[mom2trips+1]

I have 4 children, one who is in college, and 10 year old triplets. I have not been stable on meds ever for more than a week or two since I was diagnosed in 2007. I had ECT ( shock therapy) earlier this year but it was not successful. I have had recent increase in stressors.

My kids are out of school for the summer and I feel guilty that I don't take them to a lot of places. They mainly stay home on their electronics, watch tv, and rarely ride bikes and swim. We live in Texas and the temps are 100+ degrees and they aren't too excited to got outside. But, for the most part, they are inactive and consumed by electronics. I have allowed this to happen because A) They are happy and quiet which makes my stress levels better and B) when they are on their individual electronics they don't argue over where we should go out in public.

I have days where I am mostly in bed so them being on electronics is a god-send. But I feel SO GUILTY. I know they need the exercise, the sunshine, and the interaction of being in public. But I just can't handle it.

Anyone else???

Thanks,

Mom2trips+1

[raspberrytorte]

I can relate. Until recently I was too scared to even take my daughter out of the apartment on my day off. I was scared people were going to hurt us? Some paranoia ********. And it made me feel guilty because she loves going for walks and going to the park and drawing outside with her sidewalk chalk (until recently that WAS NOT HAPPENING because we live in an apartment, on a busy street, and across the street are other apartment complexes where "bad" people live.)

Now everything is fine though. We've been going places since I'm not freaked out.

But, totally relate to the guilt feeling.

[mom2trips+1]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I can relate. Until recently I was too scared to even take my daughter out of the apartment on my day off. I was scared people were going to hurt us? Some paranoia ********. And it made me feel guilty because she loves going for walks and going to the park and drawing outside with her sidewalk chalk (until recently that WAS NOT HAPPENING because we live in an apartment, on a busy street, and across the street are other apartment complexes where "bad" people live.)

Now everything is fine though. We've been going places since I'm not freaked out.

But, totally relate to the guilt feeling.

I am glad you are able to take her out now; that is great! And it is nice to hear that you can relate. There have some days that I have been able to take them places but they are few and far between. There are just so many of them and they fight and argue which spirals into me getting agitated and so nervous.

Thank you for posting, and glad things are better for you now.

[wildflowerchild25]

This is me all the time. My son goes to preschool even in the summer so thankfully he's getting out and socializing but weekends are the worst.mwhen I'm depressed I just doze on the couch while he plays with his iPad and he tried to get me up to play with him but once I'm out I have no logic when getting woken up. I'll plan to just take an hour but it will be three hours later. Then I have to force myself to get up to make sure he gets something to eat and then I do play with him. I just never wanted to be like my mom and here I am, only difference is I'm still in the same room with him Instead of holed away in my room.

I always feel guilty that I'm just not getting it right but I also hold myself up to impossible standards so...it's no win I guess.

You are doing a great job, Wildflower. We do what we can do even if it doesn't seem to be enough to others.

[~Christina]

Just the words " 10 year old TRIPLETS" made me shudder..

Life is tough for parents.. and add the joys of Bipolar to the mix? well it can be brutal.

Do the best you can... and don't beat yourself up.

[cashart10]

I can also relate. It sucks but we do the best we can. I hope you are feeling better soon.

[gina_re]

Don't feel guilty!! My sister isn't even bipolar and doesn't spend as much time with her son as she would like. Being a mom is hard! I'm lucky that being an aunt is all I have to worry about. But there are plenty of mom's like you. Just do the best you can. Ten year old triplets!! Yikes! That's tiresome to just think about. Your kids are happy and healthy. Sure you can do more, but sometimes you also have to think about your health so you can be there for them. Take it one day at a time.

[alincdytyourmeds]

A recent study prove that video games can be beneficial and most kids use their devices to socialize. So if they are happy and you are benefiting, then what is the problem, that you are not meeting a perceived notion of what the world thinks is good parenting? I say phooey let your family's happiness and health be your guide that is what is a good mother.
My t put it this way: are they safe, are they sheltered, do they have food and do they perceive love? If the answer is yes, then you are a good mom.

[mom2trips+1]

Thank you, everyone. I feel better already. Yes, they are a handful... but they are loved and they know it. And they have shelter and meals ( sometimes not so great, but meals nonetheless!).

You're all right. I think I just compare myself to other moms, and I think I should just quit looking at facebook! I have decided it makes me more depressed because everyone displays such a perfect picture of their lives.

Thanks again. I think we are all doing the best we can and that's all we can do.

Mom2trips+1

[gina_re]

Facebook always made me question myself too. I deactivated my account and haven't looked back!

[DysphoricManicMom]

I have an 8 month old, 3 yr old, 9 yr old boys and I scream at my older two (acting like a 3 yr old myself) and I scare the hell out of them and my 3 yr olds behavior is horrible a lot of the time bc of my behaviors...and I feel DISGUSTINGLY HORRIBLE. Its the dysphoric mania that gets the best of me.

And I can def relate to letting my kids have at it with the electronics, because when Im overly worried about their daily activities my irritation level goes up. But theres been times Ive just snapped on my 9 yr old bc Im tired of seeing him just sit there all day! Its a never-ending battle in my head..and I also feel guilty for not taking them to more places and showing them the world around them, bc taking them to the park turns into hell afterward for both me and the kids. And besides, common advise for bipolar parents is if a family outing or vacation will cause you to lose it, then its not even worth going.

Theres days I just sit there or lay there and I cannot for the life of me do anything with my children, and I feel horrible for it. Days I cant bring myself to bathe them either..days like that are bare necessities, safety and food.

Oh, and STAY AWAY FROM FACEBOOK ITS ALL FAKE EGO DISGUSTINGNESS!!

[Sesiley]

It won't hurt to take a trip here and there to spend time together and learn what's going on in their life...maybe go out for ice cream

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[Sesiley]

One step at a time...baby steps. Can't go all out on it the first time

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[mom2trips+1]

I took the triplets to breakfast at IHOP and then to Walmart for back to school supplies. It was okay. I raised my voice a few times but I was proud of myself for trying. I am going to try to do more on my own; I have relied on my husband for too long to do everything with the kids because I couldn't "handle" them, but I am ready to try. It was one small step but I am proud nonetheless.

[lacerta]

I can relate. I have two preschoolers. We can take short trips to shop and that's it. On weekends we try to go to bit distant park, our drive to forest to take a walk, but it always ends up with them having meltdown. I hate it. I try to keep them off devices. They are still small so interested in toys. I have no idea how I would handle 3 10 year olds, sounds tough. Take it easy mama.

[jacky8807]

This is where sending my son to camp saved me lol
Don't beat yourself up and don't pay attention to facebook!

[Nammu]

When my daughter was young it was very bad. I'd be laying on the couch and she would play with her toys and then come to me saying she was hungry and I'd get upset( mostly cause most of the day had gone by and I had done nothing with her) But she knew I loved her. She knew something was wrong and i often told her it wasn't her fault.

She grew up is fine doesn't blame me for those times and is a healthy woman in a solid relationship.

Now she's 33 and has a son of her own and is BP too. Fb freaks her out too, thinking she should be doing all these special projects and taking trips everywhere. my grandson has always had a long attention span to watch movies and she worries about that and letting him watch so much tv. But there are days she just can't cope but she does her best and my grandson knows mum loves him.

Kids are much more resilient than we credit them with. Do the best you can and don't let those misleading fb posts get to you.

[Unrigged64072835]

Raising my daughter was tough but we still love each other. We don't buy into the whole FB thing as much. I did my best but there were times I just wasn't with it. My daughter does have issues with depression and anxiety but we manage them and she is doing well as an young adult. She has her electronics but she also gets a lot of exercise from her job (she sells shoes in a department store). You have a tough job so give yourself some credit.

[MBM17]

Being a mom with bipolar is SO HARD! So much guilt.
I only have one kid, and even that's too much for me! He's in daycare full-time. Then when he comes home, I'm stressed and anxious so worried that I won't be able to handle him. Worried that if I interact with him too much, it will drain my energy too badly, and then I'll suddenly find myself over the line of what I can handle, and then I'll fall apart and it will take hours of me doing distress tolerance and trying to calm down and hiding in the office just to avoid insanity. My worry is realistic, too, because if I spend too much of myself on him, I really do have to take hours of hiding to recover.

I feel on edge when I watch him. It's so constant that I don't realize it's there until he's gone or someone else is watching him, and then I suddenly feel a lovely, peaceful relief.

I feel so guilty about not being able to take care of him. I can't be a mom like all the other moms of toddlers that live right here in student family apartments with us. I can't even watch him for longer than an hour unless I'm chemically good. In any kind of episode (which is literally 75% of my life), I can't watch him longer than an hour without starting to fall apart in panic.

This is compounded because he had unbelievable colic from hell that older women in my life would say, "I didn't know a baby could physically cry that much." It left me with really bad PTSD and flashbacks and the belief that if he gets upset, I can't handle it.

It's really hard to be a mom with bipolar.