[gina_re]

Things are going well between us, I'm happy.
I got a lot of work done this past week.
However I had another follow up today from the dental surgery I had a couple of weeks ago and there are still issues. I have to undergo another procedure because of some new bone growth back there needs to be taken care of. And now that spot is sore from where he tried to get it out. Why is it dragging on for a month now? But I love my dentist, he's so nice I actually don't mind going!

[Gabyunbound]

I know I write about Seroquel all the time, but it's usually on my mind. I have to get up at 5:30am for work tomorrow and am afraid of not getting up on time, afraid of being too tired to do a good job at work. I hate (and was surprised) that my pdoc said I need to take it at this dose for 8 weeks after my depression to make sure it doesn't come back. I hate it in general. I hope I can lower it again once I hit the 8-week mark. I'm counting the days.

[OctobersBlackRose]

My mood was a.bit okay today, the depression is still there, but at least.I didn't feel.like crying all day, instead I just stayed in bed most of the day, except for the couple hours I watched TV with my Grandpa. Also washed my pillow, cause it smelled funny. Now I'm laying in bed and watching old game shows until I get tired enough to fall asleep...which will probably be 5hrs from now, earlier if I'm lucky.

Also.chasing my cat around the house, and he bit my nose lol

[Gabyunbound]

I'm bouncing off the walls -I think b/c of too much caffeine and chocolate (yum!)- but hopefully med will zonk me out soon (I'm on PST) so I can sleep. I keep starting new threads when I should probably get off of here and go to bed, but I love this place too much!

[Coconutzo]

I'm feeling ok today!!!
Therapy yesterday helped me put things into perspective, and I feel like I'm growing.
Also I'm wearing a killer pair of new shoes.

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[Icare dixit]

Feeling more human and free and still very grounded.

It goes to show fear projects just don't work on some (at all), unless you campaign against yourself, you fear yourself or you're naive, young and normal, well-off.

BPD: British personality disorder.

[Unrigged64072835]

Feel a little bit better than previously. Still have a lot to do but no motivation. Just need to kick myself in the butt and get started on something.

[hopeless2015]

Still struggling this week, it took everything I had to come into work at noon, I almost turned around. We have a stupid summer party for work I have to attend now and my husband made plans with another couple tonight. I will make myself do these things, I can't stay locked up at home forever

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Okay, I've kind of given up...

I've tried to remain positive in all my posts, but in reality, I feel like complete s***. I've had suicidal ideation for like 2 days now.

Pdoc gave me Abilify to try, but IDK if I actually want to take it. Some people report significant weight gain with it, which, in all honesty, is putting me off. (I hope I don't offend anyone, but I think you know where I'm coming from.)

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Okay, I've kind of given up...

I've tried to remain positive in all my posts, but in reality, I feel like complete s***. I've had suicidal ideation for like 2 days now.

Pdoc gave me Abilify to try, but IDK if I actually want to take it. Some people report significant weight gain with it, which, in all honesty, is putting me off. (I hope I don't offend anyone, but I think you know where I'm coming from.)

I've been on it for 6 months, or so, and have seen my weight fluctuate both up and down. Give it a shot for whatever amount of time is required to titrate up to therapeutic levels. Take care of yourself.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Same s*** different day, still can't shake this depression, and found out this afternoon that Monday my Grandpa will be evaluated fir hime hospice care. I didn't want it to be that time yet, but my Grandma and I can't do everything on our own, and he needs the care and comfort, so I guess it is that time. So that's what's going on on around here today, oh and I think I hear my cat meowing at my door, better let him in...

[pirilin]

Lol, what a day. All good.

[gina_re]

Another exhausting week in the books, but I had a great night to end it. Time to rest up for tomorrow!

[JustJace2u]

SSDD here. My life has been a real roller coaster of emotion today. I'm just glad it's the weekend.

[A Hobbit]

Everything was well today until, for no reason, I spiraled into a major anxiety attack. Very agitated. I wanted to talk to my wife about it but couldn't. She finally noticed that I was pacing the entire house frantically and asked what was wrong. I asked her to come into the bedroom (away from the kids) and then I tried to express the thousands of thoughts shouting in my head. I couldn't, of course, but she just hugged me until it settled down a bit.

Then I pounded some bourbon and the rest of the day was much better

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by A Hobbit

Everything was well today until, for no reason, I spiraled into a major anxiety attack. Very agitated. I wanted to talk to my wife about it but couldn't. She finally noticed that I was pacing the entire house frantically and asked what was wrong. I asked her to come into the bedroom (away from the kids) and then I tried to express the thousands of thoughts shouting in my head. I couldn't, of course, but she just hugged me until it settled down a bit.

Then I pounded some bourbon and the rest of the day was much better

What admirable restraint! Give yourself lots of kudos for containing it to the bedroom with your wife and not in front of the kids. ( high five)

[Wander]

Got possible Steven Johnson rash from new meds. So frustrated as it was working. Modafinil it is and it was really helping my concentration and mood. Back to square one. Hopefully my pdoc will be able to get me on Ritalin or Dexamphetamines as it seems I have ADHD. Problem is they are very complicated to prescribe due to the severe restrictions on prescribing them.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by A Hobbit

Everything was well today until, for no reason, I spiraled into a major anxiety attack. Very agitated. I wanted to talk to my wife about it but couldn't. She finally noticed that I was pacing the entire house frantically and asked what was wrong. I asked her to come into the bedroom (away from the kids) and then I tried to express the thousands of thoughts shouting in my head. I couldn't, of course, but she just hugged me until it settled down a bit.

Then I pounded some bourbon and the rest of the day was much better

You make a good team it seems!
bizi

[bizi]

I find that if I drink too much then that interferes with my sleeping.
I usually sleep with .5mg of klonipin which I took at 1130 but took an extra 1mg just now to see if that will help me. have been online too which is stimulating....
sigh
bizi
I hate staring at the clock. need to get to sleep as the alarm is set for 8am, have to work tomorrow.

Hasn't been going so great, and today was no exception. BUT! I forced myself to get up and did 2 errands that I've put off for months. Then puttered around the yard. Decent sense of accomplishment, and it did help frame of mind for sure. Going to take a shower now! Woo!

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Okay, I've kind of given up...

I've tried to remain positive in all my posts, but in reality, I feel like complete s***. I've had suicidal ideation for like 2 days now.

Pdoc gave me Abilify to try, but IDK if I actually want to take it. Some people report significant weight gain with it, which, in all honesty, is putting me off. (I hope I don't offend anyone, but I think you know where I'm coming from.)

Isn't there something you can do like taking sick days to recuperate? How did it go with the plan of gathering your thoughts and reflect, I remember you were mentioning that before. I know how the co-workers that you described could be as annoying as ****, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to handle the situation like nothing at all. Who do you have in IRL? You could maybe let some introcept, while you keep doing the introspection, so you won't let yourself blow up.

You sound like you're sailing on a rough sea right now, all hands on deck! Plain water or a spiced rum, that'll be your choice, at the end of the day, you're the captain of the ship, please remember to send out a distress signal when you feel like your life is in a tumble dryer. Don't give up on your sanity.

Edited to add: Ali didn't die for nothing. He could be watching over you right now. It's not your job to throw in the towel, that's what a cornerman's for. Granted, it is your fight, the round continues till someone rings the bell announcing that you fell. Now's not the time yet. Be the champion in your own ring.

Hmmm. It is early morning here. I'm trying to stay quiet so I won't wake anyone.

I didn't sleep last night. At all.

My reading concentration disappeared recently. So my books are sitting here.

I feel in limbo. Strangely fragile. I made a thread on it last night. Please read it and reply if that's alright.

In sum, I feel a mood episode coming on. I just don't know which kind. My default is mixed. I may be #%*%.

Hmmm .... that faux cursing right up there prompted me to launch in on the status of my sex life. Wtf?! I caught myself and some inner alarm went off.

That is a sign of mania for me. Or who knows. I'm thinking too fast to type one thing. Thinking five things and can't decide which to type. Type, delete, rinse and repeat.

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[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by rainyday107

Hmmm. It is early morning here. I'm trying to stay quiet so I won't wake anyone.

I didn't sleep last night. At all.

My reading concentration disappeared recently. So my books are sitting here.

I feel in limbo. Strangely fragile. I made a thread on it last night. Please read it and reply if that's alright.

In sum, I feel a mood episode coming on. I just don't know which kind. My default is mixed. I may be #%*%.

Hmmm .... that faux cursing right up there prompted me to launch in on the status of my sex life. Wtf?! I caught myself and some inner alarm went off.

That is a sign of mania for me. Or who knows. I'm thinking too fast to type one thing. Thinking five things and can't decide which to type. Type, delete, rinse and repeat.

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Hope today goes better for you

Ummm. I'm a kind person by nature but if I get really hyper, strange, inappropriate...basically ANNOYING...just give me a shout out on the fragile thread I made. I'll get the hint and relax, lurk or log off and go do something that sounds alright.

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[pirilin]

Awake. aware and alert.