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#1
Dec 16, 2016, 04:33 AM
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How do you go on when there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. I've had a terrible year and it is just getting worse. My dad died, i was with him, it was sudden but he wasnt alone. My dad was a bachelor and it was up to me to take on the responsibility of planning, paying, cleaning up, after he passed away. He had nothing so i paid (still) for the funeral. A week after his funeral my husband had a heart attack. I got fired from my two jobs. More happened and it went on and on. I took the summer off to be in my gardens and not have any stress. Im so sad. My heart is broken. Ive done counseling but didnt work, made it worse. Im trying to find a job, nothing. I was in the hospital in aug. For my heart and am currently in cardiac rehab, so i am exercising, which should be helping but isnt. Still, nothing to get out of bed for. I love my husband and children but its not enough. I feel like a loser, totally defeated. I used to be someone, had 2 big jobs, known in the community...now nothing. My children no longer live at home, my husband has his own bedroom and i feel lost with no hope. I miss my dad.
__________________
"Your true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow." - Cyndi Lauper
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 Anonymous37971, Anonymous45023, Victoria'smom, Wander
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#2
Dec 16, 2016, 05:30 AM
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Wow! What a tough year! You seem to suggest you have nothing going for you, but the fact you're still standing after so much tragedy & heartache speaks to your resiliancy & fortitude. For the next week or two, you can focus on a few things; Wednesday is the Winter Solstice - each day after that will bring more light each day; if you're Christian, Christmas signifies the birth of "the Son."; finally, the new year, 2017, is around the corner...It will be a clean slate! I know these things will not make much of a dent in your sadness & stress, but these are just suggestions. I'm glad you posted...I'm sure you're in all of our thoughts, so you're not alone!
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#3
Dec 16, 2016, 09:14 AM
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Msj I feel for you. You are grieving for your Dad eh? You've been through a lot. It has to get better. Did anything good happen in any of that time? Sometimes I tend to focus on only the negative and forget the positive. Are you well enough to take a trip? That has helped me in the past to go somewhere beautiful, take your husband and surround yourself with peace and beauty. If you can't afford it, becoming more spiritually connected to whatever your source is can also lift you out of a bad spot. Sending you prayers on the wings of angels.
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#4
Dec 16, 2016, 09:20 AM
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The small things can help.
Light a bunch of candles. Take a bath with music playing. Health concerns can be overwhelming. I'm sorry about your dad. But your strength is so admirable. You are a valuable person. We love you here. Remember that.
__________________
 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#5
Dec 16, 2016, 11:51 AM
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Thank you for your kind words. I guess I have been through alot, its tough when people around me get disgusted because I dont have a job and think I should have moved on by now. Im having a heck of a time sleeping. Been taking seroquel 25mg and 2 mg lorazepam with limited results. My bipolar goes way low and the mainia is like a "normal" person having a good day. I've been knocked down before, but not like this and eventually it gets better, its just remembering that. Im not suicidal but feeling I dont care and longing for some kind of other drama to move me out of this one. Thank you again, nice knowing thete is somewhere i can go where im embraced and understood.
__________________
"Your true colors are beautiful, like a rainbow." - Cyndi Lauper
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#6
Dec 17, 2016, 10:35 AM
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You are NOT a loser. You have had a horrific year and it would bring the strongest person to their knees. Please focus on being gentle with yourself and give yourself time to grieve.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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#7
Dec 17, 2016, 10:43 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about the year you've had. Here's to hoping 2017 is a better year. Sending lots of hugs your way.
__________________
Dx: BP2 and MDD Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia Diagnosed in May 2016 |
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