[Wander]

I know I need to talk to my doctor about this but I am curious about other peoples opinions/experiences. My doctor was supposed to see me today but didn't show so I guess I will see him tomorrow instead.

The reason I was admitted was due to PTSD and a kind of dysphoric mania that had me believing crazy violent things including SI. Over the last two days the darkness has gone and I am super-euphoric. I feel awesome, god-like. My mind is racing and I have some anxiety and agitation but generally calm. My mind is filled with positivity and joy. I also feel at one with the universe to such a degree I can anticipate the near future. I feel very powerful. My mind is on fire. Kind of like being on LSD but better. No hallusionations. Still, I am harmless. I just want to get out of here and explore the world, even just my suburb which is on the most beautiful beaches.

I am coming off Cymbalta, taking none now with only few adverse effects. My Ritalin was also reduced in case it had brought on the mania but I doubt it was that so I can go back to my old dose. Im on a higher dose of Lithium now and can continue with that. I also have Olanzapine PRN and take Clonazepam daily. Meds seem under control now. The PTSD trigger is far from my mind and doesn't bother me anymore.

So, do you think I am ready to go home on Saturday or am I missing something? I just hate being cooped up in here when there is so much fun to be had outside these walls.

[Crazy Hitch]

Your mood is quite elevated still which at the time never seems a problem to us personally but will cause alarm for professionals who may have seen the consequences of such elevation in previous patients.

I guess it's going to come down to the judgment of your doctor as to whether they believe you're a risk to yourself or others.

Good luck with it all and hopefully you get out soon.

Originally Posted by Wander

I know I need to talk to my doctor about this but I am curious about other peoples opinions/experiences. My doctor was supposed to see me today but didn't show so I guess I will see him tomorrow instead.

The reason I was admitted was due to PTSD and a kind of dysphoric mania that had me believing crazy violent things including SI. Over the last two days the darkness has gone and I am super-euphoric. I feel awesome, god-like. My mind is racing and I have some anxiety and agitation but generally calm. My mind is filled with positivity and joy. I also feel at one with the universe to such a degree I can anticipate the near future. I feel very powerful. My mind is on fire. Kind of like being on LSD but better. No hallusionations. Still, I am harmless. I just want to get out of here and explore the world, even just my suburb which is on the most beautiful beaches.

I am coming off Cymbalta, taking none now with only few adverse effects. My Ritalin was also reduced in case it had brought on the mania but I doubt it was that so I can go back to my old dose. Im on a higher dose of Lithium now and can continue with that. I also have Olanzapine PRN and take Clonazepam daily. Meds seem under control now. The PTSD trigger is far from my mind and doesn't bother me anymore.

So, do you think I am ready to go home on Saturday or am I missing something? I just hate being cooped up in here when there is so much fun to be had outside these walls.

In your state I would come home....but I live with a well trained mental health professional and we do not fear my happy manias as much as the doctors. I mostly have happy mania but it has turned very disphoric on several occasions also. You could stay to get your meds adjusted and get back to baseline. This would be the wise choice if you are in a relatively comfortable environment and safe currently is a smart thing to stay.

I get very paranoid in the hospital and was almost assaulted by a very large naked women (sexually assaulted). Fortunately a nurse walked in on it and put a stop to it. The worst part was I was thought I was hallucinating the whole thing. Earlier in the day she came up and said "you sure are pretty". I said thank you but was paranoid of everyone and just walked away. Then she stripped naked and came and hovered over me in my bed breathing very heavy. I got away and reported it and they said she was harmless and expected me to accept it. I tried to sleep in a chair for 8 hours and finally got sick and in pain and tried the bed again....I rolled over and had my back to her.....she did it again....I heard the breathing but was too scared to turn around and a nurse came in and was horrified and apologized to me. Scary stuff.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

In your state I would come home....but I live with a well trained mental health professional and we do not fear my happy manias as much as the doctors. I mostly have happy mania but it has turned very disphoric on several occasions also. You could stay to get your meds adjusted and get back to baseline. This would be the wise choice if you are in a relatively comfortable environment and safe currently is a smart thing to stay.

I get very paranoid in the hospital and was almost assaulted by a very large naked women (sexually assaulted). Fortunately a nurse walked in on it and put a stop to it. The worst part was I was thought I was hallucinating the whole thing. Earlier in the day she came up and said "you sure are pretty". I said thank you but was paranoid of everyone and just walked away. Then she stripped naked and came and hovered over me in my bed breathing very heavy. I got away and reported it and they said she was harmless and expected me to accept it. I tried to sleep in a chair for 8 hours and finally got sick and in pain and tried the bed again....I rolled over and had my back to her.....she did it again....I heard the breathing but was too scared to turn around and a nurse came in and was horrified and apologized to me. Scary stuff.

I'm the opposite, i usually have severe mixed states with SI. This hospital makes me feel safe. I'm just bored. It was only Sunday that I wrote a goodbye note to loved ones so its a significant swing. It just feels like everything going to be ok now.

That was awful what you experienced. That would be traumatising. No wonder you want out of hospital asap or not in if at all possible.

Originally Posted by Wander

I'm the opposite, i usually have severe mixed states with SI. This hospital makes me feel safe. I'm just bored. It was only Sunday that I wrote a goodbye note to loved ones so its a significant swing. It just feels like everything going to be ok now.

That was awful what you experienced. That would be traumatising. No wonder you want out of hospital asap or not in if at all possible.

It really was traumatizing but also a bit funny. She was a bit of an older lady.....she seemed "slow" maybe meds, maybe something more. If that nurse wouldn't have caught her and them the nursing team making such a big deal about it, apologizing to me and stuff, I would have thought I'd hallucinated the entire thing. It was horrible but I laughed when telling my friend so maybe I'm healing.

If you feel comfy and safe, stick around and get your meds straight ((hugs)))

[wildflowerchild25]

It sounds like you are at least hypomanic, if not manic. I went into the hospital once for a mixed/psychotic episode and once the AP started working I transitioned into plain euphoric mania. I was able to convince them to let me go because I, too, was super bored.

A week after leaving the hospital I found out my husband was a drug addict and I had to send him to rehab so that knocked me out of my episode pretty quickly. I fell into depression and stayed depressed for months.

So I guess what I'm saying is just beware of the crash. Do you think you're hypo or full blown manic? Can you control yourself? If you don't think you're going to do anything destructive then going home isn't such a big deal. But if the goal is to get stable, you're certainly not there.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

It sounds like you are at least hypomanic, if not manic. I went into the hospital once for a mixed/psychotic episode and once the AP started working I transitioned into plain euphoric mania. I was able to convince them to let me go because I, too, was super bored.

A week after leaving the hospital I found out my husband was a drug addict and I had to send him to rehab so that knocked me out of my episode pretty quickly. I fell into depression and stayed depressed for months.

So I guess what I'm saying is just beware of the crash. Do you think you're hypo or full blown manic? Can you control yourself? If you don't think you're going to do anything destructive then going home isn't such a big deal. But if the goal is to get stable, you're certainly not there.

I guess I'm a little hypomanic. Maybe even manic. I don't want yo do harm, just play. I am hoping not to crash. But if I did it would be very bad considering the PTSD trigger ed bad thoughts I had s few days ago when mixed. I'm finding it hard to see negatives now.

Thanks for your input, I will see my dr tomorrow and see what he has to say. I just want to be free to play and enjoy life but I guess if I switched again suddenly I would be in danger. Hard call. Maybe this is the new me and I'm stable already?

[Wild Coyote]

Hi Wander,

You are in my thoughts daily.
I hope you feel well enough to safely go home soon.


WC

Originally Posted by Wander

I guess I'm a little hypomanic. Maybe even manic. I don't want yo do harm, just play. I am hoping not to crash. But if I did it would be very bad considering the PTSD trigger ed bad thoughts I had s few days ago when mixed. I'm finding it hard to see negatives now.

Thanks for your input, I will see my dr tomorrow and see what he has to say. I just want to be free to play and enjoy life but I guess if I switched again suddenly I would be in danger. Hard call. Maybe this is the new me and I'm stable already?

Yeah, I really think figuring it out with the Dr is the answer. It's so hard to say from here. You *do* sound elevated for sure. If I "had" to guess, from here, just from reading, I'd put it at high hypo/low mania level. I am SO glad for you feeling good!

But there are some things I find concerning... thinking maybe this is the new you (which is great, but personal experience has been misjudgement on my part --it's also when I'm most likely to think I can quit meds). Words like "super euphoric", "god-like" "connected with the universe" to the degree to able to see the near future, etc.

The one I probably find the most concerning is where you talk about the med adjustments, saying,"My Ritalin was also reduced in case it had brought on the mania but I doubt it was that so I can go back to my old dose." Might not be the best time to think about self-adjusting meds, you know? Especially when it is an upward one, and being because you "doubt it was" at a time when you say you are "finding it hard to see negatives now."

Like you say, it is a hard call. Elsa makes an excellent point about the environment you'd be going back to. I do remember that your family is supportive, but can't remember their proximity. Is it possible one of them can stay with you for a bit to smooth the transition?

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Yeah, I really think figuring it out with the Dr is the answer. It's so hard to say from here. You *do* sound elevated for sure. If I "had" to guess, from here, just from reading, I'd put it at high hypo/low mania level. I am SO glad for you feeling good!

But there are some things I find concerning... thinking maybe this is the new you (which is great, but personal experience has been misjudgement on my part --it's also when I'm most likely to think I can quit meds). Words like "super euphoric", "god-like" "connected with the universe" to the degree to able to see the near future, etc.

The one I probably find the most concerning is where you talk about the med adjustments, saying,"My Ritalin was also reduced in case it had brought on the mania but I doubt it was that so I can go back to my old dose." Might not be the best time to think about self-adjusting meds, you know? Especially when it is an upward one, and being because you "doubt it was" at a time when you say you are "finding it hard to see negatives now."

Like you say, it is a hard call. Elsa makes an excellent point about the environment you'd be going back to. I do remember that your family is supportive, but can't remember their proximity. Is it possible one of them can stay with you for a bit to smooth the transition?

Thanks. I do have a good environment to go home to. I live by myself but am 15 minutes drive from my parents. Got about 3 hours sleep last night and feel a little foggy but that will clear up soon. Can't wait to see my doctor and hear what he has to say. I won't discharge AMA so will stay if he wants me to.

Has anyone come down gently from hypo/mania to stability without getting depressed or mixed?

that is what I am aiming for, not that I am that manic right now anyway but am aware I am a bit elevated. Still have enough insight for that. No more mixed/depressed for me I hope.