what does bp feel like to you?

This will be interesting.

What does bipolar feel like to you?

What are your manias and depressions like?

To me it feels like I have no control over the many varied phases of my life that continually come and go.

Mania feels like an overwhelming surge of thoughts, strange ideas, pursuits and goals. These have led me to have some pretty interesting (often very dangerous, life-risking) experiences but I have never made any progress whatsoever in the "real world". I feel like my mania is inextricably linked up with my identity/personality. Sometimes it's really hard to calm down, to find peace, because I often try to keep my stimulation level pretty high.

Depression on the other hand feels blank, abysmal. I am unable to leave my bedroom for the most part. Going into public is very difficult. I don't really cry a lot because I just feel numb, nothingness. Life seems to have very little value.

In general I feel very alienated from society and people in general. I prefer to spend the majority of my time alone.

Hi Rasps, haven't seen much of you lately. Or ever. Since we haven't met in person.

I'll give you a detailed description of how does it feels to me. Good and bad.

lol, p.

That's what I would say too.

It feels good. It feels bad.

Mostly bad though.

Like the most intense life rollercoaster that is possible

I agree with gina_re...it's a damn roller coaster that just won't stop. In the last few weeks since my official diagnosis I have been nothing but up and down, up and down. Where the heck is the stability? *le sigh* *goes off to cry in the corner somewhere*

Depression hell, hypomania fun, mania hell. Right now I feel like I'm in a boxing ring with my meds, fighting like mad against them, asking them, why should I put up with your nasty side effects if I'm currently stable?? I have a bad memory for the hell's...

I feel so delicate, but also very strong to be able to put up with the crap I deal with. Life stress throws me for a loop.

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Mostly depression, rarely baseline, occasionally the power to rule the world and solve all its problems.

Sometimes it feels like Eustace too.

Eustace?

Lol, inside joke. Not disclosing.

If feel up. I feel down. I feel like I rarely hit middle ground.

If it makes you feel any better, I thought icare's name was Roland or something.

lol

Baseline... I can go about my life in a content manner.

Hypo.. YAY the world is bright and shiny.. Happy puppy rainbow kinda thing doesn't last long for me.

Manic.. I can't slow things down and I head into a danger zone, poor decisions. I get huge spikes in irritation and anger. Everything annoys me beyond belief.

Mixed.. Pure hell on earth .. Worse place to be mentally in my opinion. As BipolarRn has said ..It's me on the bathroom floor sobbing and scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush and coming out of my skin. Hell hell hell

Depression.. My world is dark and I tend to just want to be left alone.

Yeah .. that sums it up.

Lol. That brings a lot of sorrow to my heart. Specially the lotto thing.
And I think it ends your aspirations as a guesser. Hahaha!!!.
Roland dixit. Not as bad as Eustace tho. Luv. p

Mania: I get distracted easily and take a lot of risks. It is hard to keep up with myself...there are too many thoughts going through my head, and I get agitated. It's hard to sleep, and I'm more active, but not as productive as I am in hypomania. High anxiety and paranoia start to set in, leading to a mixed episode, most commonly. I feel good at first with mania, but not for long at all. I also get a lot of unusual ideas during this phase, and I self-medicate to try to bring myself down. I hardly sleep. When I do, it feels like I'm half awake constantly. My judgment is poor. My "great ideas" from hypomania get harder for me to follow through on since I'm no longer organized. I'll often try, but it doesn't pan out.

Hypomania: I feel really good and much more confident than usual. It's not uncommon for me to drink more than usual and often get sexually preoccupied. Sometimes I get fixated on something, but it's usually pleasant. I'm spending more money than usual, and not as much sleep is needed. I'm planning a lot of great things and more creative than usual. Sometimes I feel really "sharp" and quick minded and achieve a lot.

Mixed: Some of the same symptoms of mania, but there's a very nasty side to it. Occasionally I have "mildly mixed" episodes, but my "true" mixed episodes are pure hell. I get shaky, sped up, and feel like the world is going to end. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. During these phases, I feel detached from the world. It's much harder to hide than depression too....people visibly see I'm struggling, and they can't really do much to help or understand my way of thinking. When I'm not spending time looking over my shoulder, I'm in tears. The racing thoughts are horrible, and I feel wide awake, even when half asleep. It's common for me to just hear "noise" in my head, especially before bed, but even when up. I make decisions I wouldn't normally make during this time too.

Depression: Low energy, decisions come back to haunt me, guilt, lack of self-worth. Sometimes I cry a lot, but I often just feel numb. The enjoyment of life just isn't there. I feel like hiding.

For me it feels like different things.

Hypomania starts.off.good, I have more energy, more.goals.I.wamt to accomplish etc. The things turn dysphoric with going into mania/mixed episodes, mania and mixed feels.like a fast.spinning carnival ride, say the Tilt-A-Whirl it feels like I'm spinning out of control, everything is a blur. I'll get angry at the drop of a hat, irritable as hell, even suicidal (I did attempt suicide in one of my probably mixed episodes). And as the ride.spins faster, it gets to where I'll get paranoid, hear/see things, think I'm special am better than the rest of society, think I'm on this planet to save.h humanity and bring world peace. Or that I can read minds, speak with people.telepathically etc. I'll do things like apply for jobs I'm not qualified for like once I applied for a.dog grooming position I wasn't even qualified for and can't do due to vision impairment. I gotan interview too, and had to BS my way through it. My thoughts race, I have so many ideas I can't even figure them All out, I'm more talkative,,speech is faster (well what is abnormL for me since I'm usually quite and shy). I can't catch my thoughts, they're disorganized. I don't sleep (appetite is rather normal though), I've gone up to 4 days on 0--8hrs of sleep.through out the whole 4 days. I do self harm (I'm both mania and depression) I'll drink more (which isn't normal for me, as I only drink on special occasions or socially.) I'll spend more money than I usually would on things I'll never use (wear). And idk what else as I can lose insight in my episodes.

Then comes the depression where the ride suddenly stops, everything comes crashing down. I don't want to get out of bed, I usually sleep all day (or I can get insomnia too), I have no motivation, I lose interest in my goals, everything I once enjoyed. I self harm, get suicidal. My thoughts still race from time to time. I find little.joy in things. It is Hell...not much else.to say about depression.

That's what Bipolar feels like to me.

Hypo: Amazing. Don't sleep much so I have tons of time and energy to accomplish a lot of things. I'm a student so it usually looks like me getting all my work/assignments done months in advance. I have a million "genius" ideas, I start projects (which I never finish), really peppy and bubbly
Manic: start to make really impulsive and sometimes dangerous decisions, spends tons of money, do sketchy/dangerous things like go running in the middle of the night (don't live in the best neighborhood)... Many times I've made huge, life-altering decisions with absolutely zero thought
Depression: horrible but also the most familiar. Feel worthless, can't do homework, can't read, can't talk to people, can't even get out of bed. Hardly eat anything because I have no appetite. Usually feel suidcidal
Mixed: Scary because I still have the thoughts of when I'm depressed but I have the energy to act on the thoughts... this is usually the state I'm in when I self harm

Bipolar feels like pure chaos.

The meds I take keep me from being manic anymore. However, right now, I know depression all too well. It makes everything difficult from brushing my teeth to getting out of the house.

Mania for me is like drinking jet fuel. I can get months of work done in just a few nights. I was manic one time in college and finished an entire college course in two weeks, exam and everything. My mania makes brings out the worst in my borderline personality disorder. I guess you could say I am the kind of person that would jump off a boat to snorkel in shark infested waters or pickup my shotgun and go to the swamp and hunt for a 15 foot alligator by myself and bring home three of them without a single scratch on me.

Depression for me is horrible. It feels like someone sucks my life force out. I usually stay hypo manic most of the time and most people do not see my depression. When they do they can tell easily. My eyes lose their bright blue luster, my hellos and good mornings turn into grunts, and I walk about 1 mph everywhere. Talking to me while I am depressed is useless, since 99% of the time I have this look on my face that says I don't give a ****.

Depression:
My thinking is overwhelmingly negative. If anything frustrates me, I end up thinking about death. I won't talk to anyone because I believe everyone hates me. I don't want to leave the house or even open the windows. It takes forever to get ready in the morning. I feel dazed and foggy, yet anxious. I forget stuff. I can't think. I'm hopeless. I ruminate on every flaw. I feel intensely guilty that my family has to deal with me.

Hypomania:
Everything is amazing, I'm brilliant, and I accomplish huge projects with intense focus. I clean everything. I want to change things, improve them. I have enough energy to do whatever I want. Sleep seems like a complete waste of time. Everyone else moves too slow, it irritates me. I talk too much and laugh too loud. Everyone thinks I'm fascinating and wants to be my friend.

Mixed:
I can't look at people's faces because it's too intense. I feel electric pressure inside my body. I have vivid thoughts of the power inside my body blowing up and shattering all the glass around me. My senses are turned way up - light is too bright, sounds are too loud, air feels sharp. I get paranoid and angry. I want everyone to get away from me. The world is so intense and negative that it feels abusive and unfair. I want to fight everything.