[OctobersBlackRose]

Found out my Grandpa probably doesn't have much longer left, we have him on oxygen and morphine, idk how long he actually has, but it's not looking like long. He's been on home hospice for the past few.weeks, I think he knows It's nearing the end and he's been sleeping a lot, and can no.longer talk or really swallow anything. Idk my Mom and sister are spending the night to help my Grandma keep my Grandpa comfortable, cause it was originally from the nurse that he may not make.it through the night. But he's okay, well as okay as he can be right now, so now it's just a waiting and see what happens...

I just found out my son's friend, whose 19, ran over and killed a 50 year old man 2 days ago. My heart is breaking right now for this poor man and his family. It's also breaking because this 19 year old kids life will forever be changed. He will have to live with such a thing on his conscience for the rest of his life. I've known this kid for 3 years, he's spent the night and hung around the house for years. It's all so tragic.....I know I shouldn't, but I feel so sorry for him. This has really shaken me.

[Nammu]

Knowing someone brings it all too close

[Gabyunbound]

I'm taking Schnookie (my cat) to a vet hospital tomorrow morning for an ultrasound to see if she has a suspected lymphoma. All I can do is worry about her. Wish us luck!

[Anrea]

Flip side of last weeks mania - trying to ignore delusional thinking, barely hanging onto sanity today, terrified and panic attacks for no reason. Keeping it together by a thin thread. Internal screaming. Should be fine as long as I don't have to deal with anything today. I know it will pass. I know it will pass. I know it will pass.

[pirilin]

The glass is 1/2 full today.

irritability which unfortunately may indicate the beginnings of an upward swing

Woke up at 4am for no reason and played on my computer until about 8. Then I fell back asleep.

I woke up again around 10am with some guy pounding really hard on the front door. He was yelling, "HEY. OPEN UP." It scared the living s*** out of me. I had to carefully peek out the window to see who/what it was because he seemed very angry!

Turns out it was some asshole gardening company that my parents hired to make the front of the house look nice. I think this guy hates his f***ing job!!

[hopeless2015]

Glad it Saturday, beautiful weather, planning a motorcycle ride at some point today

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[Coconutzo]

No sleep.
Boyfriend says I'm a mess.
The brain troll is alive.

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i never thought i'd say this, but i'm so glad for irritibillity (finally hit a wave of it last night), and even though it's the most horrible feeling in the world (i so hate pushing people away), i've been stuck in depression for what feels like forever

my cycle's finally on the move, perhaps not where i want.. but this is better than numbness

[Unrigged64072835]

I know I need to have some structure in my life. This sleeping away the days is futile. I just need the motivation to do it. I guess I just need to give myself a big kick in the butt and get down to it, whatever it is.

[scatterbrained04]

Did some cleaning today. Was on a roll, but my kid kind of stopped all that. Got really irritated. Trying not to be. Just tired of living in a pig sty.

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[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

I'm taking Schnookie (my cat) to a vet hospital tomorrow morning for an ultrasound to see if she has a suspected lymphoma. All I can do is worry about her. Wish us luck!

Good luck tomorrow, hope all goes okay. Sending you positive vibes and thoughts. Hugs

[OctobersBlackRose]

Eating just to eat today, idk why I feel so nauseous even got sick once already on food. But I keep.eating, maybe it's stress.eating, anxiety related? I mean I'm sad, and anxiousad Hell, and stressed out over the situation with my Grandpa who made it through the night and is sleeping right now, we really don't know if he'll go this weekend, next week or when, it's hard to say, but he's not doing good. So yeah, a lot of eating out of probably stress today...

[bizi]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Eating just to eat today, idk why I feel so nauseous even got sick once already on food. But I keep.eating, maybe it's stress.eating, anxiety related? I mean I'm sad, and anxiousad Hell, and stressed out over the situation with my Grandpa who made it through the night and is sleeping right now, we really don't know if he'll go this weekend, next week or when, it's hard to say, but he's not doing good. So yeah, a lot of eating out of probably stress today...

sorry about your grandpa.
(((((((HUGS))))
waiting is so hard.
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I just found out my son's friend, whose 19, ran over and killed a 50 year old man 2 days ago. My heart is breaking right now for this poor man and his family. It's also breaking because this 19 year old kids life will forever be changed. He will have to live with such a thing on his conscience for the rest of his life. I've known this kid for 3 years, he's spent the night and hung around the house for years. It's all so tragic.....I know I shouldn't, but I feel so sorry for him. This has really shaken me.

This is so sad.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by bizi

sorry about your grandpa.
(((((((HUGS))))
waiting is so hard.
bizi

Thanks bizi, it is the waiting that is really hard, that and the not knowing when it will happen, we know it will. But how long does he have? We just don't know, and the poor guy is in so much pain and can't even talk, eat or drink anything anymore. I hate to say it, but for the sake of his pain and the fact that he has no quality of life left, I hope it isn't too long. It hurts to.say that cause I love him so much and don't want to see him go, but I don't want to see him this way either...

[Nammu]

I often think we are kinder to our pets in pain than we are to other humans.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by OctobersBlackRose

Thanks bizi, it is the waiting that is really hard, that and the not knowing when it will happen, we know it will. But how long does he have? We just don't know, and the poor guy is in so much pain and can't even talk, eat or drink anything anymore. I hate to say it, but for the sake of his pain and the fact that he has no quality of life left, I hope it isn't too long. It hurts to.say that cause I love him so much and don't want to see him go, but I don't want to see him this way either...

I understand you completely, you want his suffering to be over.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I often think we are kinder to our pets in pain than we are to other humans.

I agree with you 100%

[OctobersBlackRose]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I often think we are kinder to our pets in pain than we are to other humans.

I agree, all we can do is give hime morphine and let him lay there in bed and sleep, and keep checking on him.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by bizi

I agree with you 100%

We are. I've seen so many people suffer. When we see our pets suffer, we let them go with dignity and love.

[Coconutzo]

She was shakey and still tryin to shake it off

Headed downtown on mood enhancers and rosé'. FTW

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Been depressed for a while. Still depressed. Thankfully it's mild-moderate.

I've been trying to stay positive and be happy, but it's not working 100%.