[fishin fool]

Hello there folks, my bipolar life goes on.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Thank you thank you, I just needed words of support
I am married, but I feel so alone.
I have no friends
So alone

I'm sorry you're in that space. I feel that way sometimes. It's hard to deal with when being married still leaves you feeling empty...I'm divorced, but I felt very alone when I was with my ex-wife. You're definitely not alone in my thoughts.

[rwwff]

I'd like to offer my thanks to Mr. Depakote this morning... I woke at 3am... again... but went back to sleep! Even enjoyed a nice, 7am morning sleepy yawn when I got up. That means I got 7hrs of sleep, and don't feel like yelling BANZAI!!! and charging into a dozen things.

I'm cured right?

[xRavenx]

My meds are now more expensive. I can keep up with that, but the frequency of visits is what is concerning me. I am also worried whether I can keep up with therapy visits, because it is getting very expensive. I wish things would go better mentally so that I don't have to see my pdoc as much as I do. I'm not at a point where I go monthly. She wants to see me every 1-2 weeks for awhile.

Hopefully soon I'll be able to see my pdoc every 3-4 weeks and that my new medication recommendations will work out. The amount of money I spend on healthcare each year is so much, and I wish this wasn't an issue.

[Moose72]

Went grocery shopping after a hiatus. Then came home to find my daughter here. She'd been going to her boyfriend's. Happy surprise! So she's on the couch behind me eating donuts and watching The Bachelor. lol She even told me about a phone call she had with her ob/gyn! Yay. (GYN part, not OB part!)

long emotional day

long story short, got triggered really badly, and spent most of today reliving my grrandad's death

it was horrible

I did see my mental health worker in the afternoon

struggled to say much though

Originally Posted by Standup2me

I am married, but I feel so alone.
I have no friends
So alone

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Am I the only one who sometimes feels so alone in this?

Not alone, Standup2me. I can relate.

Not married, but living with BF 7 years now. He has problems, which is fine. After all, so do I. But it's uncanny how -- no matter how bad mine get -- his always seem to "require" the attention/focus/excusal. Yes, it's messed up, but the point is, I REALLY understand the alone in it. No matter how bad the situation, getting help comes down to me (when I'm least likely to think there's a point to it). He "understands" some (though he's not BP), but it doesn't amount to terribly much when he's wrapped up in his host of seemingly neverending issues.

It may be a different situation(?), but that 'not alone, but alone' is a really hard place and I feel for you.

(No friends here either. I consider trying sometimes, but can't seem to muster it.)

*********

In check-in news, hypo continues. Upside is that things are getting done. Will need to keep an eye on irritability. So far, it's basically under control. Projects. That's the best place to put focus now...

*********

(Though the above is possibly a bit overly candid [or at least an unprecedented admittance here)-- just to clarify, I love him very much. Didn't want to leave any wrong impression about that.)

[Moose72]

Finally went grocery shopping. Got enough to tide us over for a while. Waiting for pdoc to call and change my dose of Rexulti and call it into the pharmacy. Need to go there and get a script for my daughter, too. Felt a bit anxious for a bit earlier, but its mostly gone.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got the laundry done, but not much else. Eked out another poem before the anxiety rushed in. Making dinner soon.

[Nammu]

Sleep is Royaly messed up. Went to bed at 5am..... Asleep about 6:30am up 4 hours later and no end in sight.

[Moose72]

I just went to the store and my son wants to go shopping- again. I'm still waiting for pdoc to call. I'm just assuming she will. Maybe she will tomorrow. I still have a few pills left before she needs to call in a new script.

[bizi]

2 glasses of wine before dinner.
toasty....
bizi

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I just went to the store and my son wants to go shopping- again. I'm still waiting for pdoc to call. I'm just assuming she will. Maybe she will tomorrow. I still have a few pills left before she needs to call in a new script.

She never called. I counted my pills. I have enough for tomorrow and Thursday and then I'm out with no refills. I'm kinda miffed about that. I hope she calls tomorrow. I already was at the pharmacy for my daughter and asked if anything had been called in for me and they said no.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm in a lousy mood. I'm quitting smoking again (this time for real), and want to destroy everything. Smoking was the one thing I looked forward to every day! It's also how I coped with my lousy feelings because I hate my life at the moment. I hate this area. I hate living with my in-laws. I hate the weather. I hate my knee at the moment because I twisted it and now it hurts. I hate how I blew my diet today and am going to remain FAT. I hate Donald Trump. I hate DOGS, and I'm surrounded by them and have to clean their nasty dishes. I hate everything right now.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm in a lousy mood. I'm quitting smoking again (this time for real), and want to destroy everything. Smoking was the one thing I looked forward to every day! It's also how I coped with my lousy feelings because I hate my life at the moment. I hate this area. I hate living with my in-laws. I hate the weather. I hate my knee at the moment because I twisted it and now it hurts. I hate how I blew my diet today and am going to remain FAT. I hate Donald Trump. I hate DOGS, and I'm surrounded by them and have to clean their nasty dishes. I hate everything right now.

quit it, you are not fat!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Wander]

Feeling much better. Still agitated and restless but manageable. Haven't been sleeping well. Got to sleep sometime after 5am this morning and slept about 4 hours on and off. Was over a good friends and had a great time. Seeing another good friend tonight. Feeling social. Saw my T today and he thinks I'm mildly hypomanic. Can't concentrate, racing thoughts, less need for sleep, agitation etc. I don't care cause last week I was suicidal and now I'm happy. Pdoc gave me Abilify to calm things down and hopefully prevent a big episode. Even though he doesn't think I have bipolar now...long story but I'm changing pdoc soon. My T is adamant I have bipolar 1 and I trust him more. Been drinking a bit too much. Will have to keep an eye on things. Still it's so great to be joyful even if it comes with agitation.

[ByMySide]

I discovered my own major screw up today at work. I'm fairly certain there will be repercussions of this, though I'm not sure if I will be written up for it. I've been beating myself over it. I knew what the protocol was...and somehow, I just didn't follow it. I've been there long enough that I should know better. It's really messing with my sense of self confidence right now.

after all I went through yesterday, I was sort of hoping for sleep

but alas. none

oh well, and so begins another boring day..

[Nammu]

Still here, still sleepless, still bored

Originally Posted by Nammu

Sleep is Royaly messed up. Went to bed at 5am..... Asleep about 6:30am up 4 hours later and no end in sight.

Yep. Go to bed at 8pm and up at 4:30am. Can't help it.

[1978dd]

becoming hypo-manic...Bi-polar 2

Originally Posted by 1978dd

becoming hypo-manic...Bi-polar 2

*waves*

i've not seen you here before.

hello and welcome.

[1978dd]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

*waves*


i've not seen you here before.


hello and welcome.

Thanks...I'm new

[Moose72]

Hello 1978!

I'm sitting at the hospital in a clinic room waiting for the doctor who is running late. I think this is about my liver. Ho hum.