. I stay in bed but I must be on my phone texting or playing games and always posting a ton on here and on fb. Then wake up the next day feeling like an idiot lol. And I ramble on about nothing for a long time. I'll talk (type) in circles Cuz I just HAVE to get it it out. However when it comes to actual human contact, it's hard to get words out and I'll stutter or restart what I'm saying. It's like my thoughts are going too fast to get it all out. I also sleep very little and uneasy. I have insomnia and take APs for sleep but when I'm hypo, nothing will do the trick. A few hours if I'm lucky. Hypo or not I think any sudden shift is important to address when you're BP.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I hope this helps:

I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until August 2015. In the past, I was diagnosed as having ADHD and MDD, so I didn't know what a hypomanic episode was or when one was occurring. Once I was diagnosed as bipolar, I started becoming more aware of my emotions, and I worked with my therapist to identify when I was experiencing hypomania. My therapist even said that it's difficult for many people to identify because everyone experiences hypomania differently. (The textbook definition is only that: a textbook definition. Plenty of people fit in the "NOS" category, which doesn't fit the textbook definition, so please consider that.)

It helps to keep track of your emotions, either mentally or on paper. Just write journal entries about your day and you'll start to see patterns. It can be a little boring, but when you think you're experiencing hypomania, you can look back at your previous entries and compare.

Yeah, see, I was diagnosed with ADD and MDD as well, interestingly. And I do think I'm ADD. However, I'm able to take Adderall without "bouncing off the walls" as my old therapist put it. And it helps me a lot. Still, after a couple of years of consideration and attention to fluctuations, I do think that I might get hypomanic, and suspect I did before I really started seriously considering that I might be somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've been fairly vigilant about tracking in one way or another since the fall of 2014. I don't always write notes, though. Mainly my tracking is through apps. (Btw, Ginger.io is a very good app for tracking and support.) I always forget to look back at notes. :/

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by Bipolar Warrior

I identify with almost all of it. I know I'm hypomanic when I can't sit still; I'm on my laptop and I can't keep my legs still. I feel agitated and fidgety. I often feel like hiding in my room because I know I am in what I call "troll mode" where I feel like I want to bite people's heads off just because they exist.

Also, I usually lose my filter - you know that thing you have that stops you from saying every thought that pops into your head? That pretty much just disappears, so I will say things I normally wouldn't because for some reason I can't seem to stop it from coming out. I also feel that pressure to keep talking, even though I am actually driving myself insane with it. I think I need to shut up, but I can't.

My mind also does the jumping from one thought to another thing, or it just feels like everything is spinning into nonsense and I can't concentrate on anything. My hypomania episodes are hardly ever pleasant experiences. I don't become productive, I feel on edge and become unpleasant. Fortunately they mostly just last for a week or so. Or maybe not fortunately, as I usually then plummet back into depression, but at least I feel more sociable when I'm depressed. It's easier to hide, even if it still sucks, you know?

Anyway, you are most certainly not alone.

Yes! I get into that "troll mode" as well, and I seethe. I'll do it quietly, but anyone can tell. Or I'll have a ridiculous reaction to something that's relatively benign, out of nowhere, and suddenly I'm agitated and wish I had a flamethrower. Or become the flamethrower. And I've been really afraid of losing my filter this week, since last Friday.

God, I am really identifying with you -- especially with the feeling that everything is spinning into nonsense -- I think that could be what causes a lot of agitation, maybe, that sort of mental confusion. Thank you for responding, you've given me a lot to think about.

[Velouria]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

I'm BPII and it's still hard to tell. My first 3 episodes were clear as day, a sharp swing starting with waking up one day feeling absolutely wired and as if I was on drugs.

This year, not sure. I would rate myself a 6 or 7 out of 10, 5 being normal, but I feel as if I am acting normal for the first time.

Maybe I'm used to it? Maybe it has become more gradual and drawn out into more elaborate episodes?

Who knows?

But seriously, does anyone know why?

Maybe my other episodes were gradual too but I had less insight?

Yes! I feel like I'm on cocaine sometimes - and the wonderful thing about it is, the good part lasts longer. At least for a few days. Usually though, it goes sour real fast and I tend to get "rages," as a friend put it.

I kind of understand what you are saying, about feeling like you are acting normal for the first time. I think I've gotten a better handle on things over the past two years, and am learning how to modify certain behaviors. Still, when this happens, it's still a surprise and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I've lately been finding it hard to keep up with my thoughts, and they keep colliding, but I feel so inspired and I love it. Even the negative thoughts seem inspired. I can't explain it.

I think on a scale from 5 to 10, 5 being normal, at the moment I'd rate maybe a 7, sometimes closer to 8. But that's just the past six days. I think I might cycle a little rapidly.

I think Bipolar Disorder is something that can gradually progress in some, maybe as stressors are added through life. But I also think that the more insight you gain, the better able you are to cope with certain symptoms and modify behavior accordingly. I had to tell someone today that I couldn't discuss a certain topic with them because my interpretations and perception of what they were saying caused some paranoia and frustration in that regard on my end. In the past, I wouldn't have been able to articulate that, and would have jumped to a firm conclusion and become a wall of silence until I forgot what I was mad about.

So yes, I think you are right about the insight part, definitely.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

You say you can't explain inspiring negative thoughts - allow me to explain how I see it:

Violence - What does it matter if it's serving justice? Don't I deserve to be the animal we all inherently are?

Leaving - Sure, my job is respectable, but weren't we meant to live for so much more? Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live, inside. (do you know this song, sweet pea? I won't cite my sources.)

Arrogance: if I am more capable, why hide it? Most upper management tend to be head strong, self absorbed and ruthless, so how can that be problematic at a lower level with younger folk like me? Sure, I'll say good morning, offer to stay late, but you coffee.. But when we are grinding away, allow me to take the wheel and steer. Because let's be honest.. This is my god damn car. You just are along for the ride.. Button pressor. Allow me to solve the problems while you leave early to attend to your wife and kids. By ALL means.. I'm more than happy to run the show, and upper management wants people like me at the end of the day.

Irritation: yes, you bother me. If I hide it, it will only make it worse. Have some balls and take my wrath, because I'd do the same for you.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

Or is that just me being an adult baby asshole who needs to justify everything

[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by hahayeahtotallylol

Or is that just me being an adult baby asshole who needs to justify everything

The violence thing might be just you (maybe not?).

I think the rest is quite sensible in any situation.

As far as upper management is concerned (luckily I no longer have any) I would definitely tell them how to do their job. So in my opinion, you might let go of some restraint there. Sounds a bit timid.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I see. Yes I think just showing my capabilities is a good thing, and luckily my line of work promotes that. I just don't want to come off as "unmanageable" at first, as ultimately the one who decides if I get promoted is in fact my superiors