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#101
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today started off pretty well..
found something on the internet- i didn't know existed, a recording of a jingle that's used on 1 of our local radio stations (and i'm all for getting things that i listen to on a daily bases, so this was cool!) also tried a new fruit juice, which was lovely and refreshing (and now can't remember what it was, so i've no hope in hell of buying it again) ended up watching a dvd backwards (i wasn't really paying attention to what i was doing, or the programme) and i started from the end and worked my way back to the start, but still got the storyline pretty good. (i think it's the first time i've actually done that, but it was amusing!) i wanted to say something else but it's gone.. |
![]() gina_re, OctobersBlackRose
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#102
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yes that's it..
this afternoon had a bit of an episode.. 2 people standing behind me with knives ready to stab me, but it didn't last long- i managed to walk away and prepare my dinner |
![]() gina_re, OctobersBlackRose
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#103
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Being lazy today a load of laundry is all that's going to happen
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() OctobersBlackRose
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#104
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Quote:
being lazy is the best works for me most days |
![]() Nammu
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#105
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Just feelin good. ☀️
![]() ![]() Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Takeshi
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#106
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Trying the land from mania. Feeling like crap today because I feel like I am bypassing stability and headed toward depression. Only cried once today. Energy is still under my skill. Wish I could take that off. I can feel the air on my arms, I'm so sensitive. Sunglasses and cloudy skies. Trying to hold it together.
__________________
"I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." ~Lewis Carroll Bipolar I PTSD |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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![]() Coconutzo
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#107
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Not feeling too good today a little nauseous. As of right now I feel like nothing seems real anymore. I pretty much believe no one is real, this world isn't real, and I'm not even real, and all this is just and illusion, a hallucination. And I can't think straight at all, can't seem to catch my thoughts, they're racing so fast. Idk what is going on with me, and I'm having a hard time telling what is and isn't real anymore...
__________________
Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125
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![]() Coconutzo
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#108
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OctobersBlackRose, I was where you are at a few months ago. Nothing seemed real. It was terrible but it did pass. I sure hope you begin to feel better soon. (((Hugs)))
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![]() OctobersBlackRose
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![]() OctobersBlackRose
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#109
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Quote:
Are you my twin? That's what I did today...one half load and a bunch of computer games. ![]()
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() bizi
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#110
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Quote:
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() Anonymous59125, bizi
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#111
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I should be getting ready for work....I know that I have an internet addiction. It is so entertaining! We are having some friends over for a light dinner. Salmon edamome and fruit salad that she is bringing.
bizi |
#112
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Crying all morning over garbage in probably making up in my head. Heading to the gym. Thank god my workout partner is the most positive person alive
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Daonnachd, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin
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![]() Icare dixit
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#113
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Poker is not being good to me this morning. I'm chillin here.
After a strong coffee, time to fight again.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
![]() Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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![]() Coconutzo
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#114
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Amazing. First real therapy. Very good therapist. She knew me.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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![]() Coconutzo, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Takeshi
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#115
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I'm on a lunch break here at work with French fries, grilled cheese, and a double chocolate chip muffin. And juice as well as half an energy drink from this morning. Junk food overload. I already was a little irritated from the events that occurred yesterday. But now everything that I'm working on today is pissing me off too. These things are stupid and make no sense and I'm done for the day. Hence the carb filled lunch. Plus I got an email about my car payment. The paper work from the trade in has not been completed to show that I have the new car. So now it shows that I'm past due. I already called to check on it, but still!! Is it time to go yet...?
![]() Edit: And here is the icing on the cake...I left my cellphone at the café where I bought my lunch. Luckily it was still there and I was able to run over and grab it. Now I'm really concerned about my memory progressively getting worse and emailed my pdoc. Last edited by gina_re; Jun 27, 2016 at 01:06 PM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Daonnachd, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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#116
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i work in a little cold room by myself for eight hours which is normally nice except for when I'm having racing thoughts like today. it's torturous. all day long, by myself, mind going BLAH BLAH BLAH. Sigh. at least i have off tomorrow.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Daonnachd, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin, Takeshi
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#117
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Today was to hot. We took the class to the park...the kids stopped playing after an hour! Most of them fell asleep on the van ride back to school. I wish I could have joined them! Now I'm going to vegatate for the rest of the day.
Still stable! Yay!
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin
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#118
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Hypomanic. I feel good, but I'm a danger on the roads.
__________________
>< |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin
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#119
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Feeling blah today
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose, pirilin
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#120
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Risperidone killed my menstral cycle for over 2 months. I quit it a month ago and I finally got my period. Yay!!!! But it hurts so bad!!! Boooo!!! At least my body is acting somewhat normal though. I'm still stable I think. Feeling sick but I'm happy to be alive and feel hopeful I will see brighter days going forward.
Hugs to everyone who is unwell right now, my heart goes out to you. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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#121
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Found out today that the hearing loss and loud *** ringing in my right ear is probably permanent. Nothing can be done to fix it. I am NOT looking forward to being in an episode where noise sensitivity comes into play. About the only thing I can do, the doctor said, is see a psychologist/therapist to help me learn to live with the tinnitus. Yeah, great. All this from a damn ear infection. ****. ****.
Sent from my LGLS990 using Tapatalk |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, gina_re, Nammu, Takeshi, Unrigged64072835, Wander, xRavenx
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#122
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I'm so sorry about your ear. I've had short term tinnitus and it was maddening. My heart goes out to you.
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![]() scatterbrained04
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#123
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Didn't fall asleep until about 7am this morning, slept off and on all day, idk what is going on, but something has got to give, I can't keep not sleeping at night. Ugh, I think my mind races too much. Got therapy tomorrow so at least I can tell her what's been going on... Other than that it was hot today, got up to 93°, now it's 88°, so still hot, and tomorrow is only going to be 71° apparently, weird weather. Well going to listen to some music, wait for my Dad to call me back and then try to get some sleep, I hope.
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Takeshi, xRavenx
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![]() Takeshi
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#124
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I thought I was handling things....but then, anxiety set in before going out to eat by the beach. I thought it would be a nice day, but I started feeling disconnected and closed off from everyone. On the way home, I was in tears and thinking if I were to write a suicide note, although I'm not actively suicidal. It's just the many thoughts running through my head and general feeling of being unworthy and hopeless. My mom noticed I was distant and looked "spaced out" at times. I feel slightly better now, but these dramatic mood swings are getting very hard to manage. Luckily, I feel a little relief since getting home today. I'm trying to think that just maybe tomorrow will be better, but it's hard.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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#125
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Throwing myself in the arms of Morpheus. That sounded a little soft, right.
Fk, gonna sleep. Need ma fkin sleep, fk that yea. Better.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. Last edited by pirilin; Jun 27, 2016 at 09:09 PM. |
![]() OctobersBlackRose
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