[Wander]

Slept 8 hours straight last night!! Thank you meds! Felt a little hungover but that has passed and now I feel good. My mood dipped again last nights. Nights seem to be the worst, I get so agitated i could carry this three story hospital and throw it...well it feels that way. Again i was given more meds and instead fell safely asleep.

So far, today I feel positive and calm. Going out with my parents, probably for another walk on the beach. Just hope my mood doesn't tank again. I am so thankful my doctor could come up with a plan to keep me from being locked up. Hopefully soon I can cut back meds to Lithium, Ritalin and Clonazepam and get discharged.

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling kind of down today. My son is out having fun with a relative. Made me realize how crappy I feel being too broke to ever be able to go have fun with him. I'm such a piece of crap.

You aren't a peice of crap! You're a good parent, working hard to provide for your son. I hope you start feeling better.

Originally Posted by Wander

Slept 8 hours straight last night!! Thank you meds! Felt a little hungover but that has passed and now I feel good. My mood dipped again last nights. Nights seem to be the worst, I get so agitated i could carry this three story hospital and throw it...well it feels that way. Again i was given more meds and instead fell safely asleep.

So far, today I feel positive and calm. Going out with my parents, probably for another walk on the beach. Just hope my mood doesn't tank again. I am so thankful my doctor could come up with a plan to keep me from being locked up. Hopefully soon I can cut back meds to Lithium, Ritalin and Clonazepam and get discharged.

I'm glad the meds are working and hope you can be released soon. (((Hugs)))

My stomach is still killing me and pain has been very high. I didn't take as many naps today as I've required in days past but I could have used the sleep to escape from the pain. I'm hoping that tomorrow I will feel well enough to do some house cleaning tomorrow and I need to put together a shopping list and some meal ideas. We've been eating out nearly 100% of the time and I need to put a stop to it.

My mood has been on the decline....just feeling so physically sick I think it's to be expected but my thoughts are getting dark and negative at moments. Some low level depressions which hormones are making worse but hope to see improvement in a few days. I will make an appointment for my IUD on Monday and fingers crossed for improvement. Thinking of going back to Geodon as Haldol is too constipating for me. The diarrhea from Geodon was more acceptable.

Still trading limit down. I had a protracted and remarkably engaging PM exchange with NewsBot today regarding the political quiet period being imposed 2016.11.24-2017.1.1. At first glance, NewsBot might appear to be a simple news headline stack-popping automaton, but new evidence suggests that DocJohn may know more about conversational AI algorithms than he's letting on. My guess is that NewsBot is a highly-evolved descendant of the sixty-year-old natural language processing program ELIZA developed by Joseph Weizenbaum at the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory to simulate a Rogerian psychotherapist. DocJohn is from "Greater Boston", and "John" and "Joseph" have two letters in common, so you do the math.

Originally Posted by Lefty the Salesman

Still trading limit down. I had a protracted and remarkably engaging PM exchange with NewsBot today in light of the political quiet period being imposed 2016.11.24-2017.1.1. NewsBot might appear to be a simple news headline stack-popping automaton at first glance, but evidence suggests that DocJohn may know more about AI conversational algorithms than he's letting on. My guess is that NewsBot's core code is a highly-evolved derivative of the sixty-year-old natural language processing program first developed to simulate the artificial Rogerian psychotherapist ELIZA by Joseph Weizenbaum at the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. DocJohn is a psychiatrist from "Greater Boston", and "John" and "Joseph" have two letters in common, so you do the math.

I don't understand a word of it but the math does work out so it must be true.

The great imposed political quiet period of 2016 will go down in history, just let us wait and see.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

My stomach is still killing me and pain has been very high. I didn't take as many naps today as I've required in days past but I could have used the sleep to escape from the pain. I'm hoping that tomorrow I will feel well enough to do some house cleaning tomorrow and I need to put together a shopping list and some meal ideas. We've been eating out nearly 100% of the time and I need to put a stop to it.

My mood has been on the decline....just feeling so physically sick I think it's to be expected but my thoughts are getting dark and negative at moments. Some low level depressions which hormones are making worse but hope to see improvement in a few days. I will make an appointment for my IUD on Monday and fingers crossed for improvement. Thinking of going back to Geodon as Haldol is too constipating for me. The diarrhea from Geodon was more acceptable.

I, too, like using naps to escape the pain when I feel that way. Sorry you're dealing with so much right now.

Hopefully you'll feel better soon! And good luck with your appointment!

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

My stomach is still killing me and pain has been very high. I didn't take as many naps today as I've required in days past but I could have used the sleep to escape from the pain. I'm hoping that tomorrow I will feel well enough to do some house cleaning tomorrow and I need to put together a shopping list and some meal ideas. We've been eating out nearly 100% of the time and I need to put a stop to it.

My mood has been on the decline....just feeling so physically sick I think it's to be expected but my thoughts are getting dark and negative at moments. Some low level depressions which hormones are making worse but hope to see improvement in a few days. I will make an appointment for my IUD on Monday and fingers crossed for improvement. Thinking of going back to Geodon as Haldol is too constipating for me. The diarrhea from Geodon was more acceptable.

So sorry you're in so much pain. I hope you start to feel better very soon.

[jtassar93]

Can't sleep even with the seroquel. It's going to be a long night.

Originally Posted by jtassar93

Can't sleep even with the seroquel. It's going to be a long night.

Me neither. Seroquel isn't helping me sleep through this hypomanic episode.

I'm going to try Klonopin at this point, as it's my last resort.

Do you have anything else you could take in addition to the Seroquel?

I am being lazy today.

(nothing actually to do with BP, I just can't actually be ****ed).

though I do really need to cook something for later

(or i'll be eating beef flavoured monster munch for my tea)

can I be bothered with a roast?

no

so i'll find something quick and easy to do (chicken nuggets, something like that)

[Wander]

Had a tough day. Was very agitated. Meds helped calm me. Still have dark thoughts that i am combating. Euphoria gone, sadly. Guess I am coming down and it feels like hell.

[zijax]

Day Three No Ciggies!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

My stomach is still killing me and pain has been very high. I didn't take as many naps today as I've required in days past but I could have used the sleep to escape from the pain. I'm hoping that tomorrow I will feel well enough to do some house cleaning tomorrow and I need to put together a shopping list and some meal ideas. We've been eating out nearly 100% of the time and I need to put a stop to it.

My mood has been on the decline....just feeling so physically sick I think it's to be expected but my thoughts are getting dark and negative at moments. Some low level depressions which hormones are making worse but hope to see improvement in a few days. I will make an appointment for my IUD on Monday and fingers crossed for improvement. Thinking of going back to Geodon as Haldol is too constipating for me. The diarrhea from Geodon was more acceptable.

(((((( Elsa )))))))


WC

[Faltering]

I'm starting to become more convinced that I've been possessed. I woke up thinking I was going to die because my mouth infection isn't improving. My boyfriend had sleep paralysis shortly afterward and saw me dead next to him while I was actually in the shower. He said my eyes were all white and I was cold and frail. The figure followed him down the hallway and threatened to poison him. It just seems to connect with the demon that made itself at home in my head. The lines between horror and reality have been blurred.

Originally Posted by zijax

Day Three No Ciggies!

Congrats! I am on day 14

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling kind of lonely today. It's not something I feel often, but this morning I wish I had a husband. Reality has it that I probably never will. It's too bad. I'd always hoped my son could have a father figure in his life.

[Moose72]

My car is still not fixed. The shop we took it to said they couldn't figure out what's wrong with it. I'm borrowing my mom's husband's car for now but it is almost out of gas (as usual). It snowed last night too but not overnight so that's good.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling kind of lonely today. It's not something I feel often, but this morning I wish I had a husband. Reality has it that I probably never will. It's too bad. I'd always hoped my son could have a father figure in his life.

I do sometimes too. I had one once but I've forgotten almost completely what it's like. (I've been divorced longer than I was married now.)

[Coffeee]

Not feeling great today, husband and I were arguing last night, so didn't sleep well. Now I have to go pretend everything is fine at a party blerg

Managed a shower last night. Trying to try, but honestly, it's just not amounting to much. Everything feels so overwhelming and pointless.

Out of almost everything. Trying to focus on the impending TP outtage to motivate dragging myself to the store.

I'm just.so.tired of fighting against futility.

[xRavenx]

Last night was a bad night trying to sleep. Tried to go to bed at 4 AM...I did have 2-3 glasses on wine, and I think it threw me off. I did not take my Seroquel, since I tend to skip if I drink more than a glass....which isn't very often.

I think I got about an hour of sleep, but my thoughts were racing so bad: so fast that it was scary. I kept hearing voices so loud: it was my own voice and someone else's voice yelling at each other back and forth in conversation, going a mile a minute for hours straight, and I couldn't turn it off.

It's crazy how just skipping one dose of Seroquel can mess me up this much. It was horrible. I finally took a Klonopin a few hours later to try to calm down a little bit and maybe got an hour of somewhat okay sleep. I have been rather speedy lately. No more drinking for me, and no more skipping Seroquel.

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to the mall for a walk. It was packed and not even Black Friday yet. Where are they getting all of this money to shop? Wish I had some.

Scandal! I am burdened by secrets, some wondrous, most terrible. A close friend who works in propaganda on the mainland has agreed to edit and submit for publication my second fiction as his own work, a ghostwriting conspiracy worthy of a crazy person. Yesterday during isolation drills I finally caught a glimpse of the first chapter; the rest had been lying around for a while. Now that the serpent has a head, it can be a serpent.

It's my dads birthday today so I called him and sang happy birthday and we made plans to go out to dinner this week as a family. Hoping I can hold back these depressive thoughts and behaviors and come around. My dad asked me how I was doing and I said I'm doing better which is true but doesn't fully indicate how badly I'm feeling either. I don't feel comfortable complaining and to my father it's 1000 x worse. A family dinner will be nice though and it's good to have a plan and something to work towards. Still feeling low so I probably won't be able to clean today like I planned but hopefully tomorrow. Or maybe later this evening if things improve. My pain has lessened since yesterday so that is good.