Tense, irritable and suicidal

I don't know what to do. I've felt completely horrible for the last 4 days. Extremely anxious and panicky, constantly irritable and p*ssed off and feeling like I want to crawl out of my skin. It's making me extremely suicidal, much more so than I have been recently. I don't want to sleep (been having horrible nightmares) but I don't want to be awake either. I haven't left my apartment since last Thursday.

My Pdoc is on vacation until the first week in August. My care is centered at the Bipolar clinic in town so I can't go to another psychiatrist. My only option would be to go to the ER but the past 4 times I've been there they have done absolutely nothing. Last time they sent me home with 4 pills of what equate to benedryl and told me the ward was full even though i probably should have been placed on suicide watch. I also can't go see my T because I've been transferred to the bipolar clinic and I'm on a waiting list there for a new T.

I hate this feeling. HATE it. I feel like I'm losing control.

If you are feeling suicidal, go to the ER and tell them you are not safe, they send you home anyways? That is absolutely horrible!!! I'm so sorry you are stuck like this. Do you have anything to distract yourself? Might it be helpful to call a crisis helpline? I wish I had some solid advise on what to do. I hope you have people in your life who can keep an eye on you right now. (((Hugs)))

Can you cann the bipolar clinic and ask to talk to someone?

I'm with nammu. I would call the clinic and tell them you are suicidal. They should be able to get you some help urgently

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Do you have any prn meds you can take?

I think you need the ER, too, but I know your healthcare system is very complicated based on your posts.

Can you call your pdoc's office for an appt ASAP? In the US, they have a pdoc filling in/on call if the regular pdoc is away.

Call a crisis line.

Is there a friend or family member you can be with 24/7? Have them take away any items that can be harmful.

Remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You aren't alone. Keep posting here. This WILL pass.

I think you need the hospital, really. Even if it sucks. Tell them exactly how you feel. Do not sugarcoat it. Say you are suicidal and not safe at all. Get stabilized, sweetie. You can do this.

I am so sorry you are struggling so much and cannot find any help. You have received some great advice above that I cannot add too. Just wanted you to know that we care about you and I wish you peace. Keep posting if it helps.

How are you?

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. And the lack of care at the ER and at your clinic is astounding! I hope you feel better quickly!