[bizi]

trivia was fun at whole foods.
I am proud to say that I only had one dark beer the whole night.
bizi

[Nammu]

Good job bizi!

Originally Posted by zijax

Elsa sorry you are going through all this. I hope the iud helps. Please try to make any long term decisions when you are in a clear mind if at all possible. I will be sending out positive thoughts to you. Hope you feel better.

This is very good advise that I try to live by. No major decisions while feeling unstable. I broke that rule recently but it paid off. I had to put my foot down which I'm not good at since getting sick. I'm too sick to argue or stand my ground and get walked on from time to time because of it. I took a chance, stood up for myself and it worked out better than I could imagine. So some stress has been relieved and that's helped a lot in some ways but not in others. I'm so sick and my anxiety is through the roof...wish I could jump out of my skin! The sickness makes me think dark thoughts. I keep saying it's circumstantial but it's indeed qualifying as clinical at this point. Just a few more days till my IUD. I may be cured. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed.

Thank you for your post. (((Hugs)))

feeling depressed and irritable

so irritable, in fact, that I am triggered even if I just bang my foot on a box (outch)

really not much to say- this is my life we're talking about, why would their be much to say?

gp visited me yesterday, caused a drama over something really little and triggered some memories. I was alone so had no help dealing with them

evening was just as bad, couldn't focus on anything

expecting an important phone call today (but, my stupid brain can't remember who it's meant to be from), so that's pretty embarrassing- they probably won't call me anyway... they just say they will

looking forward to seeing my mental health manager monday to tell her what a rough time i am having

highlight of today:: listening to queen's bohemian rapsedy which used to be my anthem in the 90's

I don't know why, I used to be hooked on that song (I still am, I suppose). but not as much as I was

Hypo, for sure. Clues had definitely reached critical mass by Wednesday. Out and about, yapping and joking with people left and right, feeling bold, cheeky, the little giggling grin keeps sneaking up. Even shopping. Even enjoyed a kind of shopping that normally drives me to tears(!) I am normally not into shopping. Nor do I have money to spend.

Lots of multi-tentacled talk. Feeling sharp, but talking's a bit scattered. Some amusing tripping over jumbly words.

I was driving BF right up a wall the night before last with rather frenetic silliness. Sleep, not much. You get the picture.

It's 4:30 am and I think I may have nodded off for an hour or two. Going to "med down" (lol) now.

It's a good hypo, and it's been a long time, so I'm going to just go with it (at least for now).

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Hypo, for sure. Clues had definitely reached critical mass by Wednesday. Out and about, yapping and joking with people left and right, feeling bold, cheeky, the little giggling grin keeps sneaking up. Even shopping. Even enjoyed a kind of shopping that normally drives me to tears(!) I am normally not into shopping. Nor do I have money to spend.

Lots of multi-tentacled talk. Feeling sharp, but talking's a bit scattered. Some amusing tripping over jumbly words.

I was driving BF right up a wall the night before last with rather frenetic silliness. Sleep, not much. You get the picture.

It's 4:30 am and I think I may have nodded off for an hour or two. Going to "med down" (lol) now.

It's a good hypo, and it's been a long time, so I'm going to just go with it (at least for now).

i'd love some of that

send me some

I suppose it's true what they say though.

what goes up, must come down

you have to be down before you come up

my time will come

[bizi]

rain is in the forecast. It has been in the 70's all week, very strange weather we are having.
I work today going out of town...not really looking forward to that.
I do foot care for the elderly in their homes.
One client in town then gumbo for lunch then hit the road....
happy saturday.
Happiness is a decision.
I love my job!
bizi

[Faltering]

I've been doing a lot better with my mood. I haven't been lashing out and I don't feel depressed. It's easier for me to use rationale thoughts to dispel the paranoia. I have been regressing in that area lately, but it has still improved a great deal. Honestly when the pdoc said he wanted to prescribe this med I was skeptical, but maybe it's just what I needed.

[ByMySide]

Went to bed early, planned to get 8-9 hours of solid rest. Woke up 4 and 1/2 hours later. I had to convince myself I was safe and okay (again) even though I can't even remember my dream/nightmare. It must have been bad. I couldn't go back to sleep so I washed some uniforms for the long work week ahead.

[Moose72]

Daughter is here since last night. I wanted to take her and my son out somewhere this morning for a nice treat but she only wants to go to her boyfriend's house. In other news, I'm down from a high of 202.something to 190. Go me. Granted, some of that was me dieting but some was going on Wellbutrin. I'm only 5'3" so yeah I'm on the chubby side. *sigh* But I'm going the right direction! I need to clean some today, too.

ByMySide, they say if you can't sleep that you should get up and do something. Washing your uniforms was a good idea.

[12AM]

Depressed. Irritated. Restless. Exhausted.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Daughter is here since last night. I wanted to take her and my son out somewhere this morning for a nice treat but she only wants to go to her boyfriend's house. In other news, I'm down from a high of 202.something to 190. Go me. Granted, some of that was me dieting but some was going on Wellbutrin. I'm only 5'3" so yeah I'm on the chubby side. *sigh* But I'm going the right direction! I need to clean some today, too.

ByMySide, they say if you can't sleep that you should get up and do something. Washing your uniforms was a good idea.

Good for you Moosie. Right on. Celebrate the victory!

[Unrigged64072835]

Went to a park to take pictures with my new camera. It works great. Sorted them out and will do again tomorrow.

Came home and had a flare-up of anxiety. I took my meds late and now trying to calm back down. Wanted to take a nap but couldn't do it. So I came here.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Went to a park to take pictures with my new camera. It works great. Sorted them out and will do again tomorrow.

Came home and had a flare-up of anxiety. I took my meds late and now trying to calm back down. Wanted to take a nap but couldn't do it. So I came here.

Sometimes just lying down in a dark quiet room helps

[zijax]

I've been drinking since 8:30 this morning. A friend came over and relentlessly banged on the door. She always stops by without calling first. I think this is rude behavior. I was nice to her and just told her I was tired. In truth, I didn't want any visitors. I mean I'm drunk, what is there to talk about. I want to be left alone until I shake this. She's the one that forced me to go ip last week and now I have a $6000.00 hospital bill I can't pay for. She didn't know this and was only trying to do what she thought was best. But I didn't get meds for 3 days at hospital. They sent me home at day 4. I go to a free clinic and they aren't open over the weekend so they said they couldn't verify scripts. The hospital stay was a waste of time and money and I'm angry. When I quietly told her I didn't want to go she went behind my back and called 911-suddenly there were 10 uniformed ems people forcing me to get into an ambulance bc I had cut my wrist and was drunk. I pleaded with them not to make me no as I can't afford a $500.00 ambulance but they said they would not leave unless I agreed to go with my friend. So I went and I ate some good food. The nurses were nice. The Drs. could have cared less. I wish my so called friend had let me sleep it off. I'm worse off than I was before.

Originally Posted by zijax

I've been drinking since 8:30 this morning. A friend came over and relentlessly banged on the door. She always stops by without calling first. I think this is rude behavior. I was nice to her and just told her I was tired. In truth, I didn't want any visitors. I mean I'm drunk, what is there to talk about. I want to be left alone until I shake this. She's the one that forced me to go ip last week and now I have a $6000.00 hospital bill I can't pay for. She didn't know this and was only trying to do what she thought was best. But I didn't get meds for 3 days at hospital. They sent me home at day 4. I go to a free clinic and they aren't open over the weekend so they said they couldn't verify scripts. The hospital stay was a waste of time and money and I'm angry. When I quietly told her I didn't want to go she went behind my back and called 911-suddenly there were 10 uniformed ems people forcing me to get into an ambulance bc I had cut my wrist and was drunk. I pleaded with them not to make me no as I can't afford a $500.00 ambulance but they said they would not leave unless I agreed to go with my friend. So I went and I ate some good food. The nurses were nice. The Drs. could have cared less. I wish my so called friend had let me sleep it off. I'm worse off than I was before.

I am so sorry for all of this. I truly am. (((Hugs)))

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by zijax

I've been drinking since 8:30 this morning. A friend came over and relentlessly banged on the door. She always stops by without calling first. I think this is rude behavior. I was nice to her and just told her I was tired. In truth, I didn't want any visitors. I mean I'm drunk, what is there to talk about. I want to be left alone until I shake this. She's the one that forced me to go ip last week and now I have a $6000.00 hospital bill I can't pay for. She didn't know this and was only trying to do what she thought was best. But I didn't get meds for 3 days at hospital. They sent me home at day 4. I go to a free clinic and they aren't open over the weekend so they said they couldn't verify scripts. The hospital stay was a waste of time and money and I'm angry. When I quietly told her I didn't want to go she went behind my back and called 911-suddenly there were 10 uniformed ems people forcing me to get into an ambulance bc I had cut my wrist and was drunk. I pleaded with them not to make me no as I can't afford a $500.00 ambulance but they said they would not leave unless I agreed to go with my friend. So I went and I ate some good food. The nurses were nice. The Drs. could have cared less. I wish my so called friend had let me sleep it off. I'm worse off than I was before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think it was necessary, though. Well, not the bills! Those suck. I'm sorry for that. I think your friend cares and is doing her best to check on you to make sure you're okay.

[VerMOZZica]

Feeling pretty down tonight.I`m feeling pretty lonely too.I`m also worried about my Mother.She`s having a difficult time right now as she is dealing with anxiety and insomnia.

[Daonnachd]

I had ECT yesterday, so feeling good enough today. The problem is, I told my doc how poorly I'd been doing lately and she scheduled me for an acute series of ECT next week and the one following.

[emgreen]

I've had a total of about 15 hours sleep in the past four days. Up at 1:00 am today. In the past, a lack of sleep has created problems for me. I'm feeling energetic now, but what happens when I hit the wall? In the past it's been a sign of mania setting in. My worst episode found me sleepless for five full days. I hope I'm not headed in that direction.

Originally Posted by vertigo

I had ECT yesterday, so feeling good enough today. The problem is, I told my doc how poorly I'd been doing lately and she scheduled me for an acute series of ECT next week and the one following.

This is to be expected. How many were you originally scheduled for (we don't get just one). I am pretty certain the norm is 2-3 days a week for about 4 - 6 weeks.

I am most definitely hypomanic (yet I am not feeling the usual happy 'ride').

Most notably however is the fact my sleep pattern has not been affected. Weird. I am still sleeping about 14 hours a day (medication? Lack of daylight?)

[bizi]

The ugly fact this morning....
I pulled out my measuring tape and dared to measure my belly at its most distended point, 2 inches below my belly button:
40 inches.
and yes my friends, I do look pregnant.
bizi