[SuperwomanBp2]

My husband believes that the best way to help me is to spy on me and block me from certain websites. So my email is being monitored and I can't go to certain websites, I feel as if I'm under house arrest. I gave him all my credit cards, I stopped talking to pretty much everyone via email, how is this suppose to help me get better?

To be honest, I feel more like a troubled teen than I do his wife.

Has anyone else's spouse done this to them and how did it make you feel? How do I get my life back from him?

I had similar a few years ago. It was honestly one of the hardest times in my life and ruined my relationship and some friendships too. I have managed to rebuild some but it took a long time... I basically had to keep telling him that I needed to be able to live my life, he couldn't babysit me forever and that him supervising everything was actually making everything a whole lot worse. It took a while for it to sink in but eventually I was given freedom again. I would try to get this to stop as soon as possible...I think once your spouse falls into a babysitter/supervisor kindof role it's hard for them to go back to being just a spouse...

my husband has tried to control me in an effort to "save me from myself". I had to be pretty blunt a few times and firmly state "you are my husband, not my father. I'm not a child!" He listened and is much better now (most of the time). He had also saved me from myself on a few occasions so mostly I'm grateful for his watchful eye. When I'm stable, he sometimes is still on guard and falls into the over-protective parent role. I calmly remind him and he's good at reeling it in.

I get delusional about the Internet from time to time. I feel people are following me on it and I continually try to show him the proof that I'm being followed. He will get upset and start telling me I have to stay off the internet. My oldest son and mother also beg me to stay off the internet. They are probably right when they do this, but I'm an adult and fail to listen when it happens.

When I'm manic, I really resent being "controlled" and can get very upset at anyone who tries to bring me down or piss on my parade. I will sometimes think my husband is overly controlling and holding me back. I get a bit paranoid about it when I'm unwell.

So yes, I think o do understand. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. They do it because they love us, but I know all too well the horrible feelings it can create.

Originally Posted by SuperwomanBp2

My husband believes that the best way to help me is to spy on me and block me from certain websites. So my email is being monitored and I can't go to certain websites, I feel as if I'm under house arrest. I gave him all my credit cards, I stopped talking to pretty much everyone via email, how is this suppose to help me get better?

To be honest, I feel more like a troubled teen than I do his wife.

Has anyone else's spouse done this to them and how did it make you feel? How do I get my life back from him?

Welcome, SuperwomanBp2!

Is this new behavior? Post-incident? Post-dx? Or has this been a regular feature? I took a quick peek at your other posts to see if I was missing anything, and it seemed there were temptations, but not follow through. Which makes me wonder if there was something BP-related that precipitated this situation. Or if he is controlling in general.

Not to be nosey, just didn't want to make an assumption on the nature of the situation. (Because I think those behaviors can come from different motivations.)

[ezogyo]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Welcome, SuperwomanBp2!

Is this new behavior? Post-incident? Post-dx? Or has this been a regular feature? I took a quick peek at your other posts to see if I was missing anything, and it seemed there were temptations, but not follow through. Which makes me wonder if there was something BP-related that precipitated this situation. Or if he is controlling in general.

Not to be nosey, just didn't want to make an assumption on the nature of the situation. (Because I think those behaviors can come from different motivations.)

I'd like to know too. My dad also does the same thing with my mum, for about 10 years already. Now, it has gotten to a point where he uses new electronic spy devices without my mum knowledge. He also installed few cctv's in the house. It's like he forgotten about our privacy.
He have this fear that my mum is having affair with someone and she is trying to get him in trouble.. The point is, my pdoc said I might be getting my BD gene from either one of my parents and it seems my dad could be the one due to all this. But no one in my family believes it, saying that it's his personality.

[Spaceyspace]

my husband does not block me from any thing on the internet but he has checked my email and facebook and he has taken my debit card last year when I was in a manic episode (we share a joint account and I was detrimentally overspending). This was all due to my reckless behavior and he was legitimately worried about me. I ended up in the hospital based on what I was doing. I am grateful he was helping me, although its diffficult when a spouse acts like a parent.

This was really only a one time thing and I have my debit card back. I think he does check my search history from time to time, but I also don't erase it, and I also know he does it because he worries about me from time to time and he is not controlling. So I guess you have to know whether or not you are being controlled. Is your husband doing this all the time or just during episodes?

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by SuperwomanBp2

Has anyone else's spouse done this to them and how did it make you feel? How do I get my life back from him?

No, my spouse(s) never did anything like this, because I policed myself most of the time, and when I didn't I usually confessed - at least that's how I did things once I took responsibility for my illness.

You don't say how often you got in trouble with your credit cards or with websites, so it's hard to comment on why your spouse would police you this way. I wouldn't like it, I will admit, and the only way to get back your life is by proving you are trustworthy with it. Are you at a place where you can do that, or are you just reacting right now to being constrained? Understandable, but when we've destroyed a spouse's trust it's hard to get it back.

Good luck to you.

[Victoria'smom]

My therapist had to tell my husband if he kept up his crap and didn't trust my treatment team I'd end up leaving him. It took both my therapist and psychiatrist telling him this to get him to stop treating me like a child. Whenever I am in a serious episode I remind my husband I'm working with my therapist and psychiatrist to fix it.