[Gabyunbound]

I live over 2 hours away from work and have to get up in the middle of the night to get there (luckily only work 3 days), so usually I'm dragging at work, exhausted, need boatloads of caffeine to get through. But today, out of nowhere, I was full of energy, good energy, lost some inhibition. I think it's a blip -mood-wise- but at least it's felt good. I'm only concerned about falling asleep tonight. But am taking some more Seroquel than usual.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

Thanks. I just can't deal. Usually I can go through the motions but this depression is swallowing me. I'm so anxious. I can't sleep. I'm nauseous and overwhelmed. My head feels like it's gonna spin right off.
I know I'll be fine. I had an uber driver ask me last night what my reason for living was. I couldn't come up with a god dang thing. I feel hopeless. I can't even hide it at work.

sounds like a mixed mood, agitated mania.
sorry, it sounds like an awful place to be.
bizi

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Had appointment yesterday. She was trying to decide if I needed to be sent for IP intake because I've been in despair and having ideation, but I don't currently feel destabilized enough to be imminent danger. The pressure cooker's bearing down, but without agitation, I can hold tight for now.

Was able to assure her that I was open to seeking help at the hospital should it become necessary.

Glad you feel you can stay safe but please go IP if that changes.

I am not good today.

I just found out that my extremely abusive family are trying to make contact with me through friends of their's.

they are leaving the country, and they want to get rid of me before they leave

(not what you want to here when you spent last night awake and struggling with depression)

how cruel of them... I just finished having a meeting with someone (from like a protection service thingy), who asures me they are doing all they can to keep my address from them.

but i'm not happy

[zijax]

Headed to Myrtle Beach for an NA convention. We're going to a show tonite at the House of Blues. Going to eat lots of seafood and soak in a hot tub!

[Coconutzo]

This morning started ok. I tried to be optimistic. I told my bae how yesterday turned out to be the worst day I've had in years. He said I just need to exercise more routinely, probably because I'm skipping the gym today. Maybe he is right, but I just need to sit down and breathe sometimes. Yesterday i regretted picking the gym over rest. I do too much. I never let myself slow down and breathe. Anyway. I felt like a failure after that conversation. Like a carrot that got yanked out of the dirt and tossed aside, roots exposed and nowhere to go. No bellies to feed.
Driving home I just wanted to wreck my car. I don't think I should be driving on the freeway until I'm feeling better.Also I'm going to start taking more lamictal. I was trying to take less(doctor supervised) to try and get pregnant. I have to do it tho. It hurts too much.

[hopeless2015]

Feeling pretty good but having trouble staying focused at work. Just 4 more hours then it's the weekend. I got this!!

Very revved up. Definitely hypo off this Adderall!

I'm getting loads of stuff done at work. Normally I'm scatterbrained when hypo/manic, but Adderall had eliminated racing thoughts and allows me to focus. What a peculiarly productive hypomania this is!

I ended up getting 4.5 hrs of sleep last night (10:30 - 3) but I was tossing and turning, so maybe more like 4 hours. Then I took Adderall after that.

Let's see what kind of sleep I get tonight

[bioChE]

Today has been an interesting day. Dealing with a difficult person at work; this morning I was so frustrated that my own work slowed to a crawl.

Fortunately, my supervisor and director are fed up with this person as well. At least I have some collaboration in my commiseration.

[Punpun]

The day went okay,until i got home and saw that i had forgotten to take back the keys from work..i don`t usually forget these things,and this just ruined the whole day.Now i feel like an utter failure.

[OctobersBlackRose]

Went to an arcade that had go carts, well I went on them, slammed into the side of the track so hard that my glasses flew off onto the seat next to me, and I hurt my wrist a little. I'm okay, wrist still hurts when I turn it, but it'll go away. Won 300 tickets in the arcade part. Had a lot of fun today, needed it especially after the election and all that stuff. Also trying to stay off Facebook for a day or two cause the political posts are triggering my anxiety real bad, but I might end up caving in anyway. I don't know yet. Home now and laying in my room.

Motionless in the land of No.

The forum mechanism has reclassified me by post count to 'Poohbah', but may I respectfully submit that the word is properly spelled 'Puba', as exemplified by Brand Nubian's Grand Puba.

Thank you for the distinction, regardless. Praise Jesus' Feet and NewsBot.

[Wander]

Slept for almost 9 hours last night! Thank you Meds! Feeling a little groggy, it is 6.30am here, so just waiting for med time and breakfast s I can get into my day. Still agitated and anxious though but I am starting my new killer med regime today (see my signature) and have hope it will keep me safe, calm but still awake.

Last night meeting with my doctor scared me as he explained he was doing all he could to keep me out of a locked ward but if i go worse then he will have to send me there. It is not part of this great private hospital, it is a public hospital with a very bad reputation for traumatising its patients due to the fact that you are with very unwell people and that those people will try to assault you. Also the nurses don't have the time to see you and no phones or computers.

So, I will be a good girl, and take my excessive amounts of meds i hope it switches me back to stability.

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to a different park today. It was nice but it was full of people. I managed to get a couple of photos in and uploaded them today on my Flickr site.

Otherwise it was a boring and dull day, even with all the sunshine. Oh, and another one of our windows cracked. So there goes another grand.

Pretty Ok, so far.

Still very physically sick which is making my circumstantial depression flair and hoping I don't crash into clinical but so far I don't think so. Just very, very tired and sick.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Still very physically sick which is making my circumstantial depression flair and hoping I don't crash into clinical but so far I don't think so. Just very, very tired and sick.

I am sorry you are sick.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[jtassar93]

Got up at 2pm...didn't want to leave my bed. Had some cereal and then sat on the deck for hours, despite how cold I was, just sat there and stared. Nothing new.

[Wander]

Feeling a bit better today. Think the extra meds are helping but know I could switch back down any minute as I have been doing all week. Oh, well, might as well enjoy the joy while I have it. Kinda hypo I think but manageable. Life is great! Last night bad SI but that's gone.
Went on leave with parents and saw family. Too windy at the beach to swim, a cold wind, so I walked in the water which was refreshing. Had 10mg of Clorpoxil and had no ill effects. Feel calmer but not tired even with all the other meds like 20mg Olanzapine, 4mg Clonazepam and 1mg Lotazepam. It is a gift to feel calm. Really hope it can stay this way.

[bizi]

wander, hope you continue feeling better!
bizi

Stayed up aaaaaall night last night. Not tired at all! Definitely hypo at the very least. I'm just a ball of energy. lol.

Also, my grandma repeatedly pointed out yesterday that I'm very shaky. I'm literally shaking from excitement. I've never had that before!

So far, I don't think I've transitioned into mania. No hallucinations or anything like that, so that's good.

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling kind of down today. My son is out having fun with a relative. Made me realize how crappy I feel being too broke to ever be able to go have fun with him. I'm such a piece of crap.

[Moose72]

My youngest is with his dad; he has a piano recital tomorrow. Both my GPS and car are broken so I can't go. :-(. Right now hanging out with friend. Having coffee. Paid some bills to day- with checks! Woah!

[hopeless2015]

Haven't done jack today....Tomorrow will be busy

[Unrigged64072835]

We had snow today so I didn't go outside for much. Spent most of the day learning about JavaScript. I don't know how much is sticking in my head, but it doesn't feel like a lot. My husband and I talked about starting school next summer. It's going to be interesting moving around large groups of people on my own. I just hope I don't wig out.