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#176
Dec 26, 2016, 09:42 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
 Wild Coyote
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#177
Dec 27, 2016, 12:39 AM
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Feeling pretty good today, saw a really good day. Did some scandalous stuff, watched some good movies and hung out with my best friend.
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
| Wild Coyote
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 scatterbrained04, xRavenx
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#178
Dec 27, 2016, 03:50 AM
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It has been 13 days since I was discharged after a manic psychotic break and I am utterly shattered both physically and mentally. My sleep has been decent, about 8 hours a night and I spend a lot of time crashed on the couch during the day. To help recovery I have been keeping myself busy organising and cleaning my flat. Now that is done I have been playing guitar and resting over Christmas.
Today I went for my first walk to get some exercise even though I am exhausted. It made me more exhausted but I will continue to try and exercise. I think it is better I keep semi-active rather than lay about all day. Still, I do spend a lot of time resting. I just can't move and my brain is mush. I really hope I can recover fast as this is horrible and I am back to work soon, although only a few days a week. So I am trying to do all I can to recover. Sleep, eat, exercise, be creative, socialise and rest. My mood is ok but I am getting a bit low, think it is tiredness rather than depression though. How long will it take for me to get my energy and mind back? I have heard it can take months! I hope not.
__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
| gina_re, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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| Coconutzo
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#179
Dec 27, 2016, 09:27 AM
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my mental health manager came round today (which was nice and unexpected), so we got to talk for a while
with the acception of that, I am feeling non descript. 1 of those days where I can't really describe how I feel |
| Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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| Coconutzo
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#180
Dec 27, 2016, 11:07 AM
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Stayed up all night reeling with anxiety. I took some Ativan to try and sleep, but that didn't work at all. I'm nervous about the future. I seem to have gotten myself into a pickle.
I hope everyone had a peaceful holiday. |
| gina_re, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#181
Dec 27, 2016, 04:55 PM
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Went to T this morning. Mostly discussed with my husband how we're going to go financially next year. Focus on paying off bills mainly. I did get something I wanted that I didn't get at Christmas, so that's good. Now I need to figure out how to keep busy with what I have. Still not happy with this "retirement". I'm feeling stable so I need to start moving out of my comfort zone.
Other than that it was a quiet day. Making dinner soon. |
| Wild Coyote
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#182
Dec 27, 2016, 05:42 PM
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Today was a good day for once!
I had my pdoc appt today and everything went well. Gonna make a few tweaks to my meds and we're all set to go. My new Lamictal dose kicked in and got rid of my depression. Yay I also transferred all my prescriptions from CV$ to Walgreens because CV$ is so expen$ive. I'm saving $15 a month! Woohoo! |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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| Coconutzo, xRavenx
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#183
Dec 27, 2016, 07:17 PM
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I don't know why it's so hard to focus lately and find interest in things. Nothing holds my attention at all....not in an ADHD kind of way, but in an apathetic, depressed way. My anxiety is quite high though, and I cry at least once a day. I did see my mom today, so I got out a little bit, but I'm back in bed and spend most of my time there. A friend asked me to go out tonight, but I declined. I'm just not feeling up to anything. Lately, I find myself staring at the wall and feel disconnected from the world. I wish this would pass and that I had some answers to why this is happening and what would make things better. I try different things....but nothing seems to help much.
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| Anonymous41403, Anonymous45023, gina_re, Wild Coyote
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#185
Dec 27, 2016, 08:45 PM
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I'm laying in bed with my new heated matress pad on. It's so nice! Tomorrow I think will be go to Walgreens day and clean the house day.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| Wild Coyote
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| Coconutzo
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#186
Dec 28, 2016, 04:53 AM
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rough night last night, and barely remember much of it (just the horrible images and stuff)
feeling pretty good at the moment though |
| Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote
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#187
Dec 28, 2016, 04:53 AM
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I still didn't sleep either
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| Wild Coyote
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#188
Dec 28, 2016, 08:49 AM
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My paranoia is getting worse. I keep accusing my family members of plotting horrible crimes against me. I went to a local diner last night and was convinced the people who walked in behind us were conspiring to rob the place. I don't feel safe anywhere.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
| Anonymous45023, gina_re, Icare dixit, Nammu, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
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#189
Dec 28, 2016, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| Wild Coyote
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#190
Dec 28, 2016, 09:56 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
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#191
Dec 28, 2016, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Ask for an earlier appointment if need be.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| Coconutzo, Faltering
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#192
Dec 28, 2016, 02:41 PM
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I'm no longer used to really severe depression, but I had two extreme surges of it today which really frightened me.
The problem with things having improved so much for so long is that you lose strength. So things can only get worse unless it's only getting better. And as it's not, that's frightening. It's best never to gain something you can lose if it's dangerous when you do.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#193
Dec 28, 2016, 04:06 PM
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Not doing so great. My father went snooping in my room when he suspected I was hiding something from him. He found all my meds. I never told him I have BP.
I told him I have depression, but he said he looked up what my meds were because he didn't trust me. (Some of the meds were obvious... like Klonopin, Strattera, Lexapro... and the others are a quick google search.) Now I'm f_cked since he's very anti-MI |
| Anonymous45023, Nammu, xRavenx
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#194
Dec 28, 2016, 04:15 PM
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Quote:
He was right not to trust you. Don't give him that chance.
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
| gina_re
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#195
Dec 28, 2016, 04:23 PM
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Very p.o'ed and discouraged right now. I have to move out of my place soon because my landlord promised her flake of a 19 yr. daughter and her so called fiancee they could live here. She said I could stay for a couple more months(gee thanks) until they get jobs but then they want the place to themselves. So they are both moving in next week. I have a month to month lease which runs out in July, but I am not protected by that. All she needs to do is to give me 30 day notice. Next time around I am getting a yearly lease, this is bull****.
__________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt BP2 Lithium, lamictal, topomax, seroquel Last edited by misscath007; Dec 28, 2016 at 04:43 PM. |
| gina_re
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#196
Dec 28, 2016, 04:33 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#197
Dec 28, 2016, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
__________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt BP2 Lithium, lamictal, topomax, seroquel |
| Anonymous45023, gina_re, Icare dixit, Nammu
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#198
Dec 28, 2016, 05:57 PM
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My anxiety has been so bad lately. I can't seem to shake it. Tired of feeling butterflies in my stomach all the time.
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| Anonymous45023, Icare dixit
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#199
Dec 28, 2016, 06:01 PM
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Slow day. Went to pick up a med, was told that another med was in but at a different pharmacy. Went to other pharmacy and was told it wasn't in yet.
 Otherwise, not much happened. Puttered on the computer and took a nap. |
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#200
Dec 28, 2016, 06:46 PM
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Saw a friend for a great talk. He thanked me!
Been out with my youngest child. I plan on taking a shower and climbing into bed when I get home. No choir rehearsal tomorrow night. Yay for a break.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
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