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#251
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous59125
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![]() Wander
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#252
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I am so freaking out right now. Smoking like a chimney when I'm supposed to be cutting back. Pacing around. I don't know how the future is going to play out and I hate it. I applied for disability and if I don't get it I have no idea what we're going to. Live here forever?! I want our own place again. My husband is going to have to work seventy hours a week in order for us to make it without me working.
And no. I'm not being a baby about the not being able to work thing. I tried it. I pushed myself too hard, and it ended up complete disaster. I don't know. I'm just having serious, full fledged freak out! My doctor put me on a super high dose of vitamin D because my vitamin D levels were pretty much non existent. I feel a million times better, other than being irritable as ****. I did a lot of yard work today. I hate yard work. I hate raking. I wanted to do the entire, massive lawn! Sorry. I know that's a pointless thing to say. I can't sleep either. Last night I was up all ****ing night. It was maddening. I hope I'm able to sleep tonight. But with how worked up I am right now I doubt it. I hate this. This is just sucky. This ****ing sucks. Just FUKK!!!!!!!
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose, xRavenx
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#253
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Oh duh. I have some zzzquil. I should try taking that. Maybe that would make me pass out. I mean. It usually doesn't work but I could try. I hate that **** though. It tastes bad. It makes me want to ****ing puke.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
![]() Anonymous59125, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose
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#254
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yesterday was bad. very, very, bad (I sort of blame myself for it, will create another thread)
today just feel like ****. have a lot of memories concerning last night |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose
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#255
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(((((hug))))
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() xRavenx
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![]() xRavenx
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#256
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(((((hug)))) I really hate your family is in this situation. I do not work so I know how tough things get. I hope something works out.
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
![]() raspberrytorte
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#257
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I'll be going into work tomorrow because I don't want to leave them in the lurch again (like I did on Friday) but I cancelled Wednesday. I'd have to get up at 3:30 for that shift and that along with the somnolence with falling asleep at the wheel feels like a recipe for disaster. I'll be talking to my mother on the phone (she's on the East coast) during my morning commute tomorrow and hope that keeps me awake.
But I'm getting blood tests on Tuesday and hope to have the results on Wednesday. If it's just the thyroid then I could get meds and have it resolved fairly quickly, if not, then more testing. I'm afraid I'm screwing myself at work, but I have to take care of myself. I can't do that schedule and that's what's available that day (Wednesday). I'm still very depressed, but took Seroquel last night and feel slightly better. I don't even know whether to take it on Monday or not, I need it for mood, but am afraid it will make sleepiness even worse. I'm at a loss. As it is, I have no work the following week because all they had were extremely early schedules which I can't do right now. Balancing work with mental and physical s*** is horrendous. I need to keep my job, but I need to take care of myself as well. It's a hellish balance. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, xRavenx
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#258
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![]() Coffeee, Gabyunbound
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![]() Coffeee, Gabyunbound
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#259
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I'm feeling better. Was strangely cheerful this morning despite interrupted sleep and the time change. Lots of energy. Made a fine breakfast of French toast and bacon and sausages with my hubs. Now I'm a bit more relaxed. Nothing planned for today just veg out.
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![]() Anonymous59125, OctobersBlackRose
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#260
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It's been a good weekend. Got groceries done this morning and picked up around home a little. H ran the vacuum while I was at the store...looks much better in here. Have soup in the crockpot for supper. Been a lazy afternoon...took a little nap lol
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Anonymous59125, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose
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![]() OctobersBlackRose
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#261
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It's starting to hit me.that tomorrow is my past appointment with me current psychiatrist, I.still don't know how I should feel, sad, angry, happy for.her, which I am. I'm also really nervous about who my new psychiatrist will be, we're assigned psychiatrists where I go for.services, so I have no choice in who I get, but do have a right to change if the new one doesn't work out for any reason. I know I got to let my concerns.be known, but I suck a.verbalizing my concerns.with people, Hell even weighting them is hard too. I'll try my best though to get out what I want to say tomorrow. I just wish I had more.than a weeks welp not even that, like 5 days notice cause I found out Wednesday morning after my case.manager told me that my psychiatrist is.retiring. So I don't know, I don't know what to feel, I guess I'm just really nervous for tomorrow, my appointment is at 1:15pm tomorrow, so I have to wait all this time and ruminate about all of this. I mean I only seen her since January of this.year, but we.meshed, she was.the first psychiatrist I could trust, she took my symptoms seriously, and worked with me through med changes, and for awhile I.seen her every two.week, now it has been six weeks since my last appointment. I just hope my new psychiatrist is nice and takes.me.seriously, and doesn't change my meds around on me since I'm now on a good combo of Geodon and Lamictal. But I don't know, this is all so sudden, I don't like.change, but I got to deal with it, I guess.this is where.my distress tolerance skills will come.into play especially radical acceptance...
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Coffeee, Gabyunbound, Nammu, xRavenx
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#262
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![]() bizi, OctobersBlackRose
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![]() bizi, Cocosurviving, OctobersBlackRose
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#263
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Starting to feel it. The hallucinations and paranoia are getting worse. Out of seroquel and Valium. Got a T app tomorrow so hopefully will get some answers.
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I'm on a mix of meds. Who knows at this pont.. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Coffeee, OctobersBlackRose, xRavenx
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#264
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Thank you, I'll definitely post tomorrow about how.things went.
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Wir sind was wir sind English We are what we are MDD w/psychotic features, BPD |
![]() bizi, Coffeee
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#265
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We're all worried about you. Remember to bring your notes tomorrow and good luck. I hope you get advise and instructions to stay safe and minimize the discomfort you are experiencing (((hugs)))
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![]() bizi, Coffeee
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#266
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Thank you. I will bring my notes. There are a lot lol. My T prefers it when I speak, but she's just going to have to read this note. <3
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I'm on a mix of meds. Who knows at this pont.. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous59125, Coffeee
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#267
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I have a virus. I have been in bed for 3 days.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose
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#268
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I am sorry that you have been ill>
((((HUGS)))) bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() Coffeee
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#269
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I'm terrified of tomorrow. I've never been in the hospital before. Everyone says it's not as bad as it sounds but I'm still scared. I don't know what to expect... I don't know what to bring, what I'm allowed to bring, what I'm going to do all day....lay there? Can a bring a kindle?,the food...I'm picky, how often my meds will be changed... I just don't know
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I'm on a mix of meds. Who knows at this pont.. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, raspberrytorte, Wander
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#270
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Coffeee
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#271
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yesterday i was dark manic and obsessed with death. About an hour after I woke up from broken sleep I went euphoric and am high as a kite with no darkness. Loving it. Feel like a god as I know everything and am hyper aware of all sights, sounds and smells and people around me. intoxicating. Want to change the world for good. bit anxious but clonazepam fixed that. Saw nurse, she was happy for me but seemed concerned i would get too high. My mind is amazing. processes so much info, more than i can consciously think. Im loving this. hope it stays
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous59125, bizi, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#272
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I'm on a mix of meds. Who knows at this pont.. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous37971, Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Nammu, OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#273
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If you bring your purse they will go though it. Plan to have your mom keep all your valuables as they will lock those up anyway.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() OctobersBlackRose, Wild Coyote
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#274
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Oh yikes. I think I might just leave it at home. Does anyone have any specific items that I should make sure to bring?
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I'm on a mix of meds. Who knows at this pont.. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous59125, Coffeee, Wild Coyote
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#275
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Warm footies and or slippers.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous59125, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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Closed Thread |
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