Am I meant to be alone?

So I'm 37 now and still single. What kinda is hurting now is my best friends wedding is coming and I will have no date. Thinking about it I wonder how women their will reject me or try to stay away from me if I approach them.

I used to think I wasn't good for love either. I just went out and had fun. One of the men I did that with is now my husband. Don't give up just yet. (And I was in my mid forties when that occurred.)

Thanks for the example but I want to have kids someday and I know one of the girls going and would love to chat with her but I fear she'll see me as repulsive.

I'm 52, and I love my friends, but I have no wife or girlfriend at this point in my life. I haven't given up, but I've clearly seen that it's harder for some people to form intimate relationships than it is for others. On the other hand, I write stories and memoirs and novels, and many people can't do that, so there's compensation. You have to choose where to invest yourself, and make the best of it. I am really fond of my circle of friends, and I communicate with them often. It's an investment, and when they tell me about their day, and I discuss the memoir I am writing, it validates my sense of who I am. Schizoaffective disorder routinely beats the crap out of me, but I can have some sort of life, around it.

I'd say, talk with this woman you're interested in. Can't hurt. Rejection sucks, but you might talk her into a date. Who knows what could happen, but if you don't try you're guaranteed to get nowhere.

I feel for you. Right now I am 40 divorced and single and wondering similar things. The thought of being alone for the rest of my life scares me. Then I recall all the people I know or have heard of who have found true love in their 40's, 50's and even 80's (that was my favourite. My neighbour lived alone and was 84. Then she met a married a lovely man. It totally changed her attitude towards life, she was glowing). There is hope for us all.

This is the first time I've been alone on Valentine's Day in 37 years. I don't know how to act. I don't have anything even closely resembling a dating life (nor do I want one) so there's no one to bring me flowers and chocolates. I always thought V-Day was a corny holiday, but now that I'm by myself I feel kinda nostalgic for it.

I don't want to be alone.

There are always single women at weddings who would loved to get asked to dance. You can make it a goal to be friendly and ask. I can't imagine them all refusing to get up and dance at a wedding.

Sending you a virtual flower.

When I broke up with my previous partner in 2007, my uncle told me to live like Katharine Hepburn--keep the guys close, have them visit often, but never let them move in or give yourself away. A few years later I met someone though and we've been together for 7 years. Then in his mid-60's he had to eat his own words cause he met the love of his life and they've been happily together for 5 years, now moving in together.

I've always enjoyed being single. Truly being happy single seems to be a prerequisite for a good relationship. Then when the right person comes along, you're not surveying them to match some blueprint or expectation of the long term or fill a void that will ultimately impact the relationship's success; it just happens organically.

Practice your . I'm serious. No act produces better result in the short run like a smile.
The rest depends of how long you can keep it going. Even a fake smile is better than the stone face.

I'll keep that in mind sir.

I feel the same way, but I'm a 34 year old female lesbian... my dating pool is maybe 3% of the globe. Most likely less. Add to that my mental illness, my child's, our crushing poverty and all of the crap that comes with that, physical illness, my past, and my personality type (infj - least likely to have good relationships, of course, because we always want more), and I feel absolutely screwed. You are most definitely not alone. I can tell you that from my experience, and you can see it from the other posts here.

I like to think we will all find someone, at least those of us who want to. Someone who rounds up, I suppose...

Here's what I can offer you: keep your head held high, remember what you have to give to the world (we all have something special), remember how important you are, don't settle for crappy treatment just to avoid being alone, and most importantly, do you. That's when you'll meet the people who will click with you, and maybe that special someone by proxy. Do that thing that makes you special, as often as possible. Get paid for it if you can. If not, consider trying to volunteer in it.

I may not have my special someone yet, but I've finally found my tribe working in mental health, and that gives me hope, and I know it makes me better each day than I was the day before, and that has to be preparing me for something good.

Much love ❤

Why on earth would she find you repulsive?? Everyone on this planet 1. Deserves to be here and 2. Has something unique to offer that nobody else can, at the very least. If she does end up rejecting you, don't waste a second worrying about it, please. Not everyone is for you, and no matter how much work is poor into trying to convince them otherwise, it only leads to heartache. The people who are for you, will appreciate you exactly the way you are. though I do believe some people judge fast and don't anyways give people the chance they should... I'm not saying immediately write her off, maybe more like try to shrug it off... there are so many other women out there for you. I'd bet there are hundreds that would love you.

February 15th is the real holiday! Discount chocolate day! 😊

Thank you so much for that. I'll try to focus on what I can give to the world and work on my smile .

I couldn't hold a relationship at all until I had a long period of 'stability'.. and I met my wife. I've been kind of falling apart the last few years.. and it is a strain. I don't think she would ever leave me. But I'm not sure we would be together if I met her in my current state.

My problem is holding friends. I burst those relationships into flames every opportunity I get.

I have a new male friend. He's 12 years younger than me and very hot. But I would never want to go romantic because I hold the friendship sacred. This is my first attempt at a friendship with a man. It isn't easy because sometimes I flirt without meaning too bc that is what comes naturally then I have to think-what if he was a girl-how would I act? This brings me back into the column of correct relationship. The point is I have broken out of my depression due to this new relationship. I am having a blast. We are hiking, hanging out at bizarre coffee shops in Asheville, texting, we have a lot n common.

Maybe you could find a friend? Maybe it could turn into something romantic but I'm finding the friend thing is way better- not all that twisted emotional stuff-no sex-just enjoyment. Don't have to be alone anymore but when I want to be, I can say see you tomorrow and ther's no drama.

I know I have said this before and it is something of a cliche but it really does
seem to happen when you least expect it or when you are not thinking about it at all.
As far as the wedding goes just try to smile and be friendly and you may be very
surprised how far that will go.

Any updates to share with the forum at large?