[jacky8807]

There is so much pressure from every direction and it's like you are shoveling against the tide. Then think to yourself I just have to be proud that I didn't commit the ultimate suicide. I'm sticking here for my kids and family
Sometimes it's all I have

[BlondeFairy]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

There is so much pressure from every direction and it's like you are shoveling against the tide. Then think to yourself I just have to be proud that I didn't commit the ultimate suicide. I'm sticking here for my kids and family
Sometimes it's all I have

YESSSSS! I hear you! I look at my daughter and that is what keeps me going! Be proud you were stronger than the thoughts! I know I am!!

[Unrigged64072835]

Yes. I still have a lot to look forward to even with this condition. I'm here for myself and my family, and even for you all here on PC..

Yes, absolutely. I'm lucky, too, because I almost died a couple of times from hardcore suicide attempts. They weren't cries for help. My purpose was to check out, permanently. Not recommended.

Originally Posted by jacky8807

There is so much pressure from every direction and it's like you are shoveling against the tide. Then think to yourself I just have to be proud that I didn't commit the ultimate suicide. I'm sticking here for my kids and family
Sometimes it's all I have

I'm worried, Jacky. I'm concerned that you are having a very hard time. No meds?

Thinking of you.

[jacky8807]

I'm having a hard time but I'm ok. Just a passing thought. You know how those happen!
I think we should all feel proud and good for the small things

[Ripose]

I'm not sure if proud or not because I tried enough times to end it all. I was almost successful several times but I guess it was not meant to be. The only thing that finally stopped me from trying was being put on the right meds, now I don't even think about it anymore. I'll die soon enough from natural causes and that's how I want my wife to remember me. Now I want to be here for her.

[Nammu]

Complex question. Sometimes yes, I'm almost happy to have survived my attempts. Other times I wonder why these people want me around. Now that I'm stable, yes I am proud to have survived.

[Wild Coyote]

YES! I understand that thought. I have lived with it for much of my life. There have been periods in my life when I felt I was staying just for my family, to spare them more tragedy, etc. Love for others is honorable, while we learn to love ourselves.



and


WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

YES! I understand that thought. I have lived with it for much of my life. There have been periods in my life when I felt I was staying just for my family, to spare them more tragedy, etc. Love for others is honorable, while we learn to love ourselves.



and


WC

That's a great outlook!

No more attempts for me...I'm in for the long haul!

[JustJace2u]

Most days I spend pondering why it is that I'm still here and not dead. There are moments of clarity when I realize that being dead won't necessarily solve the problem because I'd be hurting my parents, my brothers and everyone else in some way, emotionally.

When i think of all the **** i have lived thru, yes, i am proud to be alive. Good thread!

[OctobersBlackRose]

Yes, I'm proud of keeping myself alive.even after 2 sui attempts, I'm here for my.famiily, and my cat. With the right meds I should eventually be able to get rid of my sui thoughts, and return to a somewhat functioning level in society...

[Victoria'smom]

I'm happy / proud I'm alive right now. I've never had an attempt but I've been damn close.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I just told a friend this last night. On the way to my therapist's office they are building a shopping center. For a year now there has been a big banner saying "Opening in Sept. 2016". For many months I would read that and think "well, I won't be here". It was so matter-of-fact; I just was done and knew I couldn't last much longer. And now I'll be going Christmas shopping there.

[wildflowerchild25]

Yes! After all I've done to harm myself and everything I've been through I am damn proud to still be walking this earth. Especially now since my husband lost his struggle with addiction. I know how easily I could have ended it all. Immediately after he died I hurt myself pretty badly and could have died, which scared me into trying all I can to live. I can't leave my son with no parents.

[SvanThor]

Honestly, yes. This world is hard to live in, especially with all of the violence, but I hang in there.

[Secretum]

When my illness was at its peak, resisting the urges was the only thing I had to be proud of. Now I have (and acknowledge!) other achievements, and I rarely get sui urges anymore.

It gets better, friends. Stay strong.

[Wander]

Yes I do. My first suicide attempt was when I was 9 years old and there have been about half a dozen since (a few very serious). As I am often in mixed states I am often very suicidal. Living in those states is overwhelming, challenging and dangerous. To me it is a miracle I have survived this long and I am grateful for it.

[xRavenx]

I'm thankful that I'm still here. Years back, I wasn't so sure I'd be able to continue living. I look back on my darkest times, such as when I was suicidal, and I'm happy I'm now much more determined to keep going (still struggle with the some suicidal thoughts, although they are fleeting and not as intense as they were). I wish I wasn't as self-destructive, but I take note of my improvements along the way, and I use that as a motivator. Although I'm not always able to understand my purpose of being here or know what direction to go in, I believe painful times leads to powerful learning experiences.

A big part of life is learning, and I approach it as being a journey....just another bridge to cross, and we all have to just keep on going. We are not supposed to have all the answers or see the light at the end of the tunnel at all times, but this is something I'm learning to accept and roll with it. Sometimes I feel unloved, but I think that as I work towards accepting myself, I'll be in a better place. I'm glad that even though I've gotten knocked down many times, I keep on going and have motivation to continue doing so.

[lacerta]

Thanks for this thread, I've never thought about this, no I have another think to put in my to-be-proud-of list

it's a difficult question for me to answer

not having family to stay alive for or friends, i often wonder why bother.. why bother living from day to day if the only thing you do is struggle, struggle, struggle (that's my life in a nutshell, always 1 struggle after another) and let's not forget- that the reason i started self harming was because i was angry at myself for not even being able to get suicide right (and since that particular attempt i have tried a lot)

the plus side is that it's always nice and a relief to get through another week, and i am proud of myself sometimes for making it to friday

[hopeless2015]

Yes, I've been impatient 4 times in the last year. I'm doing so much better right now and yes I am proud of that

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Yes, I feel this way. I'm here for my husband and son. I have had two suicide attempts. One 20 yeras ago and another 8.5 years ago (that one should have been it, but I woke up!). I'm also a recovering alcoholic and my husband and son each say that they know I'm doing EVERYTHING I can possibly do to stay sober and stay alive. I go to AA, see a therapist once a week, and a pdoc every month. I've been on many meds the past year (diagnosed a year ago with BP) trying to find the right cocktail and it's been excruciating on my body. I can't do more than that and I'm glad that they are aware of what I'm doing. My son is a teenager and I was upset with myself the other day because I feel like I've messed so much stuff up and feel guilty that it can affect him. He looked at me with tears in his eyes (he's very stoic, and never shows that level of emotion) and said he knew I was doing everything I could possibly do and that was what was important. So, to answer your question, yes, I'm proud of myself and all of you should be proud of yourselves too! Many hugs!!!

[raspberrytorte]

Surprisingly yes.

After trying to off myself three times (second time pretty seriously!) there has to be a reason why I'm still here.

Don't really know why, but whatever.