The Holidays are hard....

While doing my daily walking, I have been walking in the malls (or indoor track). I had thought the malls would be overwhelming through the holidays; yet, seeing gradual daily changes makes it easier to deal with the overall themes.

I can be a bit dissociative -- and I long ago stopped buying into much of the holiday drama. The changes at the malls feel like stage changes in a play. I have seen the daily changes of kiosks, displays, etc. It's a temporary change and isn't feeling so overwhelming.

It has helped, too, to become familiar with people working at the malls -- sales, maintenance and even "Santa" himself!

Soon, the stage will be minus the decorations, the holiday music, the special kiosks, etc., and will be back to "normal."

The "expectations" of family/friends can feel overwhelming. I do what I can and no more. It's not always enough to please others. oh well!

I find solace in the fact that it will all be over with soon.



WC

I limit my gifts to my two adult children - and even that is with a low budget. I don't even buy a gift for my boyfriend. I have a birthday near the Holidays and admit I rely on gifts of money to purchase those gifts for my children.

here's something else I think is sad.

I still believe in santa claus, despite never getting anything

The holidays are my worst time of year... I think the first time I saw a T for depression was on Christmas Eve, 20 years ago now. This year is shaping up to be really bad, I'm starting to feel kind of desperate, it's kind of early for me to be feeling this bad. I feel so separated from the rest of the world, like being behind a glass wall. I'm not a part of anything. It's the loneliest time of year in a very lonely life. I hate it.

(((((davey jones))))))

I hope posting here helps you cope.

I think most people in this thread (I know i'm included in this), find the holidays difficult for the reasons you mentioned

for me, it's got to the level where i'm actually buying my own gifts (so they arn't even a surprise), and that's embarrassing, or at least it is for me.

if you ever want to chat, (and I'm around), you can PM me or we can meet in 1 of the chatrooms

I don't specifically celebrate Christmas...& we only buy small gifts for small kids (who are few) in the family. No Christmas cards...No tree...etc.

My holiday is the Winter Solstice (December 21st this year), which marks the tilting of the earth back towards the Northern Hemisphere. After the 21st, the daylight hours will slowly increase; thus, there's an astronomical reason to celebrate.

Speaking of Christmas, astronomers believe that Christ was actually born in the spring (Northern Hemisphere, for you Ozzies & such), but the celebration was changed to be around the solstice because it corresponded to pagan holidays which marked the return of the sun. Christmas co-opted other Pagan rituals & encorporated them into the Christmas celebration (Christmas trees, for example). This isn't meant to minimize the religious significance of Christmas for Christians, but in this day & age Christmas is more for capitalists than Christians anyways (Just my opinion).

I just make sure I give my nephews gifts. They're still so young.

Sending hugs your way!

The holidays at my house are an absolute nightmare. Everyone is mentally ill( mostly untreated) and drunk the whole time. I literally get harassed if I don't have a drink in my hand starting at like eleven am.There is a lot of emotionally abusive behavior, a lot of trying too hard and a ton of avoidance. Also lots of awkward gift giving and bad food.
I try not to go home at all. After this thanksgiving I don't think I'll go home for the holidays ever again. My dysfunctional family does better in the summer.

I've done several holidays with boyfriends or friends and their families, but honestly it just makes me feel sad and inadequate. I don't know how to function around well adjusted family units. I don't know how to talk to family members as if they are just normal people I enjoy. I end up really shy and withdrawn. I don't ever offer to help in the kitchen. I'm always certain I'll get yelled at for doing something wrong. I do ok if there are children for me to distract myself with and Ativan to take so I can breathe.

This year I'm staying home with my boyfriend and two friends. We will do cheap silly stockings and movies. I may even hang Christmas lights. We'll see. I'm happy that I get a break.

Thanks coco
I picked up crispy new $50 dollar bills to give to my relatives for christmas.
I will put them into the cards from the charitable donation center for world hunger called heifer international.
I bought a whole sheep this year.
I work tomorrow and we are going out to eat with some friends tomorrow night.
We are treating them for dinner as our christmas gift to the family.
bizi

I'm hosting a virtual holiday bash. It's on General social chat forum.

I saw that.

it's a great idea

This is the first time that I have gotten all of my paperwork done ahead of time.
I even went to the dollar store and bought a bag of a few items(nail buffer, lotion, foot file, cough drops and a mango blistex) for the women on my list. It also holds their gift cards. I spent $50 to make 8 bags. Gotta love the dollar tree!
The 3 daughters chipped in to buy my dad a gift certificate for used golf clubs that he likes and have done that for a few years in a row. Also chipped in to buy them a new lap top...I still bought mom and dad gift cards to carrabas which can also be used at the outback, both restaurants that they like, plus one of the gift bags for mom to open up something from me. Jeff laughed at my cough drops inclusion...oh well.
bizi

Remember it's all about expectations. Lower your stress by just realizing it's a celebration of the religious idea. Birth of Christ gives us everlasting life in heaven. Forgiveness of sins.
So try to do something that makes you feel at peace.
Yes. Online shopping much easier than driving in traffic and stores people and lines.
I've never tried this but heard Dollar Shave club is good.

Holidays are a nightmare for me. The commercialism, pressure to buy stuff and so on. I never go home to my family at Christmas because I have 5 brothers and sisters and every one of them is untreated mentally ill and substance abusers. My mom is an alcoholic also. Doing xmas with my inlaws is also a nightmare but at least they are sober. I take Xanax and white knuckle til it's over.

I just ordered Christmas presents for my family even though they are a bunch of ignorant, abusive jerks.

Ho! Ho! Ho!
( bah humbug)

Christmas is always emotionally tough for me. If I didn't have kids I probably wouldn't celebrate it.

When I was single and working for a crisis hotline I always requested the holiday shifts. I wasn't at home alone while everybody else was celebrating that way. I didn't get many calls, but I knew I was there if somebody needed help.

Where to begin....
It has just been brought to my attention that I should expect chaos when we go to indiana for the holidays at my mother in laws house.
My brother in law moved back in and is starting a new job tomorrow. He was living in lexington kentucky and moved back into his mothers home temporarily until he found a job and can get a place of his own.
She said there is "disarray" there to be prepared.
OMG!!!!

The reality is sinking in.
Brian's stuff is every where.
I don't do well in chaos.

I am already stressed, I can only imagine how it will be when we get there.
sigh

bizi

Hate the holidays. No parents no family other than my 2 boys. Single mom, struggling to make ends meet and dealing with the sadness of missing my family and the big family Christmas get togethers. Now, I let my boys enjoy a family get together with their dads family while I sit home alone. I have no one. I get no presents, except my little guy always gets me something from the Santa Shop at school. This year he bought me a Charlie Browner Christmas tree. Best gift I've ever gotten! he knows I love the Peanuts. As usual, I'll sit home and wait for the kids to come home in the evening, but at least I have my little tree with me. Means everything.

Sorry for the rant. I'm in the dreaded "I'm a bad mom and my kids deserve better than me" mood. I pray every day that this episode will end soon.

Cherish the get togethers you are fortunate enough to have because when they're gone, they're gone forever.

This is sound advice.
2 more days of work then we head north.
pretty much have finished paperwork, charting, billing, filing, made a deposit.
wrapping presents, filled new pill boxes for 2 weeks, our going phone message changed, all I need to do is get my parka out of the closet and pack my bags.
bizi

I can't sleep, drank too much.
Had 2 quick beers and then downed 2 martinis in no time at all.
Ate a fabulous dinner at bone fish grill. swordfish with pumpkin ravioli and sauteed spinach. It was delicious!
I just took an extra klonipin and had a hot flash so am up till it passes and then try to get some sleep.
sigh
bizi

Oh and I forgot I need to wash 2 loads of laundry, my scrubs because I don't want to have to wash them the night we get back as I am working the next day. and scrub my bathroom floor.
bizi

hubby offered to do my scrubs this morning which was very sweet of him.
bizi

The way this holiday season is going, this is bound to be the worst Christmas ever. No one in my family will watch my son so I can shop for him. So yeah, I guess Santa isn't coming this year.

... ... ... thinking of you ... Tigger