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#1
Jun 21, 2016, 07:58 AM
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Continued from last thread.
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 bizi, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi
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#2
Jun 21, 2016, 10:21 AM
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Just returned from our 12 day trip to Italy and Paris. what fun!
Was pretty hypo with planning and organizing this trip and drank quite a lot over there. But did not have any hangovers so that was good! Europe is beautiful. sorry it is over but glad to be home too. bizi |
 Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, JustJace2u, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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| JustJace2u, Takeshi
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#3
Jun 21, 2016, 11:00 AM
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I don't want to do anything. Everything is meaningless, but I feel restless. I also over scheduled myself when I was feeling better, and now I have too many obligations. I feel overwhelmed. I don't know what the point is. Of any of it. Treatment, illness, maintaining friendships or my relationship, trying to be a better human, etc.
I probably just need to go back to bed for a little while Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, gina_re, OctobersBlackRose
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#4
Jun 21, 2016, 11:27 AM
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Just woke up. With the runs. Being like this for a few days.
Too old to destroy the town maybe?.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
| OctobersBlackRose
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#5
Jun 21, 2016, 11:31 AM
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i am about to eat dinner.
(another un successfull day.) yay,... |
| bizi, Icare dixit, OctobersBlackRose
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#6
Jun 21, 2016, 11:44 AM
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Mind is,all over the place, took an anxiety pill and going to walk with a friend over the lunch hour, maybe I'll be able to stay on task this afternoon. On a good note I made it in to work on time today
 Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| bizi, gina_re, OctobersBlackRose
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#7
Jun 21, 2016, 02:30 PM
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Oh Lordy it feels so good to just sit!!! Work is gonna kill me yet. It's so good to be home!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous45023, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi
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#8
Jun 21, 2016, 02:56 PM
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Picked up my meds. Feel tired and bummed out. I'm so tired of this, even with the pdoc tweaking the Abilify. I just want to take a long nap.
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| Anonymous45023, bizi, OctobersBlackRose
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#9
Jun 21, 2016, 05:30 PM
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Feel okay. Got some maybe worrisome news on the health front, but I am telling myself it is manageable, that if it was too bad, I would feel physically bad, and I'm just a little tired. Looking forward to my new job.
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| bizi, OctobersBlackRose
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#10
Jun 21, 2016, 05:53 PM
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Had a pretty awful day today.
I've also been incredibly unproductive at work... I'm falling behind on things. My new boss probably isn't going to be too pleased, and I haven't even met him yet... I'm also totally overwhelmed with organizing my business trip. I have no clue what I'm doing. Who knew that planning for a trip would be so complicated  I also have no idea where the hell my passport is..
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| Anonymous45023, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi, Wander
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#11
Jun 21, 2016, 08:56 PM
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Went over to my Dads today, forcing myself to get out if the house, got a cute shirt from Forever 21. Almost didn't get my med recipient due to an insurance screw up, made me freak out, and my brain completely shut down. Did end up working out in the end and I got my meds, but still, idk what to do if this happens again... Still feel really depressed though, how can I have a mostly good day and still feel like crap? That's depression I guess, good days don't matter cause the depression is still there...
__________________
Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
| Anonymous59125, Takeshi
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#12
Jun 21, 2016, 08:59 PM
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I'm feeling very physically sick today. My mood is stable. I feel strong and capable mentally but physically worthless.
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| Anonymous45023, bizi, Icare dixit, Nammu, Takeshi
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#13
Jun 21, 2016, 10:02 PM
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I had a fairly pleasant day sleeping in in the morning, chatting with the gang at the drop-in in the afternoon and watching my Bo Burnham comedy specials in the evening.
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| bizi
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#14
Jun 22, 2016, 02:43 AM
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Quote:
I blame the bipolar weather. The weather stole my BP.  (for the record: I'm always just physically ill)
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| Anonymous59125
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#15
Jun 22, 2016, 03:01 AM
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Quote:
 Did you add it recently or am I just mostly unaware of details (I am, but I'm very much aware of change, but it could just be a change in my perception: a state change).Does anyone have the same problem? I strongly believe it's a BP trait marker, a BP hallmark. Essential. It's also a state marker, in some way, because mania makes it worse, I believe, and it's least a characteristic of depression, any diminished awareness being mostly due to lack of focus and memory problems. There's quite some supporting evidence.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#16
Jun 22, 2016, 06:03 AM
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IPn right now. Very agisted, irritable, inpatient and low. Lost all hope. Been getting worse over the last week. Doc thinks it may be the Latuda but wants to give it another couple days. I can't settle down. Trying to hope but cannot see it right now. Desperate. Need a miricle right now. I cannot go Through this much longer. I will die.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Icare dixit, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi
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| Coconutzo
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#17
Jun 22, 2016, 06:16 AM
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Bad night. Pacing, screaming, pulling hair, raging, racing mind, anxiety so intense I would have done anything for a benzo, eventual panic attack, four hours of sleep again.
Probably going to cry in about five seconds.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Icare dixit, Takeshi
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| Coconutzo
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#18
Jun 22, 2016, 09:22 AM
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Quote:
Have you called your pdoc today? You sound miserable. (((((HUGS))))) bizi |
| raspberrytorte
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#19
Jun 22, 2016, 10:30 AM
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Therapy appointment. Therapist thinks I'm manic.
HOW CAN I BE ****ING MANIC WHEN I FEEL HORRIBLE!!!! WHAT IS ****ING WRONG WITH ME!!!!! Work today. I'm not exactly in control of myself right now and I'm worried I'm going to tell someone to **** off. Therapist: Oh blah blah blah... Some people are irritable and agitated when they're manic... Just... ****!!!! I sat and swore at her the entire appointment. Emergency pdoc appointment tomorow. No idea how she's going to help me. I don't know what's ****ing wrong with me!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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#20
Jun 22, 2016, 10:37 AM
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Quote:
So I can just maintain they're mad and keep loving myself.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| Anonymous59125
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| Takeshi
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#21
Jun 22, 2016, 10:47 AM
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That wild agitation strikes me when I'm manic sometimes too. Usually right before I get to confused to function. I hope you get releif and have good people around you!
So sorry raspberry! :  :Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| raspberrytorte
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#22
Jun 22, 2016, 11:08 AM
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I called in. I just had too! I CAN'T ****ING GO IN LIKE THIS TODAY. I'm going to get fired. They're going to ****ing FIRE ME!!!!!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, fishin fool, gina_re, Icare dixit, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin, Takeshi, Wander
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#23
Jun 22, 2016, 01:49 PM
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The poker Gods have abandoned me. I need a cleansing. Called the Santeria Babalawo and the Voodoo Woman in a conference call. They say no luck for poor piri this week.
I'm running out of hope. And more important, out of chips. May the Great Indian Visir bless me. Sure as hell need a blessing.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
| Anonymous59125, fishin fool, OctobersBlackRose
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#24
Jun 22, 2016, 02:13 PM
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Ugh, I need labs drawn for the Depakote level. I forgot about it when I was picking up my meds. Guess that will be tomorrow, then.
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| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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#25
Jun 22, 2016, 06:29 PM
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I had a meltdown today, literally fine one minute then not the next, sitting get in my car at lunch. I started it up and drove home for the day. Seems to have passed but wtf
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, gina_re, OctobersBlackRose
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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