Mania and depression rule my life

I'm either manic and making stupid decisions spending stupid amounts of money that I don't have or so depressed I don't even have the energy to move from bed or am lying on the floor sobbing.

With the depression comes the delusions, I'm so disgusting my boyfriend is definitely cheating on me or I'm being watched any time I leave my house.

I'm so sick of this and even with meds I am either one or the other all the time, there's never a break. What's worse is I never really know when I'm manic at the time. No therapist at the moment either.

Sorry I'm ranting~

That is really tough. I am so sorry you have to deal with such dramatic swings all the time. The meds you are on are mild, maybe an adjustment/change will help you out? You should not have to live this way and there must be a solution that will work for you to at least calm the episodes down and give you breaks in between. Therapy will help if you are able to get access to it. But I think a good psychiatrist and the right meds are the key. I wish you all the best. Post as much as you need and PM me if you want to chat.

I think my meds will be increased but we are having to do it painstakingly slow to reduce side effects and no dosage so far has touched it, but hopefully as you said, the right meds are key. Thank you I really appreciate that

I totally get your frustration because I'm going through the same exact thing. I rapid cycle even on meds and I'm soooo freaking sick of it. I said I'm not even going to bother talking to my mindless pdoc and just let her fill my scripts and I'll just trash them haha. Well not funny but I'm really almost to that point. Why am i choking down all these meds three times I day when I was more stable being a heavy drinker. For real. I don't know maybe I'll have a better frame of mind by the day of my appointment but I am very fed up lately. You're not alone!! As far as depression goes, honestly nothing ever helped me with that and ADs make me worse so I just ride it out the best I know how. But I find that geodon smashes my mania only if I take it PRN though. If I take it every day it makes me very irritable and mad. So I recently stopped taking it regularly and only when I feel I'm getting hypo/manic. Usually if i don't sleep that night, I know I need to take a dose. Took a lot of trial and error to figure that out. I'm sorry I didn't have a fix for you but I just want you to know you're not alone here and I'm sure a lot of us go through the same thing too. ((Hugs))

Don't be sorry for ranting! (((Hugs))). I can definitely relate and could see myself writing an almost identical post. I wish I had better suggestions to give, but please hang in there. My meds were recently increased, and I'm playing the waiting game.

I'm hoping for you once your meds are adjusted, you will find relief and less dramatic swings. I agree with some of the others, that your meds do appear to be mild. I know sometimes there are reasons for pdocs doing that, like if you have any medical conditions or side effects, but this is definitely worth addressing with your pdoc. Yes, it is frustrating that it takes time to really see the benefit, but don't give up! You always have support here.

Thank you all for your lovely words of support. I really needed that today. What a great community.