how many times have you tried to take your own life, and out of those times- what were you feeling?

I have tried to take my life 6 times. out of those 6 times i'd say 4 were genuin

1 was down to feeling desperate and unable to calm down, and 1 was what started my mental health journey to begin with.

[boogiesmash]

1 was a genuine attempt. I felt doomed hopeless and defeated.

I may have self harm by other times by taking more klonopin or ambien and drinking.

More times than I can count. I estimate about 40 times.

4 "genuine" attempts, 2 were the result of delusions (thought I was saving dogs once, and other I thought I was a part of biological warfare/ISIS related stuff) and two just because I was mixed/manic and impulsive. I've had plenty of other times where I took a **** ton of meds combined with alcohol but there wasn't intent on dying.

[campervanman]

`Sadly` Its` 3 x times` for me.

1 when my dad died (I miss him so much)
2 When my younger brother died. (Never said goodbye too him as we fell out!)
3 Felt desperate and worthless. (Had rope around my neck, was counting 1-3 `BUT` a thought came in so strong saying, " I can`t be selfish and do this to my other brother.!!!!!!!!

[Unrigged64072835]

Twice for me.

Once. Sometimes it only takes one try; or it maybe the next try; then it's final! You could change others in ways that you don't comprehend. There might have been something important that you may have done (even if it was just one kind gesture). I hope you all kind find hope somehow!

1 genuine attempt when I was 12. I had my first episode of depression.

Other times I've done a lot of "planning" and even bought supplies on Amazon and *tried* to buy on other sites, like craigslist, black market sites. Thankfully I have a good online friend who convinced me to cancel my order on several occasions.

[campervanman]

Forgot to mention the last time no: 3 was just 4wks ago!!

[MobiusPsyche]

One genuine one, age 18, I was hopeless because I'd been in therapy and two different psych hospitals and nothing had helped. It was eighteen months after I first saw a T and I got back to my room after a college class that I had sat through but couldn't remember being at. That was it.

One partial one earlier this year, age 43, I started drinking and got a horrific headache before I even started taking the pills. Turns out a med I'd started six weeks before does not mix well with alcohol. Had splitting headache all the next day too. It was not the worst headache of my life (I've got migraines) So I guess I didn't really want to do it then.

[Victoria'smom]

luckily never.

[st0psign]

at least 2 genuine attempts I can think of.

[campervanman]

It is so horrible to have thoughts` like this BUT now with my doctor giving it a heading and a way of hope (Tablets`) Maybe I can make friends` with my demons` and learn to love and forgive myself again!

Here's` hoping ey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wildflowerchild25]

Twice. Once was when I was fifteen. I had been planning for two months. I had everything worked out. I wrote goodbye letters and posted them in my online journal that morning. When it came down to it, though, I lost my nerve. I decided not to participate in gym class and then go hide in the stairwell during lunch. But my friend knew something was wrong. I ended up spilling the beans and being taken to the ER by ambulance. I ended up hospitalized for four months because I kept telling them when they let me out I was going to do it again and do it right.

The second time was when I was 19. I was In a mixed episode. I started to feel guilty about my mom finding my body, though, so I ended up telling her. She drove me to the ER. Not calmly. At that point I knew I was going to the state hospital. Thankfully I decided to give ECT a try and it changed my life completely.

I've never attempted again. I always go to the hospital when I feel like I can't control myself because I don't want to die for my son. especially now that his father is gone. I will never make another attempt again.

[mindwrench]

One time, but I have no memory of the event. Just the story told to me by police, and a psyche doctor. I managed to talk my way out of IP, and only had to go see a T two or three times which was ordered. That was 20 years ago.

[raspberrytorte]

Once unintentional.

One time that I don't really count because I was psychotic and wasn't trying to end my life. It just looked that way to other people.

One time that was really serious and I meant it 100%, but then felt really guilty about my husband and daughter coming home from their trip and finding my dead body, so I called my friends and they came and brought me to the ER.

And the most awful one I was suicidal when I did it, but at the time I was more angry than anything. I wouldn't have tried it when I did if I wasn't so angry. That's the one that ruined my life.

I really have to stop overdosing.

As for actual attempts...twice. But I've had too many thoughts to count and been hospitalized 25 or so times, since I was 15.

[scatterbrained04]

One pathetic attempt at age 14/15. My cousin stopped me.

In my adult life, there is no such thing as attempting. It's complete it or get help.

[~Christina]

Too many

[OctobersBlackRose]

Twice, I seemed to feel cold and numb, I was in a dysphoric mania at both times, amd it seemed like something took over my body and possessed me. Idk really, first time ended up in the ER amd spent 21 days in a PHP program, second time went to the ER, ended up with hallucinations all night really paranoid, drug induced psychosis. And I was released from the ER after.72hrs (couldn't find a hospital that would take me, and refused to go to one hospital altogether). Went my counties crisis center the next day, no hospital, just an emergency med review.at the mental health clinic I go to, where they started to taper me off Welbutrin.

[letsgogh]

2x, both genuine.

First no one knows about, because I lived through it alone (Was extremely distraught and angry that I woke up, threw up a lot.)

2nd was thwarted by a random stranger. And i just couldn't bring myself to do that to this person and make them present in my situation.

So I guess one time, technically. since the other was thwarted.

i've had many more plans or thoughts than that, though.

It's always a mixed episode that does it for me.

Never. I will do it once, and it will work. I made sure I had the means to make it quick and as painless as possible when I worked in a lab about 20 years ago. Now I'm just waiting.

[BipolaRNurse]

Never made a serious attempt, but before I was hospitalized back in '14 I came pretty close. I scared myself, so I went to the hospital.

3 times. Once in my teens. Once in my 20s , and once in my 30s.

[miss_rainy]

Twice... Still think about it.