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#201
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Who did you trade your bikes with? Did you do Craigslist or something? What happened that you need rehab? Sorry to hear that |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#202
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I'm sick. I think I have a UTI. I think I need to go to a walk-in clinic.
I am used to dealing with UTIs and chronic pain, but get aggravated when physical illness pops up, in general. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Gabyunbound, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#203
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There was no craigslist. I just watched the papers and had gotten to know all of the LBS (local bike shop) owners. If they had something new coming in, either from a manufacturer or as a trade-in, they'd call. I'd also visit their shops almost every weekend. Yes, I was a bike freak! LOL. I do get high if I spend more than 5 minutes in a bike shop. Lol. I do not go into them often anymore because I will buy a bike I cannot even ride right now, or do something similar. ![]() Rehab? It's complicated. I will try to be succinct. In a nutshell, I have some form of a sensorimotor polyneuropathy combined with a neuromuscular disorder. It affect my hands and feet -- strength, function, coordination. Spasticity, pain, weakness, etc. The neurovascular pain syndrome in my feet/lower legs is incredibly painful. It gets better and worse, in episodes. It can be exacerbated by different factors. (It is known as CRPS/RSD.) *** Trigger Warning re: Random Public Assault *** I've also had a TBI (traumatic brain injury), which I feel is improving a lot! ![]() Approx 4 yrs ago, I was in a small city park, visiting on a bench with my elderly mother. She had been ill and was improving and wanted to get out. So we'd decided to go to the nearby small city and walk, talk, get a bite to eat. I was seated on the bench, talking with her, when someone came up behind me, grabbed my hair/head and started shaking my head back and forth as hard as he could. I felt like my neck muscles were being torn and like I was being scalped! Since he was behind me, I could not do a thing. I could not reach the person with my leg/foot or a hand/fist. I was at his mercy. I was also being punched in the head, repeatedly. ![]() Why? I have no idea. The person was paranoid and aggressive. Truly random. No words or "looks exchanged" with the person. I did not even know the person was around, as I was approached from behind the bench upon which I was sitting. It was broad daylight in a park and other people were watching. Eventually, other people started walking toward us, shouting at the assailant. The guy let go of me, throwing me forward from the bench and I had landed on the ground. He ran out of the park and was headed into the crowds of people at the open marketplace on the next block. I had such an adrenaline rush, I jumped up and ran after him. I did not want to "catch" him, I wanted to be able to tell the police where he was when they'd finally showed up. On the way out of the park, there was an officer parked in a car. A guy from the park was running with me, chasing after the assailant. He summoned the officer in the car and the officer started running with us. He called for assistance and other "beat officers" met us on the street and all officers went directly for the assailant (for an arrest). The assailant took 3 officers to the ground. Wow. I could not believe it. I was standing there watching 3 officers laying on the ground! What now? A couple of squad cars pulled up and the officers had gotten up off the ground. All of them went for the assailant. They were able to subdue and handcuff, arrest. The assailant was able to have charges dismissed due to a long history of mental illness. I saw the person once he was stabilized and he was horrified with what he had done. He had gone off of his meds even though this had happened before. He was visiting from a different state, had decompensated, and was living in the park, from all I had later learned. Although I was able to chase after him, I was a hurting unit. It took a couple of hours for me to feel the pain. I had plans and kept the plans, yet ended up in the ER in time, as the swelling increased, etc. I was very dazed/confused, etc. Severe headaches and more. It was considered a TBI. I had to stay on high dose anticonvulsants for 9 months, along with other meds. I have been able to decrease the doses of anticonvulsants, yet I have never been able to stop the Depakote. I guess it's difficult to be succinct with that one? Since I am getting better from the TBI, I am hoping I can now work on the rest of the medical issues with PT and regain enough strength/function to ride bikes again, even at a lesser pace/intensity. ![]() If you are near Boston, I understand why you might not ride road bikes. I would not ride in most of the Greater Boston area, on the road. Great July 4th celebrations in your area. I hope you'll have some fun! ![]() ![]() WC |
![]() Anonymous37904, bizi, Cavegirl, OctobersBlackRose, Wander
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![]() bizi
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#204
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![]() UTIs are so uncomfortable! Can be so painful! As you know well, they can make other conditions much worse, too. I hope there's a walk-in nearby? I hope you can get to see a doctor quickly and easily? ((((((( rainyday ))))))) Please let us know how you are doing? ![]() WC |
![]() OctobersBlackRose
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#205
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I feel normal. Yea!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous45023, OctobersBlackRose, Wander, Wild Coyote
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#206
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#207
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#208
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Not so bad. Pretty calm on the horizon. Feeling magical tonight.
__________________
Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
![]() Anonymous45023, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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![]() Takeshi
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#209
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Wild coyote, What a horrible experience for you.
OMG! how awful that must have been. (((((HUGS))))) bizi |
![]() OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#210
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Today has been a good day thus far. I actually interacted with some friends today.
It was amazing seeing an old AA sponsor to whom I give credit for saving my life. She is such a true friend and a blessing, not only in recovery but in every aspect of my life. I will not let so much time pass between visits! |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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![]() LadyShadow
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#211
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((((HUGS)))) bizi |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#212
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Found out they kicked me.of SSI for they're own F up with my address, instead of putting in my current address 4yrs ago when I changed it they kept my old address in their system, so now I gotta go fight with them get my annual review done, which was supposed to be done last year, and to get back onto SSI. I'm so mad right now, I'm having anxiety attacks, and this is just making my depression worse, and I have to bear through this all until Thursday which is the only day I have available to go up there. Fml... their screw up and I'm the one that has to tKe blame for it I'm the form of being cut off wtf...
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, bizi, Cavegirl, Daonnachd, raspberrytorte, Wild Coyote
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#213
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I only have permission for short walks right now. Waiting for PT to start. I used to be very much into athletics. I needed it to manage stress. Pdoc has had me on Depakote, klonopin, Latuda. He just raised both Depakote and Latuda. Added ambien for sleep. Latuda and ambien are new to me. (I am on additional meds for medical. Prednisone used for autoimmune conditions keeps me stoked.) Thanks for your concern, ![]() WC |
![]() Anonymous37904, bizi, Cavegirl
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#214
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Continuing to recover from the effects of going off my meds in order to try to "do life" without them. I feel much better than I did a week ago.
On a side note. . .I just got a "Happy Anniversary" card from my church for my wedding anniversary. Thanks. . . I swear I have done everything that I know to do in order to get them to realize we are not married anymore. So frustrating. Thanks for the reminder (She said sarcastically) Sent from my XT1030 using Tapatalk
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"I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." ~Lewis Carroll Bipolar I PTSD |
![]() Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, bizi, Cavegirl, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#215
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After responding to the thread about feeling alone, I feel...alone.
![]() I waffle between being happy where I am in life and wishing I were more social and wishing I could focus better on things that used to keep me company so well: reading and writing... There are no pills for these feelings, just wish they would go away when they wash over me. Luckily I'm usually good at keeping them at bay. Though, speaking of pills, I do wonder about my lack of focus. I've often thought it's because of anxiety, but I'm like that even when not too anxious, and I wasn't before taking this frickn' cocktail of meds. I'll ask pdoc next time if there's something that can help me or if it's a side effect or anxiety, or whatever. |
![]() Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, Cavegirl, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#216
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I love my bf, but I am beginning to see small things that I've just let go, but "now see". I am a new mix of meds and it is working great.
Stupid things like today we went to the dollar store, where I bought a pack of 3 measuring tapes for $1. He said you have a bunch of them at home somewhere. Normally I would have said "oh okay, I will try to find them" and put them back. Today I said "great and if I ever find them I will have even more. Is this a control thing for him?
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What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? Elvis Costello |
![]() Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, Cavegirl, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#217
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I've been up since three in the morning.
I don't know how I'm going to get through today. It's back. I just have to deal with it.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous37904, Anonymous45023, Cavegirl, Gabyunbound, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#218
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I have been up, too, despite all of the meds. I am trying to remain patient with myself. It's much easier for me to show compassion to you or to anyone other than to myself. Maybe we need to learn more self-compassion? Maybe not? I will take this opportunity to learn, as otherwise, it's a waste. Lol. I hope things will get better for you soon! ![]() WC |
![]() raspberrytorte
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#219
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Thanks! I did get myself to a walk-in clinic so I'm recovering with antibiotics and pain medication. ![]() I've been sleeping a lot mainly to pass time until the antibiotics start working. Mood wise, I am stable for the most part. I think the sleep is doing me well lol |
#220
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![]() bizi
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#221
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#222
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![]() OctobersBlackRose
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![]() OctobersBlackRose
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#223
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![]() Self-compassion is good. I really don't have that towards myself. And you're right. Maybe I should. You too. Again, thank you so much!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous59125, bizi
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#224
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i am a little depressed over the fact that england got knocked out of euro2016 (which is strange for me, as i've not been following the tournament)
suppose it has a lot to do with everyone trying to make me support wales to win.. well, i don't want wales to win- why would i want wales to win i'm glad the EU thing calmed down, and their's now other things in the news to read about (who really cares about the EU thing anyway?). obviously not me.. i even started my own thread about it, that's how much i don't care about it apart from that good, or as good as i can be |
![]() Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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#225
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Doing well. It has now been 9 days of wellness since I was so unwell for a month. Usually I rapid cycle and skip being normal. Still I feel sad about a lot of things. It is like I am finally able to process a lot of trauma after a long period of being unable to get in touch with it. This is a good thing. It is not depression thankfully and suddenly feeling good is not hypomania. It is a sign I am alive, well and in touch with my emotions. It has been a long time since I have been able to do this. I think things are finally turning around for the better.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Cavegirl, Gabyunbound, OctobersBlackRose, raspberrytorte
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